Sweet Seducing Sighs

Chapter 118

We were still gushing over the absolutely amazing moment with Jackie and Nat. I couldn’t believe! She told him that she loved him! And we witnessed it all!

We were still laughing over the scene, replaying it again and again and Nat laughed, still shaking her head as she held Jackie’s hand and leaned into him. It was like now that she’d finally revealed her inner feelings out loud; she could more easily show the affection that came with it. It was like her love materialized then with her saying it. Magnificent. I stood on the end, and Alex stood between me and Natalie, Jackie was on her opposite side standing next to my mom and dad. Michael stood next to my Dad his other side with Janet, and Rebbie and Katherine were next to her, along with Marlon. We all stood there in our oblong circle, talking in the middle of the amusement park while all the kids were already playing all around us.

“Ok,” Janet held a hand up. “So now that you’ve finally said it, we’re one step closer to marriage, right? Soon we’ll be seeing a ring??” She rose a pressing brow and the boys laughed and groaned, and we giggled as Natalie shook her head. She’d be doing that all day, I was sure of it.

“Let’s not rush into that just yet,” she eyed them. “Let’s deal with one thing at a time.”

Notice how Jackie simply smiled and kept silent was she said it. I also noticed how Nat didn’t make a move to look over at Katherine, who didn’t seem too happy with her answer. If anything Kathryn was still pushing Jackie to make an honest woman out of Nat. And a wishful part of me felt like Jackie was secretly all for it.

“So how long do you have left until delivery day?” my Dad asked.

“Twenty three weeks,” she grinned. “Or four and a half months, I’m gonna say instead. It sounds shorter that way,” she smirked, and everyone laughed.

“It feels like just yesterday you were just pregnant and not even showing yet,” Rebbie looked at her in awe. “And now look at you, you’ve got a full belly---” she moved up to her and rubbed her stomach and Natalie smiled even sweeter, being polite and moving her arm out of the way to let her. I remembered how in the beginning she’d told me that she couldn’t stand people constantly touching her, especially random strangers on the street coming up to her and rubbing her like there was a magic genie inside. But with time Natalie got used to it, even appreciated it I’d almost say. It was a beautiful thing, a miracle that was fascinating. People couldn’t help but fawn over it.

“Does he kick a lot?” My mom asked.

“All the time,” Nat groaned, and again they laughed.

“I told her,” Jackie joined in with a proud. “He’s gonna be a dancer just like his daddy.”

Of course everyone joined in on the excited comments, who the baby would look like and what features he’d take, and suddenly more hands were coming in to rub her as she told them that he was kicking right then.

I resisted the urge that I had to reach up and touch my own belly, imagining the same thing for myself, but I knew that it was too early for that. Our own baby was in its first stages and just beginning to form. There would be nothing to feel yet. But he was there, and that was still wonderful to me.

I felt a hand tap my spine from behind and looked up Alex, looking over at me and smirking so knowingly. I smiled back, pursing my lips together reminding him to keep mum in the secret that we shared. And inwardly I thanked him for keeping it so far, and not throwing out bogus insider hints like I knew him to always do.

He looked away from me and at the group. “I’m kinda thirsty,” he said to them. “Anyone want something to drink?”

“There’s a cooler out next to the lemonade stand for the adults,” Michael raised his hand pointing to it on our far left. “There’s sodas and hard drinks in there too if you’d like.”

“Great,” Alex nodded. “Anyone else want anything?”

A few people asked for wine coolers, and others asked for just regular drinks. Kay asked for a beer and I saw the starlight in Alex’s eyes when he looked at her. It made me wanna laugh. Alex loved a girl who didn’t shy away from the hard liquor. Looked like he and her were just getting on the right foot today.

Michael said that he was good, of course, and the others declined along with him. Alex started ahead and then turned to me, smiling down with happy expression on his face.

“What about you, Jess? Can I grab a beer for you?”

Oh screw him. I held my jaw tight, holding my expression and coating it with a nonchalant smile. “No thanks I’m good,” I raised my hands. “I’m not drinking today.” Or ever until this baby is to term and out of me.

“Aww, why not, Jess?” he smirked, and I wanted to kill him. I should have known better than to think he would be above this, even today.

“Because, I don’t want to drink,” I glared at him. “I’m not in the mood.” But I am in the mood to kick your ass, I told him through my eyes. So stop it. I looked over to Michael nervously to see if he had any idea what Alex meant by his teasing, but Michael didn’t seem to notice anything. He was looking calmly at the direction of the kids on the rides.

“I wish I could have a drink,” Natalie sighed. “I don’t even have wine anymore. I stopped drinking it just to be safe.”

“You mean I made you stop drinking it to be safe.” Jackie gave knowing eyes at her and she eyed him back and stuck a playful tongue out.

“I would do the same thing with Jess,” Michael said, and it made me turn in surprise to him where was next to Jackie and Janet. “I wouldn’t want to take any risks if it were us, either.”

I watched him for a moment, his eyes so intent, knowing just what he said. My heart halted in that second because I’d almost thought that he was going to reveal it then, that we were having a baby too. But he simply stood there calmly looking at them, not glancing once at me. Thank goodness, he hadn’t said anything else. He’d kept quiet with his eyes focused on them, even though I could just tell by his glinting eyes that he was dying inside with the need to tell them.

Soon, baby. Not yet.

His words, even though a little revealing, had truth to them. He’d replaced all of my coffee with decaf, along with throwing out all the caffeinated teas and sodas. I’d regrettably found it out the next morning of me having the positive pregnancy when I’d brewed a cup of coffee for myself habitually, almost forgetting my happy news and what it meant, and nearly spit it out all over the kitchen floor. I don’t care what anyone says, decaf coffee has never, and will never taste the same as original. No matter how much flavoring you put in it.

“We’d rather be safe than sorry, you know?” Jackie nodded to him, and Michael agreed. “We’re doin well and we don’t wanna make any mistakes this far along with the baby.”

“I agree,” Michael smiled. “That’s a really good choice you made. It’s such a beautiful thing happening, you don’t wanna risk anything.” Oh, babe.

Alex came back with the armful of drinks and passed them out, and everyone thanked him. It was funny how just a moment ago he was a stranger, people didn’t even know he was, and now he was at ease with the family. He was still a little nervous to be around such a big family of all celebrities, you could tell, but they made it easy for him to be comfortable.

He handed his last beer to Kayla, a maneuver that I don’t think was a coincidence, and gave her a demure smile. “For you.”

She gave him gracious eyes back and took it, thanking him. When he went back to his spot between me and Nat he looked over at her on his left and grinned, and her eyes sparkled right back at him. She then reached out to hold his hand with hers, and he smirked at her happily before he turned to me, smiling down and lifting his free arm up to hook around my neck as I took his hand in response. My mom and Dad were smiling at us the whole time.

“Look at them,” Mom said, “All grown up, all together again. I have to take a picture of this before we leave.”

“These three right here?” My dad pointed to us as he spoke to everyone else. “Were the terrible trio growing up. Wreaked havoc everywhere they went.”

People started laughing again and the culprits, me Natalie and Alex just stood there smiling, all aligned like the Three Musketeers again.

“Caused all kinds of damage,” he said, and my mom nodded like she was hearing the truth.

“And you couldn’t get any one of them to tell on the other if they got caught. One went down, they all did,” she shook her head.

Everyone was still laughing at that and I looked over to Natalie, nudging her by her hip as he grinned at her. My eyes moved over to Jackie then, watching them both with a happy light. He was genuinely glad for her.

“I gotta admit, I was wondering who he was at first,” Marlon admitted, talking in the group and pointing at Alex. “When we came into the room and saw Nat’s arms around him while my brother stood to the side I was like, something’s wrong here!”

They started chortling at that and even Alex started chuckling next to me, just looking happy to be there. He and Nat had been waiting for such a long time to be reunited and now they were here, together in bliss.

“They’ve been best friends since grade school,” my mom said. “Best friends and all our children.” She smiled at me then, and Alex hooked me closer into him and I grinned up as he set his attention on me. Ever since we were little kids Nat and Alex were like the adopted kids of the family. Natalie’s was more literally than Alex’s, but my parents took them under their wing all the same. I’ve said before, if anyone thought that he and I were close, then they haven’t seen anything until they’ve seen him and Natalie together. They were attached at the hip, and he was her big brother more than he was mine. It wasn’t something that I was ever bitter about either. It was just how the cookie crumbled.

Alex leaned away from me and started talking low to Natalie, and I couldn’t quite make out what he said because someone had started talking to me then.

“So Jess, how’s married life treating you? Michael been a pain yet?”

I looked up at Michael who had just simultaneously turned his attention to me, and I realized that it was Marlon who had spoken.

“It’s great,” I nodded, looking towards Michael as I said it. “And no he’s not a pain. It’s everything I hoped for.”

His eyes softened at that.

“Jess you don’t have to lie to us,” Marlon cut in, shaking his head. “We’re family. You can tell us the truth. We know that you can’t stand him.”

That made the brothers roar and our parents joined in, and Michael didn’t take hard to the teasing either. Of course he just rolled his eyes.

I came quick to his defense. “No, Michael’s been great. And he’s been working really hard too but he still makes time for me.” I gave him a happy smile at that. He returned the gesture.

“You look really good too, Mike,” Janet turned from where she stood next to him and gazed up and down his frame. “You put on some good weight. That’s really gonna help while your sweating it off on the shows.”

“Yeah man this is the biggest I ever seen you,” Jackie this time.

“You look so different,” Rebbie sounded amazed.

Michael looked satisfied as he replied to them all, “I’ve been eating a lot of food lately to put on as much weight as I can.”

“It shows,” Janet nodded. “You look like you’ve got a lot of muscle too.”

“Thank Jess,” he raised his hand. “She’s the one who helped me put it on. She’s been cooking like crazy and helping me bulk myself up while practicing.”

“You did good Jessie,” Jackie nodded admiringly.

“I can’t take all the credit,” I shook my head. “Mike’s the one who’s been training so hard. He’s been doing amazing,” I beamed.

Michael grinned widely at me and Marlon immediately started waving his hands, cutting off the sap moment. “Ok,” he drawled. “I see where this is going. Y’all love each other.”

We all started chuckling.

“Anyways Mike you look good,” he waved his hand.

“Thanks,” he replied.

It was only expected that after that the conversation trailed into Michael and tour, and on the show dates coming. We were far into another conversation again when one of the kids, Elijah came through and started tugging Michael from the arm of his shirt making him turn around to him.

“Michael, you promised you’d play with us when everyone came! They’re all here! Let’s GOO!”

We watched Michael look down at him as the others laughed, and Michael smiling let Elijah pull him away, with nary a glance to the rest of us. And then I felt a tug at my own outfit too, and turned and saw Auggie standing at three feet below me.

“Jessie you said you’d go on rides with us!” he accused.

I sighed at that, giving him a surrendering smile and I turned to everyone in the group as I waved a hand. “I did promise. See you guys later.”

They all laughed, mixed in a chorus of “Later Jessie,” and I was dragged away with him as he pulled me by his hand in the same direction that Elijah took Mike. And even a good distance away I heard people in the group behind me say, “Well, there go the little kids with the big ones.” and “She and Michael are too cute, I swear.”

Something about the last made me happy, and I was grinning as Elijah pulled me eagerly and faster up as we started reaching Michael and once we were within arm’s reach of them I sidled right up to him and brought my arm around his waist with my free hand.

“Hey you,” I hummed to him.

He looked down surprised at me, and then instantaneously smiled as he hooked his arm around my shoulder, much like Alex had. I held his waist steadily and leaned up to plant his cheek with a kiss, and he looked very pleased with that as we kept walking.

“No no no! No kissing!” Elijah bellowed, and then with a strong tug he pulled Michael farther to the side and broke his and my hold apart. “Only playing, ok??”

“Ok geez!” I held my hand up in surrender and Michael started hiccupping laughing, stumbling as he walked and was lead further away. I pouted as he was taken from me in that moment, and then that was the last that I saw of him for a long time, because he’d then been taken off to the other rides while I went on the carousel with Austin.

***
---

I rode on a lot of the rides with the kids, they were tugging me left and right once each of them spotted me and I had to oblige, so we went on the Zipper, the magic genie, and we went down the huge slide. I passed Jess a couple of times as her buddies Auggie and Valencia tugged her each and every which way and it made me laugh. Elijah was intent on not letting me go over to her, so whenever we caught each other’s eyes we smiled and waved in passing, and went on to our next rides. The kids took me over the bridge so that I could do the “earthquake” for them. They loved whenever I did that, so of course I delivered again. They were screaming at the top of their lungs and shrieking, and I shook it carefully as they held on to the edge.

“Earthquake! It’s an earthquake! We’re gonna die!”

I shook it harder and made it tremble and rock, and I heard their serious “Whoah!” in response and it made me laugh. I stopped and let it go, looking over where all the parents were walking and talking. I spotted my mother talking with Jackie and Natalie, and I stopped and stared. Her stomach was so big now; she was so far along and looked beautiful with this pregnancy. And seeing Jackie with her and constantly around and caring for her, you could tell he was just enjoying every last second of it. Lucky guy.

“Michael! Shake it again!”

I felt someone grab my thigh and I turned back to them, and nephews and nieces were looking at me, waiting for me to do it once again. I grinned at them and squatted down and rattled it again and they shrieked in delight, holding onto the edge for safety as they enjoyed the ride. I smiled and looked back up at the group walking around and I paused, seeing Natalie stop and talk with my mother, while Jackie looked quietly at her side. She pointed to Jackie while talking and he nodded, and she pointed at her stomach and it caught my attention even more. I wondered what that was about.

“Again! Shake it again!”

I turned to my group of kids. “Guys, I’ll be right back ok?”

“Aww,” they instantly started crying and I laughed. “I’ll be right back.” I moved out the opposite way and walked down to where I saw them, and soon I’d joined them as I heard them faintly talking.

I put my hand on Mother’s arm. “Hi.”

She turned to me. “Michael, Jackie and Natalie have a question to ask you.”

I looked up at them and frowned.

“On the way here, a couple of reporters saw us. They took some pictures. I don’t think it’s a big deal but I just wanted to let you know. If the press already realized who Nat is and that she’s friends with Jess, You know the nasty stuff they can say, man.”

“Yeah, I know,” I nodded quietly and then turned to Nat. “Well if they know that you’re Jessie’s friend then they might say some stuff, but just ignore it. They’re gonna come up with all kinds of trash to say. And if they start to bother you give me a call. I can have a neighborhood barrier put up for you like I did for Jessie’s parents when they started getting harassed.”

“Ok,” she nodded, eyes wide but looking like I gave just the answer she wanted.

“You should be fine,” I smiled to her. “But if anything, give me a call.”

“I will,” she said.

“See baby,” Jackie smirked. “I told you everything would be ok.” She gave him an acknowledging glance but said nothing more. I couldn’t keep my eyes from looking down at her belly, and looking astonished at it. I could have sworn that it wasn’t that big the last time that I saw her.

“Your makin me feel real attractive here, Mike.”

My eyes flew up to her face as she watched me amusedly, and I blushed.

“Sorry,” I mumbled. She, my mother and Jackie laughed, and I looked over at them holding my embarrassed expression. That’s when I realized that they were separate from the group. “Where’s everyone else?” I asked.

“Alex took Kayla on one of the rides, Janet went with your cousins on the slide, and everyone else is still on the other side talking.”

“I wanna go on a ride, Jackie,” Nat said and it made me look at her again.

“Right now?” He said.

“Yes right now,” she hit his hand snorting.

“Sugar, I’m not really up for rides right now,” he winced, looking pained to deny her. She looked even more distraught as she gave him a pouting face.

“Who’s gonna go with me then?” She frowned.

I paused for a second, and then decided it. “I’ll take you” I offered.

She looked at me, a blank expression in her face a second before she finally settled on her own reply. “Ok.”

“Let’s go on the train,” she offered first. I nodded my agreement and held my hand out to her, and she took it easily before I led her along.

The train sounded in its long loud horn and off we went. You could hear the locomotion of the wheels on the track as you saw the steady passing of object around us, and we sat in silence of it. At first there was an odd silence, an awkward moment between us being the only two people riding the whole train. But I smiled at her, and she looked at me and after a moment of staring returned the gesture. I looked down quickly and folded my hands in my lap, and again I noticed her stomach from the corner of my eye, and I turned to her.

“So you’ve got four months left, huh?”

“Yup,” she said. She looked down at herself and smiled, and the love was evident. Months ago I would have said that Natalie was incapable of loving anything, anyone but Jessie. Now she proved me wrong double time, with this and with the revelation to Jackie.

“What does it feel like?” I asked. I said it without even thinking. She looked at me like that was an odd question, and I guessed that it was, but I was curious.

“It feels…like I have a permanent backpack in the front of me. And that backpack is constantly pushing down on my waist and making me have to go pee.”

I started laughing at that and she smiled wider.

“It never hurts?” I frowned.

She shook her head. “Well, only time it hurts is when he starts kickin like crazy. And I wouldn’t really say that it hurts. It’s just a pain in my butt.” She held her hand out on her stomach and went still, and then smirked. “And he’s kicking now.”

I held my breath, watching closely as she said it, it crazy to imagine that there was a child inside of there, moving and living and sustaining off of her until his time to be free. It was amazing.

“You wanna feel?” she rose a brow, and my mouth felt dry as I leaned forward and held my hand out. She took my palm and guided it low down her abdomen and I froze, unmoving and suddenly uncomfortable as her hands fixed mine around her stomach and then finally held me there. We waited for a moment. And then I felt it.

“Oh my god,” I breathed.

She smiled and moved her hands, and I leaned forward pressing my hand more firmly for it again.

“Jesus Christmas--” I looked up at her. “I can feel it!”

She was wordless as her eyes glinted at me and let me feel for a few more patient kicks, and then I reluctantly moved my hand back and gave her space, still amazed at it all.

“He’s strong,” I hummed.

“I know,” she rose her brows. “He likes to remind me too. Imagine having that happen five times in a row. It’s a killer,” she shook her head.

“Does he kick all the time?”

“When he’s awake, yes. And he has a different sleep schedule than mine so while I’m sleeping he’s usually up and boxing me. But then that’s when I’m grateful when Jackie’s around cause all he has to do is sing to the baby and it calms him down.”

“Aw,” I cooed, bringing my hand out again to her stomach. It was just so sweet. I couldn’t wait to do that, sing to my baby and calm her down when she was active. It was such a wonderful thing, feeling the life in her like that. I couldn’t pull my hands away. But then I remembered who it was that I was touching so freely and I quickly did just that. I pulled my hands right off.

I muttered to her. “Sorry.”

She laughed. “It’s ok.”

I watched for her expression and she didn’t seem bothered by it. She looked fine with me, she didn’t look like she had a problem. So then I couldn’t resist. I had to ask. “Can I feel again?”

“Sure,” she smiled.

And gladly I put my hand back, and soon I felt his little dancer body kicking me.

“You can talk to him too,” she offered. “He knows voices.”

That instantly got me, and as the train turned a long corner I leaned in closer and held her stomach in my hands, talking to the baby.

“Hey buddy,” I said. “Guess who this is? It’s Uncle Mike.”

I hesitated, wondering what else I could say. “I’m gonna be your favorite uncle soon.”

She started laughing and it made me giggle, and I brought a kiss down to her stomach before I started talking to him again, telling him everything about the family and about the world outside just waiting for him. I was in heaven, and couldn’t stop crooning over him in her stomach. Oh, my sweet nephew.

They said it wouldn't last
We had to prove them wrong
Cause I've learned in the past
That love will never do without you


Chapter 117

As soon as Joseph had come suddenly everyone else was coming one after the other, and soon the party was in full effect. Michael’s whole side was here, save for a few people such as Latoya who had stayed home in Encino, and Randy who had opted to stay with her and take care of her. She was still pretty much recovering from being rescued from her husband and wanted to stay at home where she felt safe. Save for the one exception she made coming to the wedding, she was starting to have flashbacks again and wanted to stay inside where she felt less afraid. We understood.

Janet was here, and of course the first thing she did was pull me aside and ask to see my belly ring. She was sad to find out, and I was regretful telling her that I no longer had it.

“Why’d you take it out?? Did Michael make you do it?” She frowned.

I’d laughed. “No, I decided it on my own. It’s just not something for me anymore.” She hadn’t understood, but begrudgingly accepted it. But soon she’d find out exactly what I’d meant.

Marlon and his wife Carol came, with their three children Valencia, Brittany and Junior. Taryll, TJ and Taj were here and with Tito, and they were all standing by the piano with Joe talking show business, of course. Rebbie was here with Little Auggie and his two older sisters, and they were standing with Kathryn and Michael at the couches, gushing over Jermaine’s new baby boy as his mother Alejandra held him. Baby Jafaar had stolen the show as soon as he entered the room, he was so dang precious he deserved the spotlight. Some of the other kids were already playing outside, and stuffing their faces with candy. Pretty soon I was about to join them. Everyone was enjoying themselves which made me glad. Now I just waited for my side of the family to arrive so the celebration could truly begin.

I made small talk here and there, but mostly shuffled around the room, doing my rounds and checking the front door every few seconds to see if anyone from my side came. No one yet, but still I waited.

I bit my lip idly, checking my nails and playing with my bracelet, stopping and looking at everyone talking and enjoying themselves and smiling as I caught their eyes and waved from where I stood. After a little while from the corner of my vision I saw BJ entering the room, and walking towards me.

“Hey birthday girl,” he smiled. “Still looking out for your parents?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Any word yet?”

He shook his head. “Bill said that they left the airport half an hour ago and were on there way when he last heard, so they should be getting here any minute now.”

That wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but I guessed that was what I had to accept. I’d have to be patient for a little longer. I breathed out, tightening my crossed arms while he smirked at me.

I paused seeing his knowing expression, and soon I smirked back. “I’m just so excited to see them again.”

“I can tell,” he laughed. “You’re not being a very good hostess cause of it.”

I paused again, looking around at everyone who was mingling on the opposite end.

“I’m not, am I.”

He laughed. “I get it though,” he said assuring me, and as I scanned through all of them my eyes fell on Michael’s, who had already been looking at me.

We made eye contact and his expression barely hid his curiosity. He was watching us, wondering what I was doing and looking calmly on as we talked. I smiled at him quickly and he gave his stiff version of a smile, acknowledging me with a firm nod of his head. He was being polite and now showing what he was thinking, but I was pretty sure I already knew.

Before I could be any surer of it he suddenly started to stand up from his seat on the armchair and left his group unceremoniously…the first time that he’d actually left his mother’s side since she’d gotten here over an hour ago. Good to know that that was how I could get his attention in the future. Just make him jealous.

That made me grin as he started walking over to me and that gave BJ the clear signal to disperse.

“I’ll let you know if I get any new word on them,” he murmured suddenly formally sounding again.

“Ok, thanks,” I nodded. And with that he was moving out.

Ever since Michael had told him to stay away from me, BJ had made sure to keep a clear distance and not to be too buddy-buddy with me while Michael was around. I understood it, thought it was kind of cute in a way that he was jealous of our closeness but I still thought it was kind of stupid. Men, they could be so petty sometimes. Now I was going to have to make an extra effort to show Michael that he was still the number one man in my life and that there was no threat. But to be honest, I didn’t mind doing it at all.

Michael’s eyes followed BJ as he moved away and as he finally joined me and gave me the focus of his eyes, now more openly looking for affirmation that nothing fishy was going on. So sweet.

“Hi,” I smiled.

“Hi,” he said. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” I nodded quickly. “I’m fine. Just waiting for my parents.”

Now he seemed to understand. “They’ll be here soon,” he smiled, reaching out to pull my spaghetti strap up my shoulder.

“I know,” I smirked back in thanks. “I’m just excited to see them.”

“I can understand that,” he said, brushing his thumb across my skin. “Do you wanna come sit down in the meantime?”

I shook my head. “No it’s ok; I’ll just wait for them here.”

He paused, watching me, clearly searching my expression. “Are you sure?”

I nodded my head. “Yeah.”

He looked unsure at me, and it made me frown at him. “What?”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” he said again.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

He watched me. “Do you feel sick again?”

That made me frown deeper. “No,” I shook my head. “I don’t feel like anything. I’m fine,” I told him.

He still didn’t seem like he believed me, but I didn’t know how to persuade him that I was ok. Instead I turned away and looked towards the kitchen, seeing what was going on as the workers gave plates of food to two kids. They were two boys, whom I couldn't seem to recognize. They both had short dark wavy hair, and even darker eyes and pale skin. They were short, both looked no older than twelve. One was wearing a hat tipped back on his head that looked like one of Michael’s. Were they nephews of his? Cousins? One of the guests? I didn’t think I’d ever seen them before.

“Mike,” I paused, pointing in his direction. “Who are those boys? Are they your relatives?”

Michael paused and moved up next to me to see where I was looking, and stopped. “Oh! It’s Eddie and Frank!”

I stopped and frowned at that.

“Remember the kids that you met yesterday? They were with their sisters on the carousel."

There were a lot of people on the carousel. I still didn't recognize them.

"The Cascios," he tried again. "The family that I vacationed with last year. Before the MTV awards?”

Oh yeah....now I remembered. The year that we fought.

“That's Eddie and his brother Frank,” he nodded towards him. “I didn’t know that he was here yet. Come on, I wanna introduce you.” He took my hand and pulled me with him and I followed, and we moved through the doorway of the kitchen and went to the island table, where the boys were eating chips eagerly from their separate plates of food.

One of them looked up as we moved closer, and his eyes found Michael and lit up as Michael let go of me and engulfed him in his arms. “Eddie!”

“Hi Michael!” He piped up hugging him before Michael stepped back and did the same to his brother.

“Where are your mom and dad?” he asked.

"They're not here yet," the other boy muffled with food in his mouth. "They're coming."

“Ok," Michael nodded, leaving it at that. And then he turned to me. "Jessie, you remember Eddie and Frank.”

I smiled at them both. “Hi. Nice to see you again.” I shook Frank's hand and then his brother's, and and they both gave polite smiles that perfectly resembled each others.

“Eddie and Frank are both flying out with us along with the other kids. They went on my last tour with me too.”

“Oh yeah, I remember that,” I nodded, smiling down at him. “We’re gonna have a lot of fun.”

He smiled again.

“We're gonna have a great time,” Michael nodded, the eager little boy in him coming out. "We're gonna have a LOT more fun this time."

"Yeah," they cheered happily.

Michael was taking a handful of kids on tour to travel with us and even be a part of the shows, and the group included his nieces and nephews, such as Brandi and Auggie. It was going to be a lot of company, which would be great for Michael as he flew around. He could use all the people around that he could get, especially when I would soon become no use to him being tired and bloated and so pregnant that I would have to fly back home for the rest of the trimester. It was good that he was taking so many of the kids with him. It really did work out this way.

They talked a little more, and revealed that their parents were on the other side of the house getting their sisters ready in the cottage that they stayed in for the night. Michael asked Eddie if they were done packing to leave tomorrow and he assured him that he was, and Michael promised that he could still take them shopping overseas anyways. They both seemed very happy about that.

As they were talking I felt myself fidgeting again, and I excused myself to leave and go check the livingroom. No one there yet, and I stood and bit my lip again, waiting seconds longer to see if anyone would come through the door. Nobody yet. Nat and Jackie still weren’t here, and Kayla was coming with them so that left her out too. And Alex was coming with my parents, so without them I didn’t have him either. I was waiting on only two parties, but both parties held the groups of the most important people that I had to see. I sighed out and checked my watch, it was way past an hour and a half now. Everyone on my side was late. For some reason the realization of that hit me, and the sudden tightening in my chest had me blinking myself out of it and turning around. I made my way over to the stairs and heard someone call from behind me.

“Jessie! Wait! We wanna ask you something!” It was TJ.

I turned around smiling quickly at him and his group. “I’ll be right back.”

They had paused, but I hadn’t given them time as I gave them a reassuring smile and made my way up the stairs. I climbed up and moved down the hallway, spotting the open nursery filled with toys. I paused and went inside, finding myself in a wonderland of stuffed animals and dolls and toy cars, and those were the old toys that we had. There were a dozen new ones, baby dolls of all skin colors, many ebony skinned dolls that I once would have thought were impossible to find, but when you’re Michael Jackson the most rare doll is at your easiest reach. I went to the cribs that were a nest of toys and I walked up to the edge rim, peering inside and grabbing the closest thing. It was a stuffed Dumbo, his long snout and big ears as plush as the rest of him. I held him up and looked into his marble eyes, his long cute lashes and I imagined handing it to a little boy, or to a little girl. Then I imagined that little girl’s face, first with Michael’s features, then with mine. We had strong genes in both sides of our family. Would he take Michael’s features or mine? I was almost an exact clone of my mother, would our baby be the same, or would he have the handsome and stark features of his father? Would they have my personality? Or would they have his? I wondered on and finally put Dumbo down, reaching for a smaller teddy bear with mustard-colored fur and a cashmere-clone sweater on. The bear was obviously male, and would be perfect for a little boy. I smiled at that and wondered if Michael had thought that too, or just had gone on a whim to purchase any toy that he could find. I was betting on the latter. I wrapped him in my arm and turned to leave, closing the door and going down the hall to the bedroom to open the door and slip inside, and I looked straight at the bed, where I knew I would find the boxes that I had laid out earlier, all lined up and ready to be opened for when my family and Nat and Kayla had arrived.

I sat down at the edge and pulled one of the boxes towards me, putting the bear down to leave my grip open as I pulled the top of and took out the stack of photos piled inside. I held them down in my lap and went through them, one by one, almost remembering their order. A photo of me and Natalie in college, photos of us with Kayla in classes and on vacation, photos of us visiting my parents in Philly, of us unpacking at our lofts once we’d moved out on our own with our new grad degrees. There were photos of me and Daniel in the middle of there, and I shuffled through them quickly, acknowledging it as my past. There were old photos of me and Alex that I’d kept all through the years, pictures of us climbing trees and playing at the park, pictures of us with Natalie. All of them were nostalgic, and it was so funny to see my life back then, and compare it over so many years to now, with me siting here at my new home, and my new life, about to start another page and chapter. I thought quickly of how I would have to have lots of pictures of me on tour, to add to the collection and hopefully show to my children when they were of age. To show them my life and how far I came.

I touched my stomach idly, feeling the flat firmness underneath. Nothing showing yet, but once I was on tour the time would go by so fast and I’d be full grown next thing I knew. After tomorrow it would all be a blur and all go so fast, I probably wouldn’t even know where the time went. One second I was here, the next I would be in the air and in a new life and atmosphere. After today was over everything would change, and we’d be gone from here, and gone from home, and our new home would be on the road, in each new hotel. I realized that that was why I wanted my family to get here so badly…Because every second that they hadn’t arrived was another second that I wouldn’t get to spend time with them, another second that we’d be away. I wanted to spend every moment that I could with them and soak it up before I left, before I was gone from everyone that I loved and on my own. I knew that I had Michael, but he would be so busy, so beaten and tired from constantly performing, that I’d virtually be alone a lot of the time. I just wanted to be surrounded by the people that I loved, and have my time with them before I was taken away.

My face went numb and I felt the first teardrop fall, and I moved the picture out of the way quickly before it could stain it. And then I finally dropped the photo and wiped my eye, feeling another teardrop fall at the same time. It was too late, and finally I covered my face, taking a shaking breath that ended in more tears.

I had already begun full out crying when I heard someone’s voice behind me stop my heart. “Aw damn, Munch, you didn’t have to take Lesley Gore that seriously.”

My head flew up as I turned around, and saw Alex standing at the opening of the door, with a broad grin as he looked down at me. I gasped out and crawled out of the bed, stumbling over my high shoes to run to him as I crashed into him with a hug, balling even harder as I felt his arms envelop me.

“Please, please give me one good reason why you are up here crying and not enjoying your own party.”

I shook my head with my face buried in his chest, still sobbing against him and trying for air as I spoke my hiccupped words. “I don’t--have a—reason--,” My shoulders shook, still sobbing and gulping my emotions back. “But now that you’re here--it’s not--gonna stop…”

Right then he laughed, and it was a beautiful laugh, and he pulled me closer and leaned down to kiss my cheek, and everything was suddenly okay again.


---


I had finished hugging Valerie when Mother had got up to come and hug and greet her while the rest of the family did the same, and I moved to Christian as he stretched his arms out to me with a big grin that made me quickly remember the open arms that he’d had for me when I went to go see Jessie when she’d gone home with them.

“Hey Son!” he beamed.

“Hi Dad!” His strong grip had made me feel even more welcome, even now that we were in my home, and I hugged him back, holding him in thanks for being here. Jessie should be down here by now to see them. I knew that I’d sent Alex up to surprise her; shouldn’t they be back any minute now?

I pulled back from the long hug that we had, grinning myself as the rest of the family came to shake his hand and give him hugs themselves as Valerie continued hugging and kissing everybody else.

“Michael, where’s JJ?” Christian asked. “Where’s our girl?”

“She’s upstairs,” I pointed. “I sent Alex up to get her.”

He acknowledged that silently and happily as I told him, “I’ll go get her. She’s been waiting for you all day.”

He nodded and beamed again at that, and I felt myself grinning wider again, so happy that they were able to make it. I knew it meant so much to Jessie to have them here. It meant so much to me too to see them so close again.

“Thanks Son,” his strong voice matched his business-like appearance, and I bowed again to him as I turned around feeling triumphant and starting to head to the direction of the bedroom. And as I turned I instantly noticed Joseph in front of me, staring at me with a serious expression in his eyes and stopping me in my tracks. I felt my shoulders tense as I froze and wondered if I had done something wrong, and as his gaze held mine sternly I got nervous and had to glance away, and I kept moving.


---

“Good going…you ruined your makeup, and almost ruined my shirt. You’re lucky I had a dark jacket on.”

I laughed, still wiping under my eyes with the damp cloth, and moving it to re-apply my eyeliner again. “That was smart thinking for you. Lucky for you that you wore it because I don’t know how you’d feel about having to wear one of Michael’s shirts.

He scoffed and laughed again, folding his grey suit jacket and hooking it over his arm. “No thanks. Your husband’s style is a little too flashy for me.”

I smirked and turned to him. “Well maybe I like flashy.”

He grinned. “I’m sure you do.”

I grinned back at that and noticed his appearance fully. He was wearing a suit, or had been wearing one until I’d smeared mascara on his coat. Now he wore a black and white thin-striped shirt that had a thick black tie running down his neck. He looked absolutely snazzy. And I couldn’t fail to notice his hair.

“You cut your hair!” I exclaimed.

He gave me a bow as I moved up to him to touch it. “I love it,” I droned as I petted, and he simply kept flashing me his pearly white teeth as I finally moved back from him. “Ok, now time to worry about myself and the mess that I am,” I nodded.

He laughed and I turned back to see myself in the mirror.

“You’re actually fine now,” he murmured calmly. “You fixed it.”

I looked at myself and he was right. I’d salvaged the damage, and now I no longer looked like the grim reaper. Big points for me. I combed my hair out with my hands and took a deep breath, checking my clothing over and then finally turning at attention to him. “Do I look ok?”

‘You definitely don’t look like raccoon anymore,” he nodded.

I laughed. Not exactly the answer I was looking for.


--

I climbed up the steps to the bedroom and heard their voices before I saw them through the far end of the doorway, and a small irrational part of me glad that they were only talking in there. I knew that he was her best friend and I’d been told that there was no need to worry, but as a guy, or just as a person in general you still have those crazy thoughts in your head that knows that there are still some things that you’ll always be afraid of seeing. I’ve seen much worse happen in my family, I guess I was almost trained to think that way.

I moved to knock on the open door to announce myself when I heard Alex talking and I went quiet.

“Ok, now are you gonna tell me why you were crying?”

That stopped me in my place as I saw them standing together, and saw her red eyes as she looked up at him, and then looked down.

“I don’t know.”

I moved further back then, staying out of sight and already wondering as I kept listening.


---


“You don’t know?” he raised an amused brow.

“I don’t---” I shook my head. “I do know, but I just don’t wanna talk about it right now. If I do I’ll start crying again.”

His expression turned serious then, his face concerned looking.

“I promise, I’ll tell you later,” I smiled to assure him I was ok. “Right now I wanna go see Mom and Dad.”

“…Ok…Fine,” he finally agreed. “But hey--” he put his hand out to hold my arm. “You know that you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know,” I smiled. I did know it. And I would tell him later. I just wanted to get myself together and see my family and spent all the time I had with them. I already felt much better now, especially now that I realized the burst of emotions had been the hormones acting. The sooner that I could tell them about it, the better I would feel about acting this crazy.

“I’m so glad that you’re here,” I sighed, rushing into him, this time careful of my face and his striped cocktail shirt. His arms came around me and I could feel his smiling expression against my forehead.

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world. You’ve got a nice place, Munchkin.”

“Thanks,” I laughed.

“Very homey and spacious. Hubby’s got good interior taste.”

“He does,” I grinned. “I think I’ll keep him.”

“And wow,” he looked at the bed, clear admiration. “Glittering sheets. You’re livin big here, Jess.”

I smiled at him, taking a deep breath, “Hey, guess what---”

“Damn and the portraits up in here, they look great.”

“Alex,” I reached out to him.

“Oh shit,” he breathed. “Is that a painting of you?”

“Alex,” I grabbed him, and he stopped his movement.

“I have something to tell you.” I took short breath and smiled, holding his eyes as I moved down to hold his hand. “I’m pregnant.”

He stood and stared for a few seconds, seconds that almost felt like minutes, and when I quirked my lip waiting for his reaction he blinked and stood up straighter.

“Wow,” he breathed again. “Wow….Jessie, congratulations!” He suddenly grabbed me one hand after the other and moved to pull me in a big hug and I found myself laughing with relief as he held me, and when we pulled apart he was even more excited.

“Congrats! That’s great!” He held out his hands and I grinned. “When’d you find this out??”

“Like four days ago,” I laughed. “We wanted to keep it a secret until the family got together. We’re telling everybody today.”

“Wow,” his wide eyes matched his open mouth and it made me grin wider. “Do your parents know?”

“Yeah,” I winced as I saw his jaw drop open at me. “I told them when I found out.”

He pretended to punch at my arm. “You jerk. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because! If I told you I knew that you would tell Nat and Nat still doesn’t know yet.” I pointed my finger up at him. “And you better not tell her when she gets here. I wanna tell her myself.”

He held his hands up in surrender. “Ok ok! I won’t say anything. My lips are sealed.” He made a motion with his fingers then, pretending to zip up his lips and throw away the key. It made me start giggling, and he was back to grinning again.

“Congratulations Jessie,” he shook his head, hugging me again as I received it gratefully. “I told you everything would be ok.”

I was grinning like a fool when I heard three knocks at the door, and it made me turn as we started to pull away and saw Michael standing there, waiting politely.

“Hey,” he said voice low and smooth. “Your parents are waiting to see you.”

“Crap,” I breathed, almost forgetting for a second that they were here for me. Alex pulled away, and smiled at Michael, and Michael gave him a friendly face back. It was good seeing them together and being friendly again. I remembered that I still had my makeup in my hand and moved to the bureau to put it down, and turned to Michael.

“Ok I’m ready,” I grinned.

He gave me a handsome smile back as he watched me tentatively like he always did, and Alex brought up a hand pointing his finger to me.

“That’s all you’re wearing?”

I turned to him. “Yeah.”

“You mean that’s it?” He arched a brow.

“Told you,” I heard Michael mutter.

I glanced to him. “Pardon?” I turned back to Alex. “What’s wrong with this?”

“This is your party, and that’s all you’re wearing?” Alex reiterated. “You don’t wanna grab a dress or anything?” I gaped openly at him, and then closed my mouth and scoffed.

“Excuse me, but Michael’s dressed casual too.”

“Yeah but this is your party,” he stressed.

“I told her that too,” Michael pointed at me. Not helping.

I sputtered on my words until I found them finally to direct at both of them. “This is what I’m wearing, and that is that.”

Alex raised his hands in surrender, making an equally yielding face. “Fine. Cool with me.”

I gave him a warning stare, and then turned it to Michael who gave an expression that he wasn’t getting involved. Yeah, a little late for that, buddy.

Alex started turning, letting us know we could go as we all started walking. And suddenly I heard him murmur, “Princess Jessie gets what Princess Jessie wants.”

“Don’t I know it,” Michael muttered behind me, and for the third time I felt my mouth falling open again.

“I’m gonna kick both of you out of my party soon, just you wait,” I snapped.

“My case is made,” Alex said.

Michael started laughing behind me and it made me shake my head repeatedly as I moved to push Alex as he walked ahead of me and started guffawing himself. We all stepped out of the doorway and moved down the hall when I felt Michael grab my arm from behind and heard the close of the door behind us.

I turned around to see what was up and watched him turn back to face me, looking past me and watching Alex leave before he gave me his gaze again. This time it was serious.

“Is everything alright?”

I looked up at him, my mouth parting at his same question from earlier.

“Yeah, everything’s ok,” I told him.

He searched my eyes, holding me in his hands. “Are you sure?”

I nodded firm and quick. “Yeah I’m sure, baby. I’m fine.”

He watched me for a second longer, eyes still searching mine for a frozen second, and then he went completely still, and his mouth went in straight grim line as he looked down at me coolly.

“Ok,” he hummed. He let go of my arms and turned wordlessly to walk ahead of me, and as I paused for a moment to wonder what that was about I realized I was alone and walked ahead to catch up with him and Alex, who had now already turned the corner and walked down the stairs.

When I finally reached the bottom of the steps they were already amidst everyone again, and just as I’d spotted them I spotted my parents, both standing together in front of Michael and Alex and both looking up at the same time and spotting me. I felt my heart speed to match my legs as I raced down the steps and skipped down to them, grabbing them both at the same time and burying myself in their arms.

“My baby,” I heard my mother passionately say. “Happy Birthday.”

***


This is it, my stop, Kayla said to herself. She shut the motor off of the car and grabbed her bags to climb out, thanking security for opening her door and escorting her even though she practically had memorized every path of the place. They walked up the stone path as she held her bags in her hand and fixed her dress, flipping her hair and making sure she looked pleasant. She wouldn’t let Braden’s idiotic self ruin her day. She would have fun without him. And it was his loss too, he could have partied with Michael Jackson, but because he’d shown his true colors now he wouldn’t even see his place. Kayla hadn’t told him that it was Jessie’s party that they were going to because she knew that if she’d told him that they were going to the house of the King of Pop, he would have pulled some stunt of trying to bring a camera or calling friends who would tell friends who would set off a paparazzi and news frenzy. Instead it was going to be a surprise, and she’d told him that they would be going to the party of a very close friend, and from there she would see how it went and how he would handle it once they’d arrived. And now that he’d shown her his true colors and shown that he couldn’t even be there for her for a fake small event, she was more than sure that he hadn’t been worthy for this. He’d stood her up again, and now she was done. She didn’t even wait for his pathetically apologetic call. She’d picked up her things, gotten ready and taken off. After today, she would be single again.

She walked up the stone path and admired the flowers and statues all around, and as they got to the front door she thanked the nice security man who again opened the door for her to let her in. When she stepped inside she immediately saw everyone to her right as they were laughing and talking, and she spotted Jessie with her family, as they excitedly chatted with each other.

She found herself smiling and moved forward, holding her gift in her hand as she moved to them. Her eyes scanned the room recognizing everyone quickly, all the people that she’d met before at the engagement party and the wedding. There were a lot of kids around, how precious. She moved closer and saw another smiling face, and it gave her pause. She’d never seen him before. She moved a little slower as she watched him by his profile, and noticed his short brown hair and pale skin. He was tall and had a lean physique, and wore a nicely tailored grey and white striped collared shirt, with grey slacks to match. She rose a very suddenly interested brow at him as she suddenly put the pieces together. This must be Alex.

She had just reached a foot’s distance from the circle of family when someone spotted her and exclaimed. “Hey look Jessie! Your friend is here!”

Jessie was pulled away from her conversation when she turned to look around and spotted Kayla, and her eyes lit up as she turned to go and grab her.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” She squeezed her tight, holding her close she whispered her a habitual happy birthday in her ear and pulled back, holding her hands.

“Where’s Nat and them?” Jessie glanced behind her. “I thought they were coming with you?”

“They were,” she eyed her, “But some stuff came up and happened,” she waved it off, “and long story short, I’m here by myself.”

“Oh,” she said, her surprised face quickly turning to a happy smile again. “Well it doesn’t matter, I’m glad you’re here!” She shook her hands in hers excitedly. And Kayla realized something.

“Wait a second…They’re not here already? They left the house before I did!” Her brows furrowed as she frowned at that, and Jessie’s expression fell again.

“Really?? They’re not here…I hope they’re ok…” she wondered aloud.

Kay blinked and shook it off, waving her hand again. “Oh I’m sure they’re fine. They probably just stopped on the road for pregnancy sex.”

“Kayla!” Jessie gasped, laughing. “That’s so nasty…and besides, the kids are with them!”

Kayla grinned, humor filling her eyes and a laugh ready to fall from her lips. “That’s never stopped them before.”

Jessie groaned out loud, laughing so hard now and already so glad that Kayla came when she felt an arm hook around her as she heard him say, “And thank you, for a visual that I did not need.”

She turned to see Alex, standing and smiling at Kayla as she smirked back, pursing her lips in her own amusement. Jessie caught her breath enough to move a hand to hold Alex back and introduce them. “Kayla, this is Alex. Alex, this is my girl Kayla. You both pretty much know all about each other,” she laughed again.

Kayla watched him closely, and he was obviously staring back, smiling invitingly to her. He liked what he saw, definitely. She was gorgeous. Her long honey brown hair shined in its waves as they hung around her, and framed her tiny body, framed even more well by her tiny silk emerald dress.

“Nice to finally meet you Kay,” he gave his best devilish smile with a low rumble of his casual voice and held his hand out, and she demurely placed her palm in his. “How we’ve never been introduced before will forever baffle me though.”

Jessie watched him, eyeing him herself.

“To be quite honest, I’m wondering the same exact thing,” Kay smirked. And to that he widened his grin.

“So I only caught the last part of your conversation. Natalie’s not here?” He frowned, and somehow it made him look even more handsome before her.

“We took separate cars,” she shook her head. “But she should be here soon if we left around the same time.”

He simply nodded at that and gave her a sly quirk of his lip. “No rush. I can be patient.”

She nodded back. “It’s a virtue, you know.”

“Of course,” he grinned, hooking his arm around Jess’s neck as he stood up straighter. “I’m great with virtues. All kinds of virtue. And with the right company…” He grinned, leaning forward. “My virtue is a lot easier to express.”

Kay’s smile very quickly widened at that. And Jessie rolled her eyes at them. “Alex…” she held a hand up. “Behave. And Kayla,” she pointed up at her friend. “I don’t think I need to remind you...”

Kayla gave her the most wide and innocent eyes and they flashed her emerald green irises perfectly for Alex, making him want to melt in surrender right then.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” She feigned, and that made him grin.

Jessie shook her head harder and laughed, as she took her arm and pulled her along with her stepping back out of Alex’s frame. “Come and say hi to everybody.”

Kayla reluctantly let her pull her along, but she of course couldn’t resist turning around to see Alex again, turning on his heel then, smirking and eyeing her from his direction. This party was going to be even more fun than she thought.

“Nice to meet you,” she waved with a flit of her fingers, and he found himself beaming even wider.

“The pleasure’s mine,” he saluted. Oh, the pleasure was absolutely his.


***
---

Jackie pulled the car into park and turned to Natalie, smiling. She turned to him and giving him a demure smile herself laid back in her seat, resting her hands on her belly.

“You ready?” he asked.

Before she could even answer the kids opened their car doors and excitedly climbed out, racing up the hill to the house. She turned back and started laughing.

“They’re ready,” she chuckled. Smiling down she grabbed her bags from the floor of the car and Jackie got out to go to her side, opening her door and pulling her out carefully as he took her bags from her. She graciously let him. They started walking down the path together, taking their time and moving leisurely, and as they were quiet her mind went back to the scene at the graphic Tee store, and how she came so close to telling him her feelings. She could feel her words brimming at the surface, she just needed a way for them to come out. She just had to let them out.

As they continued to move emotion swept through her, she thought of all the relationships that she’d had and how they’d never shown her the affection that Jackie showed her. He didn’t just tell her that he cared for her, he showed in everything that he did, he took care of her, treated her well. She had no doubt in her mind how she felt now, the telling butterflies whenever she saw him, the wave of affection that always swept over her when he was near. She knew how she felt now, she just needed to tell him. Could she tell him? Once upon a time she told herself that the only people that she ever loved were her girlfriends, and that was it. No man would ever win her heart again. She looked up at him and knew again that she’d been proven wrong. Somehow he’d broken into her heart and found the key. And she’d fallen again.

Jackie felt the weight of Natalie’s gaze as she watched him and he turned his head to her, catching her as she watched him. He smiled curiously and stopped, his hand on her hip stopping her too, and he looked into her eyes.

“Is something wrong?”

She shook her head, feeling the hard thumping of her heart as the air became thin and she used the little oxygen she had to suck in a breath and lift her hands to grab his face, pulling him forward.

His eyes were wide as he was stunned for a moment, and then instinctively they fell closed as he relaxed into her, lifting his hand to hold her by her neck and pull her into him. He pressed his lips harder against hers and she arched into him as a response, and just as quickly she pulled away, breaking their contact and dropping her hands to his chest.

For a moment he couldn’t move, and then he opened his heavy lids and looked at her, staring at him with a parted mouth now smeared with her lipstick.

He laughed low, lifting a hand up to her to wipe the rim of her mouth off. “Baby, your makeup,” he smirked.

“I love you,” she said.

He laughed again, wiping her lips and pulling his hand down when she was clean. “Ok you’re good now. How about me?” He smiled. And then he stopped.

She reached up and wiped his lips quick. “You look good,” she nodded. And then she dropped her hand and spun around.

He stood there with a slack jaw watching her walk away and up the path to the house, and he was frozen in his place, quickly refreshing over the words she just said. She just…did she just say…..

“Natalie,” he mouthed, hearing no sound come out. “Natalie,” he said louder, and she was already trudging far up the path. Then he started jogging. “Natalie wait!”

She’d already moved far up, for a pregnant woman she moved damn fast, and by the time he was close to reaching her she was clinbing up the steps to the door.

“Natalie--” he breathed out just as a bodyguard opened the door for her, letting her inside.


***

Jessie stood with her parents talking, while Michael stood beside them, watching her and Kayla tell a story as Alex watched on intently himself, focused on the brunette with attentive eyes.

Natalie walked inside and spotted everyone, stopping in her place breathless and heart still racing from the scene that she’d left behind. Joe and Marlon noticed her, and as their attention turned so did a few others.

“Nat’s here!” Marlon exclaimed.

That turned more people’s heads and got everyone’s attention as Jessie stopped mid-sentence to turn around and spot her. “Natalie!” she squealed.

Alex lost his breath at the sound of her name and turned around in his place, his mind shutting down as he held his breath and swiftly spun around to see her.

Oh my god…

She lifted a hand up and waved. “Hi everybody,” she breathed, seeing no one in particular, just glad she was here. And then Jackie strode in, breathless and chest heaving, looking around and quickly spotting her. His eyes were set on her and he strode forward not paying mind to anyone else as he grabbed her hand.

“Can I talk to you for a second?” he panted. She turned around to him regretfully, her heart beating faster again as she wordlessly and obligingly let him take her along and bring her back the opposite way down the hall and to the kitchen, leaving everyone looking on the living room, quiet and confused.

“What in the hell was that?” Joe said.

Jessie frowned in her own confusion, wondering herself what had just happened. She moved forward without thinking, wondering if her friend was ok, and Alex followed behind her, intent on finding her himself and processing what he just saw again. Michael followed on foot, and Kayla was right behind, curious and wondering what was going on.

Jackie pulled Natalie by her hand into the kitchen and spotted all the workers, seeing them and saying hi. Natalie waved to them, content to be doing anything but confronting Jackie, but in a second he would ruin that.

“How you doin,” he breathed out. “Can we have a minute? Just a minute,” he shook his head.

They hesitated for a second, but then obliged him as Mr. Jackson’s family and shuffled out together, leaving their posts stepping out of the room into the opposite hall, occupying themselves elsewhere.

Jackie turned back to Natalie, holding her hand up in his with a secure grip, not letting her run away. She swallowed what felt like a giant lump in her throat, looking at him with wide eyes and parted mouth, heart pounding as hard as ever.

“You---” he had to take a gulp of air himself. “You said something. What did you say?”

Her eyes flicked back and forth between his, looking eager and waiting and like they were going to burst out of his head with anxiousness.

“I said you looked good?” She breathed.

He shook his head hard, holding her hand closer to him and lightly shaking it. “No, before you said that.”

“I said thank you for taking my bags,” she squeaked in a tiny voice.

He gaped at her and then suddenly started laughing, reaching a hand out to her waist to pull her closer to him. “Don’t play with me Sugar, that’s not what you said. Come on,” he squeezed her. “Say it again. Please say it again,” he begged.

She stared at him for a moment, seeing the longing desire in his eyes. She was then tired of fighting it. She gave up. She gave up everything.

“I said I love you, old man,” she sighed.

He thought he would explode right then.

Jessie stood in the open doorway and gasped, and her hand flew up to cover her mouth as she did. Michael’s eyes went wide and mirrored Kayla’s expression as her mouth opened wide in a shocked and ecstatic expression. Alex still couldn’t believe his eyes.

“What?” Jackie breathed, knowing damn well that he heard what she said.

“You heard what I said fool,” she glared, pushing him by his chest. “I love you!” She held out her hands. “I love you, I love us and I love this damn baby even more, ok? I love all of it!”

Before he could even form a coherent thought next he grabbed her and pulled her in. Her hands flew up in the air as he crushed her lips with his, and she was silenced permanently. As was only a reflex with him, she went still and let him hold her, and she melted into his arms, her hands holding onto his waist.

Jess couldn’t take it. She started jumping up and down and hopped crazily on her legs and screamed, running from her spot to them and throwing her arms around them in an elated hug. Kayla followed and joined her, practically jumping them all and tipping them over as they startled and broke from their kiss, turning to both girls as they squealed in happiness for them.

Natalie’s mouth fell open and Jackie started laughing, while Natalie watched the girls in awe, still squealing and shouting their happiness for her. She shook her head and then started laughing herself, amused at the huge deal they made this to be. Turning back to see who else had seen them she spotted Michael, standing with crossed arms as he watched her.

Her face fell in that moment and she stared at him, and they held gazes for a moment while he held her under the weight of his eyes. And then suddenly, his lips spread into a smile.

His smile had reached his eyes by the time that she realized that he was doing it, and she smiled back at him happily.

He started walking towards them, joining in on the commotion as he grinned and gave her a hug, and she held him back, receiving his silent welcome and congratulations. Then he moved to Jackie, his brother who looked on top of the world. Jessie moved out of the way to let him hug Jackie with one arm as he held a steady hand on Kayla’s back, and Jackie patted him back.

“Congratulations Jackie,” he hummed contently. “You’ve got a good woman who loves you.”

“Thank you man,” he grinned.

Natalie smiled at them, still holding Jackie with one arm and the girls with her other. Then she looked back, knowing that she’d seen someone else where Michael was. She turned her head to see, and when she spotted him suddenly the world stopped.

Alex stared at her, not a muscle in his body moving. She dropped her hands completely from everyone and moved to face him, all air gone from her as she stood stunned, not believing what she saw before her eyes.

She was beautiful, as beautiful as ever…her face full with the gracious weight that also filled her belly, her eyes that he knew as being tight and worn from her anger were melted away. Here were eyes that were bright, and glowing with what he knew, and now witnessed, as happiness and love. Her skin glowed with the life that shared hers, and her presence glowed with it. Natalie was finally happy.

Her eyes burned and her throat was tight, and they watered right before him, as she took short tight breaths. She knew that face anywhere. She knew those eyes, and she knew that smile.
His throat wrenched and his eyes stung, and amidst it he beamed for her. He simply smiled because he saw his world before his eyes.

“Hey Natty,” he whispered.

She let out a helpless sound and next second she was rushing to him, and he held out his arms as she tumbled into his arms, letting out a muffled cry.

The girls had turned and Jackie and Michael looked up, and saw Natalie as she buried herself into the other man’s arms. He wrapped his hands around her tight, almost crushing her against him until he felt the bump of her belly protruding into his. He pulled his waist back from hers to give her space but that was the only movement she would allow, as she wrung her arms around his neck tighter and pressed her face more into him, sobbing into his skin. He wrung his arms around her ribcage, lifting his hand to the back of her head and holding her while he turned his head and kissed her repeatedly, tears freely running down his face.

“I fucking love you, you hear me?” He choked into her ear.

She nodded her head hard into him, muted by her tears, and she cried harder.

“I love you so much,” he promised her. “I love you.”

Nat had started gasping between sounds, and it had made Jessie start tearing up herself covering her mouth as her own tears fell, and Kayla’s eyes that started watering at this amazing moment before her. Michael watched on in surprise, being shocked yet again by Nat and her behavior. She was truly as soft as ever lately. Jackie watched in confusion and unease, wondering what was going on.

“Who’s---who’s that?” He frowned, feeling himself get defensive as he moved forward.

Jessie held a hand out to him as she stopped him, assuring him. “That’s Alex.”

He looked at her. “Alex?” He looked back up at the man holding his girl, holding her so tightly as they embraced. He remembered him now, Alex. Natalie’s Alex.

He watched them and as his worry and jealousy slowly disappeared his happiness for her took its place. She was with her dear friend again. He stood back and smiled, happy for them.

Suddenly people started bustling into the room, and they all looked to see that it was the family, looking puzzled, worried and curious at the same time.

“What’s going on in here?” Jermaine asked, the baby still in his arms. “We heard someone scream?”

Alex turned to see all of them as they filed inside, and still held Natalie as she paid them no mind, still burrowed into him.

Jackie grinned at them, holding a hand up. “She loves me!”

People frowned for a second, and then Marlon realized what he meant as his eyes lit. “You mean she said it??”

He nodded, his broad grin revealing everything to him.

“Aww YEAH man!” He cheered. Katherine gasped, “Oh my goodness!”

Brandy popped in between Rebbie and Taryll as she heard and hopped up and down. “Yay!!” She clapped, and with that everyone started cheering themselves.

Natalie heard everyone applauding and moved her head back, eyes tear-stained as she looked and startled at the sight. Everyone had crowded into the large kitchen, watching them. They were all rooting and cheering, and she slowly pulled her arms from Alex starting at them, wiping her eyes. She saw Brandi and Siggy beaming and clapping amidst them and looked to Jackie, who was smiling blissfully her way. She smirked back at him, an arm still around Alex’s waist as she looked back to the family, and saw Jessica’s parents looking at her, looking proud themselves. Her eyes lit up and she waved eagerly, and Valerie’s eyes softened as she walked forward to meet her. It was only then that Nat dropped her hand from Alex’s waist, and left him to go to her, and as she enveloped her in a hug Christian joined, wrapping his arms around them both.

While everyone cheered for them Jessie watched in awe, seeing the moment before her, so many people so happy and supportive of Natalie. Her heart swelled up for her, seeing all of family and loved ones encircling her, sharing her moment.

Natalie wasn’t alone at all. Besides herself and Kay, she had a whole family of her own that was there for her and there to share in her good times. And in that moment she felt surer than ever of her decision to keep quiet of her own special news, knowing it was the right choice to make. Here Natalie was, sharing a beautiful moment with everyone, finally having the spotlight for herself like she deserved. Natalie was having her own shining moment, with the people who knew and cared, and each of them was there to witness it. Jess smiled, letting out a dreamy and content breath, going to Michael and moving her arms around his waist, resting her head against him as he brought his arm up to hold her back. This family day was already by far, the best.

They said it wouldn't last
We had to prove them wrong
Cause I've learned in the past
That love will never do without you

Chapter 116

Natalie knew that if she didn’t get away from the mirror soon and Jackie found her here, in the same spot where he’d left her an hour ago, he’d kill her.

But she had to check one more time.

She turned to the side and back to the front, smoothing her clothes all around her, fixing her jewelry on her hands and wrists, and smoothing out her hair. She checked her hair one more time, noting that today was one of her very good days as far as that. She’d straightened it out so it fell in long slick tresses down her back, and she’d pinned up the front to give her an almost bohemian look added from her flowery and earthy-colored top. She suddenly stood back and realized that she hadn’t straightened her hair in such a long time. It had been weeks, actually. Ever since the time of Jackie telling her that he loved her hair in its waves she’d kept it that way, not even realizing that she’d kept the hairstyle for so long for his pleasure.

Who would have thought that Natalie Smith would do anything out of her way to please a man?

She shook her head and laughed out loud and checked her makeup one last idle time before stepping back from the mirror and finally pulling herself away from the trance. It was time to go. She turned towards the open door of her room and called out. “Brandi!”

She waited, with no answer. “Brandi! Can you come in here please?”

She decided against calling her again, assuming that her speech was lost against the blaring TV in the living room. She walked through the hallway where she knew the kids were on the couch, surprisingly joined by Kayla.

“Kay,” she called, figuring she may as well use her help, but then she noticed Kayla’s appearance. Disheveled.

Kayla turned her head to notice Natalie, barely moving in her fluffy pink bathrobe, her newly dyed brown hair in mashed waves around her head, not nearly styled at all. She wore no makeup on her face, her eyes and skin bare as ever and her pajamas clearly were still on under the heavy robe. She simply was not ready.

Kay’s eyes widened at the sight of her girlfriend in open admiration. She looked great. Natalie’s eyes widened for a whole other reason.

“Wow girl, you look great,” she crooned.

“Kay!” Nat blurted with a hand out, “Why aren’t you ready??”

“Cause I’m not going with you guys,” she said simply.

“Why not??”

“Cause I’m waiting on a certain boyfriend---soon to be EX-boyfriend, to call me,” her lips pursed with her square expression, clearly telling more of a story than her words said.

Natalie stood there for a frozen pausing moment, and then finally dropped her hand. “So Braden’s taking you then?”

“I don’t know Nat,” Kay shook her head. “I’m waiting for his call so he can tell me whether he’s going or not so I can know if I can leave. God, I’m about up to here with him,” she gestured. “He’s being such a jacka---”

“—Ok,” she cut her off before she could finish the word in front of the kids. Lord knew that they probably knew all types of swear words of their own, but she still wouldn’t be held responsible that language being used in front of them and having it travel back to Dad. He already knew that she swore enough. “Ok, well…are you sure that he’s coming then? I mean it’s kinda late. Are you sure that you wanna wait for him anymore?”

“I’m just giving him one last chance,” she said. “I know he had work this morning and said that he was taking his mom shopping, so I’m giving him that, and I don’t want him blaming me if I leave and go without him. But I swear, if he stands me up again it’s over,” she held a dainty finger up to the air.

Before Nat could answer she heard the doorbell ring frantically, and then she turned her head to see the doorway up from where she was as she heard the faint clicks of the keyhole being turned. Jackie. He was letting them know it was time to go.

“Jackie’s here,” she said out loud, looking to the kids to make sure they at least looked ready. “You guys ready to go?”

“Yeah,” they replied in sync, voices droned from the focus on the TV. She turned her head to catch Jackie as he entered in through the door and walked up the stairs long legs lumbering up the steps as he reached the top and then spotted her, a little breathless as he reached a hand out to her waist and looked out to the kids on the loveseat.

“Everybody ready to go?” He spotted Kayla as he said it and noticed her appearance too. “Hey Kayla. You’re not comin?”

She turned to him and raised a waving hand. “You guys go ahead; I’ll meet up with you.”

He paused amidst a confused frown. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” she waved again, eyes still on the TV. “I’ll see you there.”

“Ok…” he said, still unsure, but Natalie tugged on his wrist suggestively as she moved to pull him away and he got the hint. “OK guys, come on let’s go. Everybody up.”

Reluctantly the kids got up from their seat, almost begrudgingly saying bye to Kay as they moved away and she promised that she’d see them later, and they passed Nat and Jackie trudging down the steps to the front door, putting themselves ahead in the race for them to leave the house. Natalie moved ahead with Jackie and then remembered her purse and stopped mid-movement.

“Oh!” She exclaimed softly. “My purse. I forgot my purse.” She let go of Jackie’s hand to turn in the hallway to head to her room, and as she heard the front door open she felt a hand snake out and grab her arm from behind, startling her from her movement.

“Wait,” his voice said with his grip.

She turned her head to look behind her, and saw Jackie’s dark eyes looking into her hers, then going down her body and looking her over, possessively and intensely, before meeting her eyes again. Then suddenly he closed in, sealing his mouth over hers as she raised her hand up instinctively to hold him by the waist, her eyes fluttering closed.

When he pulled back she was breathless.

“You look great,” he hummed.

She watched him for a moment as her eyes cleared, and then her smile spread, and she was giving him glinting eyes as she walked back and turned around, going into her room to grab her purse and her gift bag, coming back to meet him in the hallway with all that she needed.

“Ok,” she told him, voice even softer now thanks to his sweetness. “We can go.”

He smiled at her, and took her gently by the elbow, leading her down the stairs and walking her out of the door as they both said bye to Kay huddled at the TV.

“Have fun kids,” she waved back. Right now they were the only ones who would be having a good time.


***


“I just gotta make one stop before we get there…” Jackie turned the wheel with one hand while he held Natalie’s fingers in his with the other. She had wondered why he was taking a different road, but decided not to say anything about it. She would just let her man drive. She lay back in the seat as he drove, now knowing the reason and fine with it, just waiting until they eventually arrived at Neverland.

“Where are you going?” Siggy asked from the backseat.

“Just gotta give something to Denise.”

“Denise, huh?” You could just hear Siggy’s sly smirk from the back. “Hot Denise?”

Nat’s ears perked up at that.

“You’re funny, boy,” Jackie laughed, finally arriving at the open lot and putting the car into park. “Stay here with your sister. I’m gonna be quick.”

Nat turned her head to him as he let go of her hand to pull the stick for brakes. He finally turned to her nodding, “I’ll be right back.”

She barely had time to respond, or question who this “hot Denise” was before he turned and grabbed the manila envelope from his side and climbed out of the car. She watched him as he walked out, and then watched in growing interest as he walked up to a woman in her thirties, wearing dress pants and a frilly top, long hair that had to be extensions curled into feathered waves around her shoulders and down her back. She watched Jackie grinning wide and going over to hug her, and the girl’s expression looked just as pleased.

“Damn,” Siggy grunted, and it only helped grow Natalie’s interest in this strange woman talking to her boyfriend.

“You’re gross,” Brandi muttered.

“You can’t honestly sit there and tell me that you don’t think she’s fly.”

“Shut up, Siggy,” she bit, but Natalie heard it all the same. And as she took in a slow and silent breath she watched them conversing on the street, both seeming light and animated and friendly around each other.

“Who is she?” she finally asked.

“She’s one of dad’s co-producers. She works with him at the studio,” Siggy answered. “She’s worked with Uncle Mike too.”

Natalie held her stomach idly and watched them on the street, the woman apparently had said something funny because now Jackie was stepping back and laughing, his eyes crinkling at the sides. Looked like she was one comedian, she was able to make him laugh like that.

He finally handed the envelope to her and explained what was inside, and she nodded her head in understanding, ad then it seemed they were caught up in another conversation again, back to all smiles and laughs together.

“He’s taking so long,” Brandi finally complained. “We’re gonna be late!”

“Go call him then,” Siggy pointed. “He ain’t never gonna leave on his own.”

Natalie bit her teeth together, her arms crossed and mouth terse.

“He said not to come out,” Brandi frowned, and Siggy groaned with clear impatience. Jackie truly didn’t look like he was going anywhere anytime soon, and now Natalie wanted them to move along also. And more than anything she wanted Jackie and his little friend to finish their conversation so he could get back here. After a few delayed seconds, she dropped her jaw and took a calm breath. “I’ll get him.”

The kids both looked to the front as she uncrossed her arms and went to the door and unlocked it. “You guys stay here,” she told them. They looked on wordlessly, not knowing what to say.

She stepped out and closed the door behind her, walking out in a determined line, hips slightly wavering with the new swaying weight pushing down against her hips. It was when she began to reach them that she noticed a cameraman to the far end by a set of tables, standing and taking pictures of them. She reached them and it wasn’t until she moved to his side that she took the attention of the woman, who turned her head and looked at her, her smile wavering for a curious second.

“Baby,” Nat said clearly, making sure that the woman heard it, “We should get going, we’re gonna be late.”

He turned his smile to her and it grew wider and he reflexively stretched his arm out to go around her waist. “You’re right. We should go.”

Nat turned her eyes back to the woman giving her a demure smile and reaching her arm up hold a hand on her stomach. The movement tactfully brought the woman’s eyes to look down and see a prominent roundness under her loose shirt, and Natalie caught the slight widening of her eyes at the sight.

“Denise,” Jackie held his free hand out to show, “This is Natalie. And this,” he looked down for emphasis, “Is our son.”

She stared for a second longer before raising her gaze up again and she looked Natalie in the eyes, noticing her youngness and her clearly attractive features. “So you’re Natalie,” she said through her smile, fighting to keep it strong. “I’ve heard so much about you,” she nodded.

You’d better have… “Nice to meet you,” she smiled sweetly.

“Nice to meet you too,” she told her.

Natalie kept her smile going, looking the woman up and down without making it obvious as she noticed her attractive features and nice smile. So this woman worked side by side with Jackie, eh? She watched her closely when suddenly she caught movement at the corner of her eyes, and her gaze moved over to see a few other photographers to their far right, with large cameras taking several photos after another together. Her smile faded as she looked away, turning to Jackie and lifting a hand to his waist as she said low, “We need to get out of here.”

He turned to look at her and she nodded her head to the direction of the paparazzi, and with that he had the stark realization that this was the third time she was being photographed with him in public. The press was catching on.

He looked up to Denise quickly, giving her a quick flash of an apologetic smile. “We really gotta get going, but yeah, read my notes and call me if you have any questions about it.” He’d already started backing away and taking Natalie with him, and she fought to keep her eyes away from looking at the cameraman again as they inched closer for more shots.

“Alright,” Denise held a hand up, and looked to Natalie, “Pleasure to meet you Natalie.” It was only half-sincere as she felt any flickering hope die with seeing how gorgeous his baby’s mama was.

“Bye,” Nat waved, and Jackie turned her around, walking them to the car as he held her hand across the lot.

As they were walking to the Cadillac she turned to him. “You saw them right? The guys with the cameras?”

“Yeah I saw,” he said low. They didn’t say anymore as he walked her to her side of the car, knowing that the men were following them and taking insistent pictures now putting all the pieces together as they moved. He got her inside and walked to his end and climbed in, and as he locked the door and buckled up his mind raced quickly for a game plan. This was a big deal.

Natalie sat back, her heart beating in fear and worry, not sure what this means, and not sure what to do. She stared out at the men nearing closer and before they took another step the car revved, and Jackie pulled out of the driveway, circling out and driving fast out onto the road.

She sat still and silently, thinking and think before— “They recognized me.”

Jackie drove in silence, still thinking himself.

“They’re gonna put it all together,” she turned to him.

“Put what together?” Siggy asked.

“It’ll be fine, it’s alright,” Jackie said. “We’ll figure this out.”

“Figure out what?” Siggy prodded.

Suddenly she saw it all, the rumors, the stories and headlines about her. She could vividly remember Jess and all she went through, losing her privacy overnight, being barraged with reporters everyday and hearing story after malicious story of her every night. And now what would they call her, seeing her with Jackie and suddenly pregnant with his child? The friend of Michael Jackson’s wife goes to snag the next best brother? Friend after gold-digging friend targets the Jacksons one by one? Oh god she thought she’d be sick.

“Don’t do that,” Jackie saw her wheels turning and he squeezed her leg warning her. “Don’t start freaking.”

She scoffed at him. “I’m not freaking.”

“Well you’re about to, I can see. We’ll figure it out, baby we’ll tell Mike and the family and we’ll all figure it out together.”

“Can somebody please tell us what’s going on??” Siggy said annoyedly.

Jackie finally answered him, “There were paparazzi outside, and they took pictures of me and Nat back there. We think they recognized her as Jessie’s friend.”

“You think they’re gonna start hounding her now?” He caught on quick.

“I don’t know,” he said low. “I really don’t. We’ll figure it out, Nat,” he turned to her, seeing the growing worry in her eyes. She didn’t say anything, her mind was focused on the thought of how her life just may be over as she knew it. She couldn’t let them ruin her life as they did Jess’s.

Jackie kept glancing at her nervously, eyes flicking over to her every millisecond. Her silence was too much, and even when he moved his hand over to hold hers her hold was unresponsive.

“Nat,” he squeezed her thigh, and when she finally turned around to him all he saw was resignation, emptiness. Distance.

Oh no. Not this, not today. He wasn’t taking it.
He sped the car out faster, driving off to another corner of the road, and finally pulling over with a sudden stop. Nat turned her head to him with woven brows, wondering what he was doing. Why was he stopping the car again?

He put the car in park and get out suddenly, and she started at the suddenness of it. What on earth? She watched him walk around the car over to her side, pulling her door open and leaning down to hold a hand out to her. She stared at him like he held a knife out to her.
“Can you step out with me for a second, so we can talk?”

Still she stared at him.

“Please,” he asked her, and matched it with the pleading in his eyes.

Jackie held a persistent hand to her and she watched him so warily, not sure if she should follow him. She wondered if she should trust him and his sudden actions but thought better of it, knowing that this was Jackie who she sat before, and he’d proved time and time again that he wouldn’t hurt her. Not physically, anyways. After a second of thinking she gave him a curious look, and then sighed and started to get out of her seat. “Fine,” she said low.

“Hey! That ain’t fair!” Siggy exclaimed. “We wanna know too!”

Jackie ignored his son and helped her unbuckle her seatbelt and held it out of the way of her while he helped lift her out of her seat, and she followed him to the sidewalk, moving down a paved path to a Graphic tee shop that lay right next to a public park, where many people were out and about and already enjoying the weather together early this day. He thought it could help that they were in a busy place. At least there were a lot of others around so they could be less recognized here.

He held her hand tenderly as he found the shop and took her inside, and calmly walked her to the back in front of trays and racks of bright t-shirts with all kinds of brands and logos and designs on them. As her eyes scanned the place he led her closer to a far corner where they could be hidden, and finally turned around, still holding her fingers in his and now taking hold of her other hand.

He looked straight into her eyes with intent, their matching height allowing full contact so she could see the full force of his pleading gaze.

“Please don’t shut down on me,” he said.

She started at that, her brows wrinkling in confusion and her mouth gaping open in offense. “I’m not shutting down...”

He simply continued. “I know you’re scared about the papz seeing us and I know you’re scared about ending up like Jess, but I promise that everything’s gonna be ok.”

She froze, stunned that he’d known that it was what she was thinking. “I—I wasn’t shutting down.”

He finally shook his head and chuckled. “Natalie, I’ve known you too well for too long now not to know when you start getting that look in your eyes and start pulling away from me. And I will be damned if after how deep I’m in for you, I let you walk away cause of some wacky photographers running you off.”

She was surprised into silence. She didn’t know what to say.

“I don’t want you to leave me because you’re afraid that you’re gonna lose your lifestyle. I would never want to cause you that. But I do know that at this point I’m too deep in and too selfish to let you go. I’m crazy about you and that hasn’t changed. I don’t want it to change.”

“I…” she thought of an excuse to make, and fought against it. He was right, he knew her too well and right now she was too tired to try to save her pride and argue with him. “I just don’t wanna lose my life the way I see Jessie did with Michael. Her life completely changed. She has no privacy,” she shook her head.

Jackie nodded his head to her. He understood that.

“She can’t even cross the street without it making news,” she raised a hand. “It’s already hard enough on her. And I know that when I’m with her I get attention too, but at least I know that I’m forgotten two seconds later when I’m by myself. But now if they recognize me as her friend AND your girlfriend and know that I’m pregnant with your child and the wed-lock nephew of Michael Jackson I can’t even imagine what they’re gonna say about it. About me! They won’t leave us alone, Jackie. They’re gonna treat us the same way they do Jess and Michael--” she shook her head hard, the horrible possibilities running through her mind again. Paparazzi hiding in bushes and trees, stalking them to the restaurants, following them into public places All her independence would be gone just like Jess. Her identity, her privacy, her dignity…She couldn’t handle it…she didn’t want to…

“I know,” he nodded, rubbing her arms. “Baby, I know. I don’t want to have to deal with this either but I promise you, everything will be ok. We’ll be fine.”

He watched her, staring so unsurely at him, the worry still etched in her eyes along with the fear. “I really don’t know what else to say other than we’re gonna have to talk with Michael about this. See if he thinks it’s something to worry about or not. But to be honest, I think we’ll be okay.”

She looked up at him and searched his eyes. “And why do you think that?”

“Well,” He stood up closer against her, running his thumbs over her fingers. Suddenly he was smirking, and pulling her closer. “For one thing, I’m not Michael. And you ain’t Jess.”

She frowned, wondering what on earth that was supposed to mean. “….Yeah and?”

“And…because I’m not him, we don’t have to worry about half the problems that he and she do. We won’t be bothered like they are. And I really don’t think we’re gonna have to hide out from them. We can’t change the fact that they saw us together and most likely put the pieces together too; they’re nosy as hell so I’m guessing that they will. But even if they know who you are and what you are to me, I don’t think we’ll lose all our privacy. Not like Mike at least.” He stopped in a moment of sad reverence for his brother, really thinking of it and the misery of it. How Michael lived in his fishbowl of a world because it was all that he could have. And how Jessie changed her world to be with him and live the same. But they still made it through that, and they were ok together, and so would he and Natalie be. “You know… I think we’re the lucky ones in this thing. We don’t have much to worry about. And if anything, if they do bother you, you know that you’ve got a big strong handsome man to protect you anyway. So you’ll be happy either way.”

She stopped; stared openly and then suddenly started laughing, shaking her head. She couldn’t help it. Something about this big oaf always did that to her. He always knew how to make her feel better. And plus, that had to be one of the cheesiest things he’s ever said.

“I promise,” he nodded, “That we’ll be ok. Those guys have never been a big problem for me so I don’t think they’ll bother you too much either, but if they know that you’re connected to Jess then it might be a different story, but I don’t see why they would bother you too. I don’t know. We’ll ask Mike though.”

She searched his eyes and all she found was safety within them. She knew that he would protect her, and be there how she needed him to. Call it naiveté, call it being hopelessly fallen deep for him, but knew she could believe every word he said.

“Ok,” she nodded.

He watched her closely with his smile and rose a questioning brow. “Ok?”

She nodded.

“That’s it?” He prodded, his mouth creeping into a grin. “No arguing, you’re just agreeing with me? That’s it? Ok?”

“What,” she rose an amused brow herself. “You want me to argue with you? Cause I have a lot that I can still say about it,” she held a hand out on her hip and he started laughing loudly with his joy.

“No,” he said quick and with feeling. “No no no…I’m fine with your answer.” He leaned down and held her face planting a kiss on her forehead, and then flew down to her lips, and it was like the tingles that she felt reached down to the baby, cause he gave her a happy kick in response.

She laughed at that and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him in an embrace. He was certainly happy now.

“And speaking of things to say,” she started, suddenly remembering what had been in her mind the remainder of the car ride.

“Oh no,” he groaned, suddenly regretful that he’d even joked about it.

“I just wanna know,” she squared her eyes at him, “I just wanna know about that Denise girl.”

“Denise that you just met? She’s one of my producers,” he told her.

“Well I never heard about her before now.” She started the questioning, and he slowly caught onto it.

“That’s because I’ve never mentioned her name. I’ve got lots of producers that I work with.” Suddenly the light bulb flicked off in his head, and he started watching her closely, as he baited. “She’s cool, right?”

“I just met her,” she gave him the haughty look that he was searching for. “But it seems like she’s real cool with you...” And the look she gave was everything. “I bet she’s really cool with you.”

He laughed, holding his hands around her arched back and pulling her so her belly was against his. “She’s a nice girl.”

“Mhm,” she squinted at him. “I’m sure she is.”

He couldn’t contain his grin with her, and she could see it clear as he held her. “You don’t have nothing to worry about Natalie. There’s nothing going on with me and her.”

She bit her inner lip and looked at him with the full weight of her eyes as she didn’t know what to say. He’d basically said what she’d needed to hear. But still.

“She clearly thinks there is though,” she shook her head and he laughed again. “Clearly she likes you. And I don’t know…I don’t know how I feel about my man working with another woman so closely every day. And while I’m home all alone wondering.”

“You’re not alone,” he told her, still beaming. “You’re with Kay.”

“Alone without YOU, I mean,” she glared, and of course there went his laughter again.

He grinned and leaned down to her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “You don’t have to worry about Denise,” he told her. “Because these eyes are only for you.”

“Mhm,” she rolled her eyes. “They’d better be. Don’t think I know about your track history Jackie, I know you used to play games. But know this; if you ever try and cheat on me don’t think I won’t pull an Enid on you. How’s your leg been since then?” She asked coyly.

“Oh,” He groaned and winced at the reminder of a decade ago when he’d had an affair with and Enid had found out and taken spited matters into her own hands. He’d been crippled for the rest of the Victory tour thanks to her revenge, and grievingly had to let his brothers go on without him while he healed. It hurt whenever he thought about it.

“I’m certainly not beyond that if you do that to me,” she told him with victory in her eyes.

He looked at her, the pained look still in his gaze. “I know you’re not.”

“Good,” she nudged him sternly, giving him the force of her threatening eyes. She knew his track record with women. And she told him in the beginning that she wouldn’t tolerate cheating on her. She meant it still. And then her eyes truly watched him, and suddenly they were weak. “Don’t hurt me, Jackie. I don’t think I could take it again.”

His face fell, and he reached up to frame her face in his hands. “Nat,” he whispered, pulling her closer. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I promise. I know I was an idiot in the past but I promise, I would never, could never hurt you that way. I love you.”

She held him by wrists as he held her, and her eyes searched his, her heart beating faster as she felt it, she felt the words coming.

“Do you?” She said instead. Coward.

“Of course I do,” he smiled sweetly, brushing her cheek with his fingertips. “I love you and I would do anything for you and for son.”

“Good,” her voice was shaky between words. He lifted her chin and smiled down into her face, and she felt it deep within her, the words that wanted to come out, that were waiting for release.

He smirked and turned around, taking her hand in his and pulling her gently by their hold out of the aisle. They spotted a couple of baseball caps on the way, and decided to pick one up and buy it for Michael. Jackie commented on how it seemed like something he would wear on one of his ‘incognito’ trips. Nat laughed agreeing, and as they paid and walked out of the store she felt the overwhelming emotions again, and tugged on his hand to make him stop.

He turned around with his surprised gaze, and looked to her, with her unsure look as she was thinking.

“Jackie I---”

She saw several people leaving the store walking by her, and several people coming in, and as concentration was broken so was her will. She couldn’t say it here, not in a shop, not in public, and not now.

“Nevermind,” she shook her head.

He rose a curious brow, but then his smile widened as she walked ahead with him and made their way back to the car, and back to the party.

And still the phantom words rang in her head, still unsaid. And the word “coward” rang even louder.

***
---

After all was said and done…after a lot was done, of course we went to go shower again and change. After all that we did there was no way that her dress would not have come out unharmed, or at least smelling guilty as I knew my clothes did. I changed too, and grabbed my other pair of pants and shirt that I had. You wouldn’t even have noticed that I’d been loved up and down thoroughly and needed to change because of it. Jess however, showed how completely she’d turned around when she came out with a tiny one-pieced outfit that turned into shorts at her waist and was thin strapped at the top, the color a red only a shade brighter than my shirt and tall bright red shoes that she called wedges. They gave her about three inches of height next to me, so we didn’t have as drastic of a height difference when we stood together.

She walked up to me, combing out her straight hair while her eyes were on the ground. I paused and watched her, still not sure what to make of her completely changing her look. Today was her party, her celebration…and she was only wearing that?

“Damn,” she muttered and stopped at my feet. “My hair already got so tangled. Good thing I was on top or it would have been much worse than this.” She smoothed her hair out over her shoulders and flipped it out, finally looking up at me with her bright eyes. “How do I look?”

I took in her appearance again, and said the only thing on my mind. “Why aren’t you wearing a dress?”

She stared at me, her brows crinkling with her unsettled face. “What are you talking about?”

“Your dress,” I pointed up at her. “Why didn’t you grab another dress to wear?”

“Because I wanna be comfortable,” she held her hands out. “What’s wrong with this?”

I shook my head, “Nothing’s wrong with it, I just thought that since it was your party you might want to wear something that stands out more. Something more…” I waved my hands trying to find the words.

“Flashy?” She nodded with raised brows. I paused in my movement and stared. I wasn’t going to say that much….but…

“Yeah,” I shrugged.

She watched me for a second and with a look she shook her head, scoffing before she turned her head away glancing in the mirror on our right. “If you’re dressing casual, then I’m dressing casual. I’m not prancing around our family by myself. I’ll look stupid if I’m the only one dressed up.”

Now it was my turn to give her a look, and I walked up closer to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her to me. “You could never look stupid. You look amazing in everything that you wear.”

She hummed under her breath with a smile, leaning into me as I slid my arm around her, kissing her temple as she watched her reflection.

“And since today’s a big day, don’t you wanna wear something special to match it?”

She laughed, and I smiled, even though I didn’t really know what the joke was. And then she told me.

“You’ll never stop trying to dress me up.”

My face fell, and I frowned at her.

“I’m wearing this, and there’s nothing you can do about it.” She smoothed her hands down the sides of it and slid her hands into the pockets at her waist, pulling them out quickly to drop her hands at her sides. “I’m not your doll, babe. I swear you forget that sometimes,” she murmured, and laughed again, and it was a fuller sound as she turned to me and held my arms, smirking slyly. “Maybe we should have a girl,” she shook her head. “It’ll give me a break.”

And as that statement gave me a hard pang of excitement, she moved up to me and tightened her arms around my own waist as she looked up at me, smiling sweetly as she glanced up, her lips almost level to mine.

“Tell you what, if you wear something flashy, I will too.”

I eyed her. “I already changed. And I’m comfortable with what I have on now.”

“So am I,” she shrugged. “I’m very comfortable with this.”

“But it’s your party,” I reminded her.

“It’s your party too,” she bumped me with her hip. “And it’s also your baby. Thus, it’s equally your special occasion.”

Ok…I got that, but—“I’m not changing.”

“Then neither am I,” she shrugged, too calmly.

I searched her nonchalant eyes for a moment and didn’t know what to say. “Woman,” I frowned. “Would you let me flaunt you just once?”

She laughed at that, and it made me smile as she turned her body into mine so we were side by side again, and she looked at herself again in the mirror, as I looked at her. She really did look so beautiful…no matter what she wore. She moved away from me to go to the dresser quickly, bending down to pick up her hair tie from the ground. The movement tightened the pansuit suit around her waist, exposing more of her legs and thighs and leaving nothing above it to the imagination for me. Oh man…

“You’re right,” I said without thinking. “That outfit’s perfect on you. Don’t change.”

She stood up and looked back at me with a surprised expression, and when she saw my face she stopped and smirked at it. I returned the expression as she came to me again and held onto my side, going back to look forward into the mirror again next to me. I held her against me, letting her watch herself, keeping my eyes away from looking at my own face. I already knew that what I would see, I wouldn’t like.

She nodded. “I think we look fine just the way we are.”

I smiled at her words, and finally looked at the mirror to see what she saw too. We were both matching perfectly in our red, her body wedged into mine as we held each other, perfect contrasts of our skin color. We really did look good like this.

“We match too,” I grinned.

“Of course we do,” she teased, pulling my hand from her waist to lace her fingers into mine. “And…can I be conceited, for just a moment?”

I paused, turning to look at her wondering what she meant.

“We look pretty damn good together too,” she added.

I laughed at her cuteness. “Yes we do.”

“I mean,” she held a hand up, “Let’s be realistic here. We look good in general. But together…wow.” She turned back to look at us in the reflection, and the uncovered admiration was clear in her face. “We are two good-looking people. If I may say so myself.”

That made me giggle harder. Completely ignoring the falseness of her statement about me, if anything, Jess never tried to play down her own confidence. She looked good, and she knew it. It was what I loved most about her.

“We should go downstairs,” she finally said, and I agreed fully. “We’ll show off our good-looking-ness to everyone else.”

---

We trotted down the stairs together, and as we got to the bottom we passed one of the workers just coming up to do work in one of the rooms upstairs. Michael nodded his head at him in a salute, and as I said hi to him I nearly fell from Michael bumping my hip, making me stagger as we moved inside. I started laughing loud, hearing the man’s laughter behind me and hip-bumping Michael back for revenge as he dodged away, still not letting go of my hand but moving a good distance so that I couldn’t catch him. Well…he wasn’t letting go of our hold, which meant that I still was close and could come closer. I shuffled sideways trying to bump him and he giggled and moved out, and suddenly it was an awkward crab movement of me holding his hand tight and following him as he dodged me, and us just laughing and looking like idiots in the living room.

Chamia came out from the kitchen towards us in our movements and I didn’t miss the quizzical expression on her face, before she shook that expression off calling us trying to get our attention. Too bad we were too far into our game.

“Mr. Jackson…”

Michael was laughing so loud and obnoxiously that you could barely hear her over his voice, and I was too far in to stop myself so I was pretty guilty too.

“Mr. Jackson, Jessie—“

Michael did a slick move where he used his other hand and took my waist, bumping me and jumping back before I could even get a hit on him. It actually made me mad.

“You butthead,” I huffed, stumbling over to try and get him. He was just laughing hysterically at me.

“Mr. Jackson---” Chamia said hurriedly, but we still pretty much ignored her in our game of bumper cars, human body edition. Still she didn’t give up trying. “Your father---Mr. Jackson your father is--”

“---Even now that you’re married, you still ain’t grown up.”

That voice. That tone….stopped us dead in our tracks. Michael dropped my hand like a hot potato as I whipped my head up, and mid-motion froze.

Joe Jackson.

“Your father is here.” With eyes that said that she tried to help us out, Chamia gave us a knowing look, but now it was too late for warnings, and we were on our own.

My eyes flicked back to Joe, coming further out from the livingroom edge to finally stand in front of us, a raised brow and smirk on his face under his grey hat.

“Yall act like you surprised to see me,” he laughed. At least it seemed like it was laughing. Sometimes you couldn’t tell with Joe, whether he was being sarcastic or playing. Or both. “You did invite me didn’t you?” Both. Definitely both.

“Joseph.” Michael’s voice, the playful tenor that it was only a few minutes ago had gone a grave and soft pitch, and his whole demeanor matched it. His body was stiff as stone, his back edge straight and unmoving.

“Hi Joseph,” I cut in before he could say anything further. I made a move to go to him, hugging him while Michael hopefully gathered himself. “You’re the first one here,” I said.

“How you doin,” he patted my back, a very gentle gesture, not matching the face that seemed almost hostile at first glance. I pulled back and stepped on my heels, holding my arms together and glancing at Michael who seemed to have blanched, his face ghost pale, body so still that he’d barely be noticed, eyes so wide that the whole iris of them showed. He hadn’t even had time to mentally prepare for Joseph’s arrival. Normally he needed a minute or two to do that, but now he was taken by surprise.

“Well boy--” he looked at him, raising his brows with hands out, an expression that eerily matched Michael’s whenever he did the same. “You gonna stand there or you gonna say hi to me?”

Michael didn’t need any more prodding. He moved forward, step by stiff-moving step, and moved in to hold his hand out and shake his father’s hand. Joe obliged and they held hands for a moment, before they moved in and wrapped their free arms around each other, an awkward, attempt at being warm gesture. They were trying to be closer. They were working on it.

“Is Mother here?” Michael said it before even letting go. I don’t even think he meant to make it clear that he wished she were there instead of him but to me it showed, and I think it did for Joseph too.

“She’s still at the house with the kids. I came here first because I was closer. Why, you ain’t happy to see me?” He gave that smirk, that teasing smirk, but it was clear that he knew who his son preferred. Michael didn’t respond to it. He didn’t take the bait.

“Of course we’re happy to see you Joe,” I told him, smiling and shaking my head. “You’re here so we can celebrate.”

He smiled and Michael was still quietly there, still pulling himself together.

“So Katherine’s still at the house?” I told him, making conversation while in my head wishing for Michael to hurry up with saving face.

“Yeah,” he gestured towards the door like they were out there. “They’re coming with Jermaine and the kids.”

“Ok,” I nodded. “That’s perfect. Well while you’re here do you want anything to drink? We’ll make something for you.”

“Uh,” his voice drawled, matching his normally stern-looking face. “A scotch. That’s it.” He went quiet, then his manners reached him. “Thank you.”

“We’ll go get it,” I nodded and smiled, walking backwards and grabbing Michael’s hand and leading him out of the room to join me in the kitchen.

“You ok?” I turned to him. His eyes were still wide. “You’re gonna have to make conversation soon or later, you know.”

He finally looked at me. “Yeah. I know….I just didn’t expect him to be the first one here.”

“Me neither,” I shook my head. “But hey, maybe this is a good chance for us. We can talk to him first. We can tell him first about the baby.”

His expression cleared with his eyes widening. He was alert now. “You think we should tell him?”

“Yeah…I mean why not? He’s the first one here isn’t he? We might as well.”

Something passed through his features then as he stood in front of me. Uncertainty, unsettledness…a small glimpse of worry passed through his eyes and I understood why.

I reached out for him without thinking. “Do you want to tell him?”

His eyes were still in their daze, but he answered me. “Yes. Of course.”

I smiled. “I think he’ll be really happy about it. I think he should be the first to know. It’d only be right.” After them nothing having a relationship for the longest time, Michael not coming to him for anything, maybe this was what he needed to turn a new page with his father. Maybe this was the new start that he’d been wanting for a long time.

His eyes focused, and he slowly turned his gaze to me. “I think he will be too. I hope so,” he said softer.

There in his eyes, was a look that told the story of his life, of his childhood years ago. The story of him being so young, and always searching for his father’s acceptance and love….Always looking for that confirmation from his dad. I saw it in him now, and it reminded me of how his old emotions and pain had never been resolved. Part of him still wanted that confirmation. Part of him still wanted that love, and he still held out hope that he would receive it now. I hoped so too.

We poured the Scotch in a special glass and I gave it to Michael to give to his father himself, And I pushed him out with a subtle reminder to talk to him before we walked through the doorway. While we met with Joe again I strutted over to the couch to grab my bag quickly while Michael gave him his drink, coming back to join him and holding the small envelope in my hands.

“Joe—Joseph,” Michael cleared his throat. “There’s something we wanted to tell you. And since you’re the first one here we might as well show you now. It was going to be a surprise.”

“Show me what?” His face looked purely skeptical, wondering what was going on.

I stepped forward and slid the photo out of the envelope, holding the picture out in my hand.

“I’m pregnant.”

He stopped, and it was almost like time stood still. Not much gave Joe Jackson pause, but that moment right there, he was like a statue. And when you made Joseph Jackson hesitate, you knew that you had done something real. I held the photo out for him, and he looked up at me with wide eyes, looking between me and Michael for some kind of confirmation between us. Our silence gave it.

“This true?” He asked.

I nodded smiling, and Michael answered, “Yes.”

He lifted his hand up to take the photo from me, and looked at the picture. His eyes scanned through it, looking over it and letting his eyes make of it what it would. I smiled waiting anxiously for his words, and yes, a little nervously. You never really knew what to expect with Joseph. But he had to be happy, right? This was his grandkid.

Right?

I took a deep silent breath as he looked up at me, looking at my stomach to confirm what he was trying to understand. I was almost sad that I didn’t have anything to show for it yet, but insid Iknew that given a few more months that would be solved.

“How far in?” he asked.

“A month,” I answered.

He looked up into my eyes again with the shock that his emotions gave away. I had no clue how Michael looked right now, and I was almost afraid to check. But I knew that he was surprised that Joe was stunned too.

“Is it a boy or girl?” he asked.

“We don’t know yet,” I said, almost regretfully again. “But the doctor said that in five weeks we’d be able to find out. “I’m hoping for a boy,” I smirked.

He waited for a moment before answering, watching and silent for a long second. “You know….I see you with a little boy,” he finally smirked, the proud voice of a future grandpa seeping through. It actually got me excited, and my pulse raced.

“She wants a boy, but I want a girl,” Michael cut in, and it was the first time he’d spoken in minutes.

Joe looked at him, still with the smile on his face. “You still do, huh? You been wanting one for years. Well then you better pray now that you get that little girl while you still don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Michael said breathily, in what sounded like the beginnings of a laugh. It made me turn to him and watch him dumbly. He turned his head with the glint still in his eyes and saw my expression as he hesitated. “What?”

“I didn’t know that you were serious about a girl,” I pointed. “You always said you were for a boy first!”

“I said that if we had a boy I wanted him to look like you,” his rose his brows like it was something that always so clear and I was simply being slow right now. “But I’ve always wanted a girl. I’ve been telling you that. Why else would I have so many toy dolls in the nursery?” Oh my god. I couldn’t believe.

“For years Michael’s talked about wanting a baby girl,” Joe spoke up. “Even when he was little he said that it was the first thing that he wanted to have when he got married.”

“Yup,” he hummed proudly.

“Really?” I gasped. “Seriously?” All the talk that we had about babies, about little boys with his hair and eyes….was I just being slow? Even before we’d talked about it he’d always wanted a girl? How was I so unconscious to this? As his girlfriend, his wife! How had I been so oblivious?

Michael grinned, so pleased. He seemed so proud of it. And it was just then when it dawned on me amidst the mad thinking that I realized; Joseph knew that about him.

Even in their rocky relationship, the problems that they had, Joseph knew something that was so important and essential to Michael’s world. And no matter what they may have been through in the past, now there was one common ground that they both shared, that they would continue to share now, and both would get along over. Love for our child.

“So the race begins now, don’t it, Michael?”

Michael started chuckling with a breathy “Oh yeah” and I turned to Joe in confusion. “What race?”

“To beat him in number of kids,” Michael answered.

Tonight I was just really bad at shielding my expressions. I couldn’t hide my horrified face. Joe started bellowing laughing suddenly and Michael joined in, and I still held my expression, my mouth gaping open in terror at the both of them.

“One down, ten more to go,” Michael’s shoulders starting racking with his hacked chuckles.

“No,” I pointed at him, and turned to Joe. “No. Joseph, please do not enable him.”

They started laughing even harder and eventually, reluctantly, it made me smile, even though I still shook my head slowly at them both. They one thing they bond over and it just so happens to be the one thing that I’m totally fighting. Go figure.

Chamia entered the livingroom again, this time looking much more relaxed and easygoing. She came up to me and smiled at Joseph, nodding before she looked to me again. “Jessie, you have a call waiting for you. It’s Natalie.”

Nat! “Ooh,” I perked up right away. “Thanks Chamia. I’ll take the call in the kitchen.”

“Sure,” she smiled, turning around to Michael as I rushed out and left him alone with his dad. As I left through the doorway I heard a few scattered words of “family” and “party favors”.

I held myself against the counter as I grabbed the phone and picked up a little breathily answering. “Hello?”

“GIRL! Happy birthday!”


---


Nat beamed to her girl’s happy voice singing, “Thank you!”

“Another year, another number up,” she hummed.

“I know right? Make it stop,” she wailed sarcastically.

Nat laughed at her, fastening her dress at the back. “And you’re twenty-eight today, so that means Michael’s birthday yesterday made him what, thirty-eight?” Wow, she thought silently. “What is up with that?”

“I don’t know, girl, but I’m not feeling this age thing anymore. After this year I think I’m just not gonna celebrate it anymore. It’s too depressing to think about.”

Nat laughed again, knowing all too well the dread of pushing thirty and becoming more of an adult and being less of a ‘young thing.’

“Michael’s been good about it too. He hasn’t mentioned my age once yet. But I know that as soon as everyone gets here all the old jokes are coming.”

She laughed. “Oh yeah. You know he’s gonna kill you with that.”

“If he knows what’s good for him he won’t say anything.”

She giggled and flattened her pants around her, slim black leggings that were covered well by her long cream camisole top. It flowed freely with the thin material that was airy and decorated with large colorful tropical flowers, shades of tan and brown and yellow that complimented her skin so well. Today was a casual day with the family she was told, so she chose something cute and comfy to match it. Besides she was big enough that she knew there would be no showing off today.

“So what’s going on? From you calling me from your house phone I’m assuming you haven’t left yet,” she let the stern drawl carry out of her voice.

Nat laughed, “Chill out man, we’re leaving soon. We’re just waiting for Jackie to get here and then we’ll be gone. Kayla’s ready and set to leave too. She’s watching TV with the kids.”

“Ok,” Jess smiled. “Good. I can’t wait to see you guys. And see baby Jackie,” she crooned sweetly.

“You know I’m not naming our son after him, Jess,” she rose a joking brow.

“I know, I know,” she pouted. “But I still think it would have been cute, for him to have his daddy’s name. I know you’re naming him Alex, which I’m still upset about because I wanted it for my boy, too.”

“Girl,” Nat went stern on her end, standing in front of the mirror. “Too late, I took it. Maybe if you get pregnant soon we’ll talk negotiations about names. But until then---”

Jess froze, the sharp yet unknowing reminder of the secret that she held from her best friend. She laughed shortly, uneasily as she said low, “No it’s ok. You can have the name. We have a bunch of others we’re thinking of.”

“I’m sure you do,” she hummed smiling, knowing Michael must have gotten to work on that long ago. “Yeah well, I was just calling you to tell you that we’re coming soon. Jackie left twenty minutes ago so he’s almost here.”

“Ok,” Jess nodded. “That’s perfect. Joe’s here right now, and he said that Mother and the others are on their way.”

“What about your parents?”

“I think they’re still on the plane,” she frowned. They might not get here until late. The guys are keeping tabs on them though so we can find out when they land.”

“Ok good. Alright then, I’m gonna go and leave you to hosting your party. We’ll be there soon.”

“Ok, see you soon,” Jess contended, and they hung up simultaneously, leaving them both to their plans again. And it left Jess reminded of the two big surprises that she had for Natalie that she wouldn’t see coming.

Her pregnancy, and their third Musketeer, and best friend. They’d be reunited soon, and Natalie had no idea of it.

***
---

I walked back into the livingroom to see the pleasant sight of Michael and Joe talking on the couch, about work and touring. Before anything I made sure to go to them, and waited for them to finish with their sentence before I interrupted.

“Sorry to cut in, but I just want to let you know, Joseph--the whole baby announcement is a surprise. You’re one of the first and only people who know right now. We haven’t told the rest of the family yet and we don’t want anyone else to know until they’re all here, so if anyone asks you, we didn’t tell you anything,” I grinned.

Joe raised a brow with his amused smile, and what looked like pride for him being one of the first and one of the only to know. I was glad that we could give that to him.

“And baby,” I turned to Mike. “Nat says that she and Jackie are gonna be here soon, and she still doesn’t know about Alex either so don’t say anything. I’m just reminding you. Still a surprise.”

He nodded his head and smiled at me, glad to keep my surprise and seemingly just content with being there and looking like he was ready to dive back into his conversation with Joseph. I wasn’t going to ruin their bonding time any longer, so I cut it short there and announced my leave.

Just as I got to the door I heard Joe’s low voice behind me ask, “Who the hell’s Alex?”

I laughed and turned around to walk outside and find BJ and force him to help me with party dishes like Mike was going to, and on the way I tried to decide right then whether I should cheat and give him the chance of knowing about the baby also, or to just stay with the plan and wait till everyone was together to reveal it all at once. I couldn’t wait to tell him. I couldn’t wait to tell everybody. I just wanted to give in altogether and tell everybody one by one. There was so much happy news to tell, such a big day happening….so much to come in the future, it was all purely and wonderfully overwhelming. And it seemed that the only person fazed by it was me. Ah well. Tis’ the life of being with Michael Jackson, I guess. You never really get used to it. Who could expect to?

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're in love with me

Doesn't really matter what the eye is seeing
Cause I'm in love with the inner being
And it doesn't really matter what they believe
What matters to me is you're nutty-nutty-nutty for me


Chapter 115

I looked in the mirror, checking myself over again and flattening out my straight hair. This was as good as it was going to get, and so far it looked great, I had to admit.

Michael strode out in his loafers, his black slacks and plain red button-up shirt and saw me and stopped, and froze.

“Whoa,” he whispered.

That was enough to make me beam wide. Slowly he walked over, eyes not taken away from my face as he moved closer and closer, and I brought my hand up to him as he took mine.

“Do I look ok?” I asked him.

“You, look, beautiful,” he shook his head.

I blushed under my skin. Years together and he could still make me do that. Unbelievable. His hands wandering up my body lightly trailed up the thin material of my dress up to my cleavage, where he settled his hand against the side of my breast, under my arm.

“You look perfect,” he said. I smiled quietly, as he pulled me into his frame. “Without a doubt you’ll be the most beautiful one there.”

“I don’t know,” I shook my head carefully, looking down at myself again. “It feels a little too fluffy. I feel like it might be too much for this thing.”

It was a long airy cream toned dress, more like a courtyard cocktail gown if anything. It flowered out at my ankles, uneven lengths around my legs much like a lotus flower would. It was beautiful and all, I knew that, but it seemed like a little much for the occasion. But Michael of course, thought otherwise.

“Unh Unh,” he shook his head, disregarding my words. “It looks perfect.”

He lowered his head down to my neck, so slowly, and my eyes instinctively closed with the sensation of his mouth suddenly on my skin. As he brushed his lips across the goose bumps that he formed on me I thought about it, about the attention we’d have today, especially after our big announcement, and how I felt like we were almost begging for it with this whole thing. And then it made me realize that I was the only one looking like this. I realized that he wore his normal clothing.

“Hey…Why am I the only one dressing up?” I frowned at him. “It’s your party too. Why do you get to dress normal and I can’t?”

“Because this day is for you,” he smiled, lifting his hand to grab my chin. “And for the baby. And I want you both to look good.”

Ah yes… I laughed. “Oh yeah, the baby. Cause you can totally see him through this thing,” I looked down, the flat expanse of my belly clung to by the gown. I held my hand to my stomach, the image in the sonogram still clear in my mind and softening me so well. You couldn’t see anything right now…but in couple of months that would change. That all would change. “We are having a baby aren’t, we?” I cooed down, rubbing my stomach slowly and tenderly as he slid his hand to cup my face, bringing his other hand to join mine on my stomach to hold me as I embraced him willingly.

“Oh yes,” he murmured, and the low thrum of his voice caressed parts of my body that he alone couldn’t touch. “We’re gonna have a beautiful child, and they’ll look just like you, I hope.”

“Or if we’re lucky they’ll be your clone,” I purred at him, letting him close his mouth quickly over mine. Suddenly we were in utter bliss again.

Not even an hour ago we’d seen our baby on that screen, and now we’d be announcing it to the family. We’d be sharing the biggest news ever with everyone that we loved most, everyone who was so important in our lives. And then after celebrating with them we’d be off…to start a whole new chapter in our lives, start living a whole new life from the one that we had staying in one place all the time. Everything was happening so fast…it was all happening so wonderfully…it was insane.

I held my dreamy gaze with his as our hands intertwined at my stomach, and our fingers locked together, and as we stood in silence his eyes slowly changed and looked so contemplative and serene. I looked up at him and his perfect eyes, wondering what he was suddenly thinking so deeply about. Of course there had to be a lot on his mind today after all that had gone on. Finally I gave up, and nudged him smirking.

“What’s going on in there?” I prodded.

The edge of his mouth quirked up, a small movement as he went unfocused again. “This is like déjà vu.”

I paused at him.

“Us standing like this, getting ready to tell the family that we’re finally going to have a baby. I’ve dreamt of this moment, this day, for such a long time. I imagined all the ways it would happen, how it could happen, what we’d all be doing….but I just never imagined that it’d happen like this. As perfect as this is,” he shook his head. “Never.”

I felt it as my smile grew, and I stared happily at him. “I did.”

He stopped, he looked back up to my eyes and rose a brow at me. “Did you?”

“Of course,” I hummed, slinking my arms around his waist. “I always knew that we’d have a party, I always knew that we’d announce to everyone we love like this, I always knew that we’d go all out and you’d have me in a big frilly dress to show off,” I pulled the dress out at the waist and he laughed, “but no matter what, no matter how it happened, I knew that when it happened it would be as perfect as this, and that we’d be as happy as we are now.”

He searched my eyes, his own gaze filling with longing. Something happened, and his eyes were shining, as they flicked back and forth between my own. And then as I watched him give up his own fight with his desire and emotions I watched him lean down and kiss me, and of course I let him. I held his face as his hands slinked around me with what I knew was him being absolutely caught up in the moment, of everything going so well in his life, everything going as he needed it to. Our arms tightened around each other and our mouths pressed harder, and suddenly we were carried up in our emotions, in the embrace of each other and our bodies had minds of their own. We walked back to the bed and sat down, and we kissed, until our lips were crushed against each other and became swollen and aching from the movements, and we kissed every second, until the heat died down. I let my hands slide down on his chest as I felt his smile on my mouth, and I took a heavy breath, finally pulling back from him and giving us some space.

He still couldn’t pull completely away from me, and he rubbed his hand up and down on my skin, his long fingers wrapping around my upper arm completely.

I rested my forehead against his as we worked for our breaths, and I reached my hands up and held his face, brushing my thumbs smoothly against his cheeks, cleanly shaven and smooth not just for the party but for the tour that we were leaving for in the morning. And then that reminded me of so much, and it reminded me of much that we needed to settle before we left.

“Hey,” I whispered, taking a deep gulp of air before I started again. “Before we head down for the party, can we talk?”

“Of course,” he said low, his voice still dreamy. “About what?”

I slid my hands down from his skin, reaching up to kiss his cheek before I dropped my fingers completely.

His eyes flicked up to me, still glazed from the intense moment, and reached for his hands and tugged him over to my lap, readjusting myself where I sat on my dress at the edge of the bed, smoothing it out carefully so it wouldn’t wrinkle under my weight.

“We said that before we were entirely sure that we were pregnant, we were going to tread things carefully, and take things a day at a time while we got ready to leave. And we’ve done that,” I nodded. “And now that we know that we are pregnant, and that everything is ok, it’s time to get serious about things like we said, and not think just about us but about the life that’s growing with us along the way.”

He watched me with his soft eyes, and smiled sweetly. I smiled back.

“You’ve been doing really good with taking your medication. Do you feel like you’re going to be okay? While you’re performing and all? Do you feel like you can handle it when we leave?”

The edge of his mouth curved up, and his eyes softened even further. “I feel great; I know I’ll be fine.”

“Ok, but are you telling me this as your husband, or as Michael Jackson?”

The smile that he had a moment ago fell, and suddenly he was looking at me with a somber face, emotionless and unmoving with the stiffness of his body.

I squeezed his hands, and pulled them closer. “I know you, baby. And most importantly, you know yourself. No matter what you’re going through, no matter what happens to you you’re always trying to be Superman, you’re always putting others before yourself and taking the whole world upon your shoulders. And as honorable and admiring as that is, right now,” I brought his hands to rest flat on my stomach, “Right now we know that there’s going to be someone else…someone who is going to come into our world who is going to need you more than anything. More than I do, more than your fans do, more than the industry does. They’re going to need all of you there for them. Will you be able to provide that? Will you be able to give yourself up to be what you need to be for them? For our baby?”

His eyes unfocused from mine, and as he held my stomach they went into space, looking farther than me. He was realizing, he was suddenly realizing the true depth of this.

“The baby’s not here yet obviously, but it’s on it’s way and now we have start thinking of what’s best for the baby, and what’s best for me as the incubator for this sweet little thing, and what’s best for me is seeing the best happen for you.”

He was wordless, not speaking, but I knew that he heard every word that I said. I held his hands tighter to my body as I let him be deep in his thought.

“You’ll be performing every day, not sleeping at night, restless, tired at the same time. And seeing that toll on you is going to put a toll on me. And I want this baby growing healthy and strong and I don’t want to be worrying about you every second of the day.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything baby but, now I want to think of what’s best for the baby. And what’s best for her is me not having to be worried sick about you all the time. That’s all I care about. Along with him,” I smirked.

He smirked back at the clear word change that I made, and his eyes weakened again. I think he knew that I had a point, and knew that I was right. He was always the one to overwork himself. He was always putting himself through the ringer for his work and for his fans and everyone who loved him, and that put such a toll on him all the time. Along with his illnessness, the constant physical pain that he went through, pushing himself would only make it worse, and that wold in turn just beat him up in everyway. And even though I was doing better at it, he knew that I couldn’t help but fuss over him, and that I’d especially still fuss over him on the road. I was only human, and I loved him. It was only instinct to me. But now that I’d be touring too while carrying this baby, the constant worrying wouldn’t just be over him, it would do something to me. And letting myself go through that, did I want to put risk to the baby?

“I’m just asking that you continue to think about us and not go too crazy. I’m not asking that you take a break…I’m not that delusional,” I shook my head and he suddenly giggled and laughed which brought a smile from me again, “But can you just make a conscious effort? To at least be selfish and think of yourself? And take care of yourself when I’m not there to take care of you? Your fans love you and they’ll always be there, but I need you there too. I don’t wanna see you collapsing, or getting hurt again. I know I’ve joked about it before but I’m serious,” I shook my head. “I wanna see you safe. And I want to see you healthy and living a long, long time.”

He was silent and thought about it, and I waited patiently for him to take it in and form his words.

“We don’t have to go deep into it right now,” I told him. “I just want you to really think about it. For us. All three of us.”


He looked at me calmly, his fingers flexing in my hand. I smiled at him calmly back and I knew that he wouldn’t be able to take it all in at once, and that I would need to give him time to process and digest and really think for himself. And I was ready to give him that. I pulled myself his grip as I moved to stand up, but just as I started to stand his grip tightened on mine and tugged me back down, and I lookd at him in surprise, seeing him looking up at me with new intent. I had a millisecond to look at him and wonder if that was a good or bad thing. I was going to find out.

“I know that you worry about me, and I understand that it’s not easy seeing how I work, and how hard I work.”

I sat still.

“My whole life I’ve been doing this. Ever since I was four years old. I’m so used to it, I almost feel incomplete when I’m not doing it. No,” he shook his head. “No, I do feel incomplete. You’ve seen me Jessie, when I’m not working or writing I go crazy,” he said it with so mch passion that I held my breath.

“I know,” I whispered.

“And the other day I was talking to Kevin, about the future and the plans that we’re making for our next projects. We were discussing things, and suddenly it hit me. It made me have to face the truth. I’m getting old.”

I gave him a serious frown. “Michael—“

He shook his head, cutting me off from my words. His eyes told me. It was ok.

“I’ve been doing this for such a long time. I’ve been doing this thing for decades. Since you were a baby,” he nodded at me, reminding me of our stark age difference.

“This is my life, and it’s who I am,” he said. “I can’t change that.”

“I know,” I whispered, already feeling defeated.

“And it doesn’t ever stop, and I can’t make it stop.”

“I know,” I shrugged.

“And you know that I love what I do.”

“I know you do,” I shrugged helplessly, and just before my guilty emotions had me giving up and apologizing profusely to him for asking him to change he lifted a hand to my mouth, shushing me.

“HIStory was a big success, and I believe that Ghosts is really going to take off. And this tour is going to be the best I’ve ever done. I can’t just stop there. I won’t stop there.”

I stayed silent, holding his hands to me and feeling his calmness and hoping it would stay that way. I wasn’t trying to overstep my boundaries, and I wasn’t trying to tell him what to do. Right in that moment I hoped more than ever that he knew that.

“But…I think that this pregnancy is a Divine way of telling me I need to settle down, and take a break. And focus on my family. And I’m more than willing to that, for the baby, and for you.”

My eyes widened and mouth fell open, and I saw him smiling at me. My heart began to beat so fast as I watched him, telling me with his eyes what I so badly wanted to hear for so long. That he was giving in.

“Honestly, I think you couldn’t have gotten pregnant at a more perfect time.” He shook his head with the most charming smile, and in the midst of my fleeting thought of how amazingly handsome he looked then I paused and rose a brow, giving him a skeptical look for that that somehow made him laugh.

“Yes, the timing seems crazy to you….but in retrospect it’s perfect for me and for us. You know how lonely I get on the road. How sad,” he lifted my hand up to him, cradled my palm against his skin. “How alone and by myself I am.”

I suddenly felt it with him, remembering all of his emotions and the hurt that he’d told me that he’d endured traveling all alone.

“Having you there, and seeing your belly growing as the months go by will give me the strength I need, to keep going on myself and keep giving my fans what they want. And giving you what you want. I don’t think I do that enough.” His eyes lowered and his thumb traced over my bottom lip, and I just wanted his hands all around me then, just holding me.

“All I want,” I shook my head. “All I’ve ever wanted is you. I just want you to be healthy and happy with me for a long, long time. That’s all that I’m asking for. I don’t want you to stop doing what you love. I just want you to take care of yourself while you’re doing it. Can that be the promise? Can you give me that? That you’ll take care of yourself?”

“I think everything happens for a reason,” he hummed softly. “After this tour is done I’m gonna stay out of sight, stay at home with you. So we can relax, and we’ll raise our family. So yes,” he smirked. “I’ll be good. And I’ll write and work on the side, but the first priority will be my family.”

That sounded so wondrous that I almost couldn’t take it.

“You promise?” I whispered, my eyes stinging. I felt like a child, but suddenly there was so much weight to those words. I needed to it hear it, I needed to hear them.

“I promise.” His face lowered and he kissed me, and I reached my hands up to his neck, grabbing him desperately, pulling him down and deepening the embrace for us, pulling him into every emotion that I felt, every ounce of the happiness that I felt with him there. We were moving forward, making a new pact, starting a new version of our story together. And I knew more than ever now that we’d be a team, every step of the way.

I was pressed on top of him as he held me by the waist, and my arms slid and wrapped around his neck, my left hand holding his bulk of hair as I supported myself against his chest. I pulled away from his swollen and smeared mouth long enough to pant, “I love you,” against his lips.

“I love you more,” he whispered back, the end of his words cut off with a sealing press of his mouth hard against mine.

“Do you?” I muffled when I moved back long enough, which wasn’t long at all.

“Mhm,” he mumbled back, not bothering to pull away to speak. I climbed up into his lap more as he slid his hands up my body to hold onto the sides of my chest like he’d done earlier. His large hands almost framed my breasts that way, and my hands stayed around him, looking down at him and breathing so heavily.

“How much do you love me?” I panted.

His eyes lowered, and were engulfing. “So much that I want to ruin that pretty dress that you’re wearing so I can love you down.”

That made me want to laugh. But even more, it turned me on. “Then go ahead,” I hissed, leaning down and flicking my tongue out against his mouth, hearing his guttural and pleased groan in response as I did it. “Do it,” I huffed before kissing him quick.

“You just put it on,” he mumbled, and I could barely understand because I hadn’t given his mouth enough room to form the words properly. “We should be going downstairs.” He was trying to reason, but now that we caught up I wasn’t taking it. I wanted him, so bad.

“I’ll wear another one,” my hands rushed down to start unbuttoning his shirt, taking it apart impatiently as I moved over him, sitting right onto his lap.

“Oh God,” he groaned as I sat myself heavily against his crotch, moving myself against him surely, in slow languid movements that I knew he couldn’t resist.

“Now you know I can’t say no to that,” he said so low, his low, aggressive voice, hands trailing down to my waist.

“That’s the plan,” I whispered, going down to his neck. “Come on…” I tugged at his shirt, moving to lift it up from his waist to caress his belly. “I want you. I’ve wanted you all day.”

His hands tightened around me, pulling me in as a response to my words. It put us tighter against each other; almost wedding us together save for the clothes bunched between us keeping us from melding completely.

Feeling our bodies so close together yet so far away I knew we both could feel it and could feel what we quickly wanted to do to resolve it. We both grew from the steady high, the steady climb into a deep wanton need for each other and I moved my head again to kiss him, pressing my mouth hard against him, forcibly opening his mouth with mine and meeting my tongue with his, tasting him deep, raising my chest against his and feeling him moving back.

He pulled me down with him and I braced my weight on him on the bed, and he moved his head down from my mouth to kiss the skin of my chest, making a pathway as his hands roamed under me, and as I started feeling him tugging the length of my skirt where it pooled over my ankles. His hands finally found the hem of my dress and started sliding up my thighs, meeting my knees, then hips simultaneously, grabbing the edge of my lacing and holding on tight. I moved and lifted myself to help him, panting and looked down at what he did as he pushed my skirt up higher and handed the bunch to me to hold up for him. I gladly helped out and pulled it up and out of his determined grip as he moved his hand back to where it was and searched for my panties, searching blindly until the map of my thighs let him find my lacing again, and he hooked his fingers under, holding a secure grip again, and using his other hand until he had both sides.

While he kept a hand holding a fistful, I felt him carefully trailing his other hand down to my front, to find my already damp place as he curved his fingers over my heat, and started rubbing his fingers against my front, still touching each nerve of mine as he steadily and slowly moved his fingertips back and forth, causing extra friction against my steadily leaking center.

I kneeled breathlessly as my legs got weak and I held myself against him for support, and he slowed his movements more, running his fingers back and forth so determinedly, so shamelessly before lifting the lace up from my skin and sliding his fingers in, tracing across my tip and circling it slowly causing a shock of pleasure to my system. I gasped and lost even more air, watching him looking down at his work and feeling him do it at the same time, before I saw him flick his eyes up to mine, his intense dark orbs holding mine with intent, and hunger.

“Is that good?” He said, moving his finger in time with his words like choreography.

I couldn’t speak. I nodded my head yes.

He started circling his fingers around my swollen tip and I almost bucked in response. If I wasn’t frozen then I was definitely stuck in position now. I wasn’t moving for a swarm of bees.

“How about that. Do you like that?”

I nodded dumbly, my head moving hard and fast.

“I can’t hear you,” he murmured, and like some stroke of genius he widened his legs under me, spreading mine over him on the bed, and giving his hand more access to spread and reach more space on me. It was glorious.

I moaned as he used four fingers to rub circles around my slit, shockwaves traveling from his callused fingers down to my so sensitive and pulsating skin, and I had to close my eyes. You couldn’t feel something as good as this and not close your eyes. It was a crime.

“Is that better?” He prodded, his deep voice telling me that he was in his zone of determination. He was far gone, and it would only go uphill from here.

“I can’t hear you honey,” he teased, and oh god it was so good, I tightened my arms around his neck and pushed myself on him so that I wouldn’t fall, and it made me drop my head against him, so close that I was panting right in his ear.

“Yes,” I drooled. “That’s good, that’s good oh god don’t stop. Don’t stop, please. Hng,” I finally mewled.

He laughed then, a breathy sound in my ear. He stroked for a longer while, and then his movements slowed down until he suddenly removed his hand completely, without warning, and it tore a frustrated sound from me as I realized it and my hand flew down to catch him.

My hand shot down and grabbed his wrist, pushing his hand back to where it was, prodding him back to his good work, “No,” I whined. “No no no…go back,” I whined. “Go back--” I coached his fingers on me moving my hips down to him for encouragement.

He laughed even more, such a seductive, sinful sound filled with so much cockiness as he pulled his grip out of my hold and I frowned so hard, letting out the most unattractive sound of resentment. Still he moved his hand away and off of me, and moved his face back into my line of vision, thankfully seeing my very displeased expression as he smirked at it, and leaned away. He watched me as he pulled my dress in a scrunched ball and brought me crawling over him, and when I moved willingly hoping he had another plan to ease this pooling ache between my thighs, I noticed that I was moving farther than his crotch, and it startled me for a moment. What was he doing?

I frowned in confusion as he moved us sideways on the bed, and as I looked back he picked his feet up onto the bed, laying back as he pulled me further over me, making me crawl over to his chest. I didn’t have another second to ask what he was doing when he tugged me over him those last few inches and he pushed my dress up high over my stomach, giving me a visibly hungry look as he inched himself lower under me, putting his mouth almost level with my place.

Oh my god.

He fixed himself under the bridge of my legs, shrugging his shoulder under my knees one by one to put himself directly under me, and I caught my breath seeing him adjust himself like he was working, getting a perfect angle to do his job. Once he seemed to get the right angle out of me, putting me above his mouth, he let out the most guttural growl, like he was hurting. I was so swollen aware and wet it felt like it was hurting now too. He pulled me down, and the look that came into his eyes was incredible, as he brought both hands up to hook around me, and brought me down, and all I felt was him on my center, sucking slowly through the cloth of underwear that I still wore. I lifted my head up and breathed out, and gasped just as I felt him pull the cloth aside, not even patient enough anymore to take his time to work me, moving to get right to the skin of me, and I came undone.

I pushed my weight on my forearms; otherwise I would have fallen and either smothered him or rolled off of the edge of the bed that we were parallel too. And for several painfully wonderful seconds I breathed out shakily, stretching over to the head of the bed and reaching out to grab one of the pillows and drag them under my head, resting my face down to lay there as he slowly dined on me, keeping me there. Still I couldn’t take it. All I could feel was his languid tongue, tracing me, making circles on me, licking me so carefully and flicking across my ache so well that I couldn’t take it and I dropped my hand from the pillow to grip onto the bed sheet making a fist in my hand he took me in and sucked on my pulsating tip relentlessly, and I bit my bottom lip, shutting my eyes as my legs weakened, threatening to give out over him.

I felt a hand running aimlessly over my back under the dress, running down to my ass and wandering, caressing me and rubbing me everywhere, and I curved my body on him, feeling his large palm take part of me in his hand, squeezing and kneading me there, as I swelled and dripped endlessly, literally melting in the palm of his hand and feeling every lap of his in response. Finally I couldn’t take it, my legs gave out and I sat down.

Something about me lowering myself on him made him so…determined. Ravenous was the better word for it. His hands reached around my thighs and pulled me down harder against him, his mouth opening wide and taking more of me in as I breathed out, really needing to grip onto the bed.

Oh shit this would be the end of me.

***

I swear, ever since we’d gotten married we’d become too polite. Why hadn’t we done anything like this, in such a long time? Feeling her over me, on my face, pooling and dripping on me made me want her in ways I couldn’t comprehend. I stretched my tongue out to reach all of her and in response she started grinding herself, gyrating against my tongue and I gave her full reign as I heard her unleashed gasps and long moans, almost sounding frustrated, threatening to go insane reaching her hand down to grab the back of my head and grind herself harder against me. I rubbed my tongue back and forth against her swell hard, and held her thighs trembling over me as a response to her movements. I lifted my hands again to grab both of them, holding the tight muscled strength of her in my hands as I sucked her sweet swollen tip into my mouth, and concentrated all my attention o her there, bringing my tongue out lick her hard again and finally feeling her collapse down over me.

“Oh god, YES,” she muffled into the sheets. “Yes—yes--right there---oh god YES,” she squealed.

I turned my head, getting a new angle on her and hearing new words of coaching and encouragement, as she ground her hips harder against my face. She threw all politeness and caution to the wind. She let her greediness and selfishness take over, and gave herself to the unadulterated pleasure that she craved, that drove her wild. And I was nothing less than for it. This was the most power you could have with a woman right here…it wasn’t being over her, taking control of her, it was having her have her way with you, taking her full reign and act our her most primal way letting you know that you gave her what she wanted and that she would take and take until she was satisfied. That was the best pleasure you could ever give, and I got the best pleasure from getting it.

I ran my tongue over her again and again at her ragged ordering, and when I hit the spot that she told me I had, I kept myself there, going and going and sliding my fingers carefully not to lose my place, and I knew I had done the right thing because she let out a cry of happiness, and I slid my fingers deeper, gliding easily into her soaking wet heat.

She sobbed for me to stay that way, over and over again, and I did exactly what she said, sucking her hard in place and plunging my fingers in and out of her tightness, knowing full well that she couldn’t last like this for much longer on me. And breaking the rules I let go of my sucking hold with her in my mouth, and I dragged my tongue out across her, over and over and over again. And it wasn’t even minutes until she erupted.

She came everywhere on me, and it was messy, and it was perfect.

She shattered with a loud scream into the pillow, thank god cause even from there is sounded blood-curdling and her body finally fell and collapsed. I moved out from her and turned us on the bed to let myself breath, and as she regained consciousness I climbed up over her, reaching down and kissing her neck down her bare back. I didn’t dare touch anywhere else; I knew she was hypersensitive right now. The most I could give her was my gentle touch against her skin and that was it.

She came to slowly as ran my hands over her back, brushing away her hair and laying a kiss on her skin again, and as she turned her head to me I smiled, and after several tries and fails between gasping pants she returned the gesture, reaching her hand up into my hair and pulling me down to kiss her neck again, all that she could do in her wasted strength.

Mission accomplished.

---

You could have punched me then, and I wouldn’t have felt it. My body was absolutely numb from all of the endorphins, all the little waves of pleasure after pleasure still swimming through me, making me paralyzed for minutes. Luckily Michael was patient, and gave me time to regain myself as he kissed my skin gently, grazing his lips up and down my arm as I just gave myself over to the pampering and let my body recover on its own. It happened quicker than I thought, and I felt my energy return to me again, or should I say my desire, and I pushed him turning on my back as he moved away and gave me room, and I lay down looking up at him, a very, very pleased smile on my face.

That had been the most amazing thing. Words could not formulate enough. So instead I let my body do it.

I reached up to his head and held him, and he knew without prompting that it was time to kiss. We moved mouths slowly, calmly, so unlike before when we were so frantic to have each other. Now it was like we had all the time in the world and we decided to spend it this way. I tasted myself on his lips, it was sweet, and musky, if that was a good description at all. I tasted good on him, and I wanted more of it, so I tasted more, and I enjoyed it. When we had enough of me sucking on his tongue and licking at his mouth we rested back, breathing heavy. We looked into each other’s eyes and he kissed my forehead smiling, before he finally rested himself and we took a break from smooching, just laying there. I smiled so drunkenly at him, and so thankful, and realized that he hadn’t gotten anything from this. I could fix that.

“Lean over me,” I said.

He laughed a weak sound. “What?”

“Lean over me,” I tapped his side. “You did it to me now I wanna do it to you.”

“No,” he shook his head, still chuckling. “You don’t have to pay me back. I’m fine.”

“Mikey,” I huffed holding him. Wow I really was love drunk; I never called him that on a normal day. “I know you’re dying down there…There’s no way you’re not stiff from all of that,” I shook my head. I knew as much as he loved giving me oral pleasure, it did things to his body himself, and he had to be stiff as a rock the vigorous way he’d devoured my lady part. I trailed my down hands to confirm my words and of course, there was a huge bulge in the front of his fastened pants, just begging to be relieved by my ministering.

“Knew it,” I whispered.

He grinned. “I’m ok. I’m just glad that I was able to give you something...” He would never say the actual words. “God, the way you look right now,” his eyes were heavy again, and it sent desire racing through me.

“Let me give something to you,” I tugged him to me and he barely moved. “Come on, let me. You know you want me to,” I hummed my suggestion as I trailed my fingers down his waist again.

His laugh was weak and breathy, the beginnings of his giving in. I knew I almost had him.

“Come on,” I pulled him closer. “I’ll make it last.”

“That’s exactly the problem,” he murmured sarcastically. “You know I’m not gonna last long if I let you.”

I grinned, pushing him up and feeling him help me as he lifted himself up on his elbow as he rose up beside me, first getting on his knees. And then he looked down at me unsure, not yet ready to take the last step. Him and his chivalry sometimes.

“Come on,” I reached out and grabbed his thigh, his beautifully strong and thick thigh, and it was marvelous how I couldn’t even wrap my small hand around half of it, so I had to get as good a grip as I could with my size and let him bring himself over to me. He swung his bent leg over my body finally, and was straddling me like I wanted him too, and it was perfect. I reached up to him and started unblocking his belt, opening it at his waist and then going to his button and fly next. The zipper made a beautifully suggestive sound and I unwrapped him, pulling his briefs down and setting him springing free excitedly before my face. Oh my.

“Well hello there,” I purred.

“Oh god,” he moaned, bringing his hand up to his suddenly red face to cover it. I laughed at him. Oh goodness. As naughty, and as raunchy and wild as he could be, my baby was so easily embarrassed by the littlest things.

I didn’t waste any time in lifting myself up to sit up to meet him, because his height on his knees and me laying flat put an unreachable distance between us on the bed. I held him in my hand, and opening my waiting mouth I guided him in.

I played my fingers around his balls as I worked him inside of me, and with those movements of course, like he said, it didn’t take long for him long to go. He was gone in minutes, and I was swallowing him down, licking off the last remnants of his liberation. He was on the bed on his hands in a push-up position, and he was quivering over me as I licked and sucked him clean, and when he was clean, I licked and sucked at his wet skin. He trembled over me and with a verbal warning that he was going to fall I let him pull himself away, and he rolled onto his side, falling to his back as I crawled up to him, laying on his chest, bringing my hand down to still play with his friend.

He huffed out, a mix of laughter and of breathlessness. “You’re incorrigible, you know that?” His voice quivered as he said it. It was a good sound.

“Mm,” I hummed for him, softly kissing his lips. “And I still want more.”

“Oh lord,” he groaned, and I giggled at him, playing aimlessly with his now receding tip.

“Give me five minutes,” he breathed.

“Ok,” I whispered through heavy lids, still playing gently with him, smiling at him all the while.

“I love you,” I told him.

“I love you too,” he finished. “And after this, I’d love for us to take a shower. I don’t think we’re in a position to go to any party looking like this.”

I looked down at my dress, definitely disheveled and ruined. “I’m gonna have to change.”

“Me too,” he said, and finally we giggled together. A rich sound between two people who had made the sweetest love.

We rested, and relaxed, and when we fully gained our strength again we got ourselves into position and stripped the last of our ruined clothing away, completely naked, wanting and ready again. We positioned ourselves on the bed so that we were both on our knees, leaning forward against the headboard, his front pressed into the back of my thighs, and him angling us carefully, placing himself against me from behind. Needless to say, as I turned my head and held his down to me as he lowered his lips to my neck and entered me in one thick jagged thrust, we were in mortal bliss, and would writhe there rocking and shoving against each other for another long hour to come.

August 31, 1996

Chapter 114

Luckily Michael didn’t hear the phone ring. He was sound asleep in bed with me, and I wanted to keep it that way. But I heard it, and I rolled over reluctantly, groggily picking up quick so it wouldn’t bother him. This had better be important. At this hour it had better be. I could barely even talk when I answered hello.

“Really funny, Jess. Real f*ckin funny.”

I went still.

“Michael Jackson’s HIStory?' Seriously??”

....Alex.

I started grinning hard, covering my mouth as not to wake Michael up as I started laughing. “It’s a great album isn’t it?”

“I wouldn’t know, I haven’t listened. I’m still shocked that you even managed to slip it in the pile while I didn’t see. When the hell’d you even do that??”

I laughed again and rolled over, looking to make sure that Michael truly wasn’t awake. I watched him, seeing him laying there on his stomach his face turned towards me, his mouth open as he snored softly. So lovely. “You really should listen to it. It’s got some amazing songs on there. Some stuff you’d like a lot too.”

“Uh huh,” he drawled. “Promoting your husband, huh?”

“That’s what I do,” I grinned.

He grunted on his end and finished it with a scoff and I laughed at him. “Just listen to a song or two or three and tell me what you think.”

He sighed out. “I don’t even know what to listen to.”

“Well the album’s like, two CD’s long, it shouldn’t be hard.”

“What?? WHY is it two CD’s long??”

I started laughing, licking my lips before sighing going still. “The first CD’s his old hits; the second is his new material.”

“So I don’t have to listen to the first one?”

“I never said that,” I corrected him. I wasn’t about to get in trouble for telling him the wrong thing. “I’m saying that you should listen to the new stuff first, and then go from there.”

“Ok then,” he made an exasperated sound and I smiled again. I could just imagine him running his hands through his long messy hair in overwhelmed exasperation. “I guess I should start getting familiar with his sh*t before I actually work for him.”

“Yeah, ya think?” I smirked.

He knew that he couldn’t say anything back, so he had nothing smart to say. “You obviously know his stuff. What would you pick for me?”

I paused. “Oh. I don’t know...” Oh man. I hated choosing from his songs. I looked into Michael’s closed eyes and wondered what songs he’d want me to promote. “Listen to Smile. Hm...and then Childhood. Childhood’s really beautiful. You’ll understand him the best in that song.”

“Ok...”

“But you gotta promise that you’ll listen to the others too,” I jumped in. “The whole album’s really genius. It’s got some really raw songs in there and they’re all really personal to him. Listen to the whole thing.”

He made an impressed sound on the line to me and then I could just see his wide smirk, “Look at you, promoting your hubby.”

“That’s what I’m here for baby!” I beamed.

He laughed. “Ok fine, I’ll take a listen. And if I hear this stuff and don’t like it you’re paying me back the money I unknowingly spent for the CD.”

I scoffed at him. “You told me I didn’t have to pay you back!”

“Yeah well, I forgot that you’re living in a goldmine over there.”

“F*ck you,” I laughed.

“Love you too.” I could hear his grin.

“Goodnight Alex,” I giggled, shaking my head before I stopped myself. “Oh! You’re still coming tomorrow, right?”

“Yep. And I think I’m getting there early. I asked Michael to get me an early flight just in case I got lost in LA.”

“Good idea,” I nodded. “Well, call me if you need anything.”

“Oh I will. Talk to you.”

“See you soon,” I smirked, the excitement of it hitting me again. We’d all be to together again.

“Oh wait---Jess?”

I stopped. “Yeah?”

“…Well sh*t. Happy Birthday.”

I froze, and as I looked over I sat up in bed to look at the clock on Michael’s side, and, oh wow, it was 3am. Tomorrow was today.

“Well sh*t,” I laughed. “It is my birthday.”

I heard him laughing low on his end and I joined him, sighing out and sinking further into the bed. “You’re officially the first to tell me.”

“Of course I am.” I could just hear his cocky grin. Again, I laughed at him.

“Happy birthday, Munchkin.”

I smiled again, even more happily. “Thank you.”

“Love you.”

Cue in my sigh. “Love you too.”

“See you soon.”

*


I woke up again this time with Michael over me, his looming shadow rousing me up from my sleep. When I finally blinked my eyes open I looked up and saw him giving me the sweetest and most knowing smile. I realized what it meant before he even said it, and I was even more happy to hear it from his lips.

“Happy Birthday.”

I reached my arms up around his neck and pulled him down over me in a hug that rivaled even the cuddliest of teddy bears, and I felt his lips grazing the size of my neck, and heard him take in a deep breath, just resting there.

“I love you,” I cooed into his skin.

“I love you. More than anything in this whole universe.”

My face simply formed into a smile, and I nestled closer into his tied hair, just so happy that I could be right here right now in his arms, just with him. I honestly couldn’t even imagine ever being without him again, ever being away from him. It was unfeasible to me.

I felt his warm lips kissing my neck and I hummed for him.

“You ready?” He whispered, kissing my neck several times again, in a line down my collarbone to the center of m neck. I simply nodded my head.

“Good,” he kissed me lower, “Because I,” kiss, “have a surprise,” kiss, “For you.”

Oh god his lips felt so good, warming and scorching my skin wherever he went, all at the same time. “Do you,” I half sighed, half whispered to him.

“Mhm,” He kissed down to the center of my chest, just where the V of my nightdress edged off. “And especially for your birthday too…” His lips kissed over the silk of my cloth even quicker, moving down to push my skirt up my hips wedging his mouth in to kiss the inside of my thigh.

Oh I was starting to catch on to his drift, and a twinge of awareness seared through me and down to my lower parts, things low on me tightening and pulsating as he edged his face into the corner of where my inner thigh curved in. Once I felt his tongue snake under the cloth of my underwear, I was more than positive now than ever what my very first present of the day would be. Oh God, yes.

My eyes fluttered shut, and threw my head back as the wet heat of him touched the hot wetness of me, snaking his fingers under to pull it away, licking a long smooth line across my swell as he ended it in a long kiss burning against me.

“Ohh God YES,” I shouted, feeling his laughing response humming through me.

</mp3>

*** </center>

Michael hooked his arm around me while he reached over to grab the soap behind my head. My wet hands went to his very naked wet waist and held on as I turned my head, watching him come back with a bottle of body wash.

He lifted it up high in the air under the showerhead and I glanced up, and he squeezed it down all over my chest, spraying the gel all over me in a way that looked much naughtier than he meant it to.

I started laughing and pushed his hand away, and smeared some off as his hand came forward to do the same. He then took the initiative and started spreading the soap all over me, soaping me up himself as I stood still and bit my lip smiling, looking down and watching his large hand as it ran over my skin. I followed his direction as he squirted more into his hand, covering my lower parts as his gaze lowered. I glanced up at his expression quickly, his bare pale eyes, his wet hair clinging to his skin all over from his face to his neck to his broad shoulder, and his pale lips with droplets of water on them that I just wanted to kiss off.

So I did.

I held his face stopping him from his movements for a second, and I went up on my tiptoes and gave him the smallest smack of my lips. My eyes were heavy when I went back down, and looking up his were too, as they stretched with the edge of his beautiful curving smile. I loved it.

He went back to rubbing me, soaping up my stomach and my sides, getting my hips and reaching back to grab the handful of my ass that he greedily took hold of. I smiled so sheepishly, looking down and holding his forearms as he leaned forward and soaped up my backside. When he pulled back I looked up slowly at him, and he leaned down and kissed me again, and I took it graciously.

He started soaping up my thighs, playing drums with his hands on either side of them and I laughed and slapped his hand off me, and as he chuckled he bent lower, soaping my inner thighs as he went and bent down on one knee, getting me completely there. I held onto his shoulder as he looked up and held onto him tight, and he supported me by my hips as he came back up, bending down swiftly to kiss me again. I could taste myself on his lips. The flavor mixed with the water as the rain of the showerhead washed over us. It was perfect. I brought my arms up around his waist and hugged him, letting him smooch my lips quicker, once, twice, and I smiled. He pulled his head back and I bent down to the floor of the shower grabbing the gel bottle and pouring it into my own hand, and soaping him up next. And then I gave up and decided to give him payback. I squirted it straight onto his chest.

“Hey!” He jumped back too late, holding my waist as I giggled still squirting and watching the gel as it went all over him. I started spreading it in and he leaned down again, kissing my neck, my cheek, my ear. I smiled and felt him hold me closer, dropping his head into the crook of my neck as he sighed.

“I love you.”

My mouth was spreading wide, and I turned my head into him pulling his face in for another kiss. We couldn’t get enough of those lately.

We did that for a while, and as we knew it would, we couldn’t take it anymore. I was hopping up into his arms, finding myself up and taller than his height, holding onto his thick and strong and newly muscled arms as he held me up and moved us over to the wall.

He grunted and groaned, falling against the wall under me for dramatics.

“F*ck you,” I slapped him laughing.

He laughed in that adorable old lady’s laugh of his, and I leaned down and glanced into his eyes, holding his neck as I hovered my mouth over his, rubbing my lips across in just a tickle, just before he closed the distance.

And then we kissed again, and you’d think we hadn’t kissed all day.

When we got out of the shower we were both squeaky clean and fresh, and I held my towel around me as I went to the phone at the bedside, calling down for Chamia while he went to the closet.

“Chamia, can you send Karen up? Tell her I’m ready for her.”

“Hey!” Michael shouted from the closet. “I’M not ready!”

I started giggling again, holding my lips together to feign seriousness. “Chamia, can you tell Karen to wait five more minutes while Michael gets dressed?”

“Yes Mrs. Jackson,” she replied, and I hung up the phone.

“Hurry up babe, Karen needs to dry my hair while it’s still wet!”

He came out with an undone shirt and loosely pulled up pants, and I smirked at him. “Nice.”

He made a grunting sound and walked past me, tapping my waist while he walked by and grabbed his hat from the bed. I spun around and smirked at him, my face slowly forming in wonderment as he went to put his socks and shoes on.

“What are you doing?” I stared.

“I wanna try something in the studio,” he spun back around and walked past me, going back to the closet again.

“Recording studio?” I asked.

“Dance studio,” he strolled back to me, holding my hip.

“I won’t be too long,” he told me.

“Mmhm,” I smirked, immediately silently calling bullsh*t on him. “I’ll come and get you when I’m done.”

His telltale smile said that took everything from that meaning. “Ok.” He kissed me and moved back, and I found myself almost pouting and watching lonely as he left.

When Karen came in I gave her a hug while and she wished me my third happy birthday, and she set everything down on the bed as she started combing my hair.

“I’m so glad that you’re back again,” she started, in that voice of hers that said she was always ready for girl talk. “Good to be back home home, isn’t it?”

I smiled. “Yeah it definitely is.”

“Michael missed you so much,” she gushed. “All he did was talk about you. All the time.”

I laughed.

“You wouldn’t believe how tortured he was while you were gone.”

I looked down into my lap, silently feeling so happy about that. Feeling glad that I wasn’t the only one suffering. Michael was so open with me usually and normally we were great with communication, but sometimes when he was feeling insecure it was hard for him to show his true emotions. It was especially hard when he was afraid that it would hurt himself showing them. It felt good to know that that was what he felt, without having him go through the pains of saying it.

“Really, I’m so glad that you came back. I was so sick of hearing him whining about it.”

I laughed again, with a short breath. “Whining, huh?”

"Oh yeah. He was like an annoying moping puppy half the time and the other half the time he was checking his phone to see if you had called when he thought no one was looking."

I giggled at the imagery, biting my lip trying to hold back the smile I had from it. Just the image of him moping over me. “Sorry about that,” I told her. “We needed a breather.”

" Oh, I know!” she groaned. “And it worked out fine didn't it? Ugh he never listens to me. I told him to just let you be. You were only gone a week for God’s sake!"

We both started laughing together and she squeezed my shoulder quick before going back to my hair.

"No really, I’m glad things worked out. I hope he took my advice and stopped bugging you about starting a family so soon too. He just needed to understand there’s a difference between work and family, and there are certain things you can’t control! It happens when it happens! "

I paused, so surprised just then. She had told him that?

”He didn’t get it at first but you know how he is, Michael gets what Michael wants and that’s that. He kinda needed a reality check that having a wife is different. You can’t treat her the same way you do your workers.”

“You told him that?” I finally let out.

“Among a lot of things.” I felt her pause on my head, turning to go into my vision with her wary expression. “Sorry, I know you don’t like when others get into your personal business with him...he was just really upset and needed someone to talk to, and I’m his Turkle, you know?”

“No, no,” I shook my head, looking into her face. “No I understand. It’s ok. Just...thank you.”

She paused and smiled, her ruby red lips spreading before her softened eyes disappeared and she went to my head, combing out my hair and sectioning it.

“I’ve been with Michael a long time, and in all that time and seeing all the girls he wanted to date, no one makes me feel more at ease of being able to handle him like you do.”

I laughed at that one. “Thanks.”

“We all know that Michael is not easy. He’s wonderful and beautiful but he is not easy. And it takes someone special to be able to deal with those not-so-wonderful parts of him that come out at times.”

“Oh yeah,” I laughed, feeling a little more comfortable that she’d said it. “Yeah definitely.”

“You and I may not have been the best of friends in the beginning, but I know now that you really love him so much and that when he’s happy I’m happy. But now that he’s happy you have to be happy. Bottom line is I’m ready to tell him about himself if he ever gives you trouble again.”

I laughed again, and smiled at remembering that once upon a time I wasn't exactly fond of Karen and her closeness to Michael. It had been when I’d first started having feelings for him, and while I had still been trying to convince myself that I didn't. But after time and a lot of trash talk to Michael (and after smug reassurance on his end), I came to realize that what I was feeling was in fact jealousy, and he'd let me know that there was nothing to worry about with them, it was how she and Michael were with each other. They were very lovey. I didn't like it in the beginning, but I'd come to accept it for him, and because they were really close friends. And besides, it wasn't malicious. Karen just happened to be really friendly. She didn't mean any harm with him, and she didn't intentionally try and start trouble with me. There wasn't anything to worry about as far as her. It was after some more time that I realized where the true threat lied. In Diana.

And that reminded me.

“Hey by the way, did you get my message about my dress for the World Music Awards?”

“Oh! I did! The white one, right? Michael L. let it out a bit at the waist like you asked. He said that he'll stop by tomorrow and fit you.”

Perfect.

“You still wanna wear your hair the same way, right? Straight for today, and curly tomorrow?"

“Mhm," I nodded.

“Okie then,” she started in her girly voice being so excited. “Let’s make you gorgeous.”


***

“Welcome back!”

“It’s good to be back,” Michael joked, and I laughed with him and Dr. Follett as she led us smiling around with her into the checkup room, closing the door behind us as we walked inside. I peeled my baseball cap off and let out my hair, shaking it free in the straight length that Karen had ironed out. Michael kept his cap and goatee on, his disguise for the day keeping us incognito while we snuck over here. We were still keeping it secret from the media that I was pregnant, and that meant going the mile to do it. We'd parked twenty feet away from the building and then switched cars from a tall van to a small Cadillac, and then walked in together like a regular looking couple for their regular appointment. We'd walked in through the back entrance with no security on toe, but watching extremely carefully in the distance for us. No one spotted us on the way, and we'd made inside fine, thanks to the early morning appointment we'd booked too. All in all, the plan had gone perfect. If we kept this us we could at least make it on the road for Michael's first show before we were found out and our secret ruined.

Hopefully.

“So, you’re here for the full checkup.”

“Yes,” we both said, so eagerly.

“Alright, well I know you said that you have a busy day so I won’t take up too much of your time. You said that you’re leaving in two days?”

“Yes but please, take whatever time that you need to for this,” Michael waved with his free hand. “For this we have all the time in the world. Please don't rush.”

I looked up at him in astonishment. He was so eager and open talking to her, taking complete control as soon as we’d walked into the office to meet with security.

“Well, if I have the golden word from you,” she smiled, her eyes crinkling in a way that revealed her years and experience more than her words did.

“Ok Jessica,” she looked right at me and I smiled back. “You know what to do, your gown is on the chair, nothing on but that and I will be back in a second. Now we want an ultrasound, a prescription for a higher dose of prenatal vitamins, and we wanna talk flying while pregnant?”

“Yes,” we answered again, and I nodded my head quick for emphasis.

“Alright, I have my things for you in my office. I’ll go grab them, you both get settled and I’ll be back, and we’ll see how this baby’s doing!” She gave us that warm cozy smile of hers again, and with a tighter and sweeter wince of her eyes she backed out and closed the door behind us, and left us to do what she instructed.

I looked towards the door and my eyes traveled the walls to the pamphlets placed in docks all over, and my eyes slowly scanned the whole room, realizing that she’d put us in the same room as when we’d come in the last time, when we had only been hoping for pregnancy. And now it was happening. Now it had truly come true.

“Baby...”

I turned up to Michael, grimacing down at me.

“My hand,” he winced.

I looked down and saw my hand in a death grip on his, fingers intertwined and locked around and turning his blue.

“Oh, sorry...” I pulled my hand out from his hold as he clenched and released his fingers, getting back the circulation I’d taken away.

I could see him lifting head to look at me while he held his wrist up, stretching his fingers while he eyed me.

“Are you ok?” He asked me.

“I should be asking you,” I pointed. I really did do a number on his hand. Damn.

“Are you nervous?” He asked again.

I glanced up into his eyes, seeing his expression as he’d read mine.

“Yeah,” I admitted softly. “A little. And excited at the same time. We've been waiting so long for this.”

He smiled, watching me as he dropped his hand down, stepping closer.

“We're gonna see the baby,” he cooed, and it warmed me better than anything else could. He'd been so excited for this appointment, ever since we scheduled it. All he could do was talk about the baby, swoon and daydream about what would happen. Even everything that he’d said to me lately purposely included those two words. “The baby”. Even if the statement didn’t call for it. He just loved saying those two words whenever he could. This morning he’d asked me what the baby wanted for breakfast, and if the baby was hungry for lunch. He practically murmured it in his sleep by now. It was so sweet though.

There was nothing for me to say to reply to him, so I kept quiet. He lifted his hand up to hold my face, brushing his thumb across my cheek as his eyes softened and his mouth quirked in the loving way that made me feel so safe.

“Everything’s fine,” he hummed so warmly. “The baby’s fine. Everything’s going to be perfect.”

I smiled for him, as weak as it was, and felt my eyes fall closed as he kissed my forehead.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” he whispered on my skin, and I took a deep breath, taking his words and letting them soothe me. I believed him, it was just those jitters of nervousness and anxiety that I had, I was anxious to see, I wanted to see our baby and know that everything was ok.

When he pulled back and started rubbing my arms it reminded me that I wasn’t undressed yet, and I turned to the chair to see my gown still on it.

“Oh, I gotta change,” I said out loud before looking straight to him. “Help me undress?”

He smirked at me in that naughty way that only Michael could, even in the most inappropriate situations, and I laughed at him and shook my head while I turned to grab the gown, going back to let him help me pull my camisole off, and unhook my bra. I took all the rest off once he’d tied the gown on at the back and once he was done I should have known to pull away before tempting him too long....his nasty self slid his hand inside the gown and took a good squeeze at the goods before I jolted and spun to slap his hand away. He was just dying from it of course, and I shook my head and gave him my weak shaming face. I folded my clothes up while we small-talked and waited for Dr. Follett to return, and sitting on the chair I felt the butterflies again.

“I wanna know the sex is so bad,” I whispered.

“Of the baby?” he asked. There it was again.

I nodded. “I know it’s too early but I’m dying to know. And I wanna start shopping now,” I groaned. “I saw the cutest clothes in this baby catalog at the hospital and they’d look so good on either a girl or a boy. I gotta show you when we get back home. They’re adorable. They have footsie pajamas and and bibs everything. I died.”

He grinned and nodded. “I bought another doll.”

“Another one?” I gasped.

“I was looking through those brochures and I asked Chamia to have them get me one. What if ends up being Ari’s favorite toy, you know?”

I paused and frowned. “Ari?”

He nodded. “Short for Aria.”

I froze.

“Like a melody, a song. She makes me sing...” he looked down at my stomach and a dreamy look came upon his eyes, and it took my breath away.

“Aria,” I whispered, saying it again. It made my stomach flip. It sounded so good...it instantly resonated with me...I had to admit....it was beautiful....

“Gentle song,” he repeated, and I brought my hand to my stomach, imagining features there, a beautiful little girl, with the name of a melody.

And then I stopped again.

“Wait!” I frowned up at him. “A, that’s not fair, I didn’t even get to think of a name with you, and B, what if it’s a BOY,” I reminded him.

He shrugged quickly. “Well then, we’ll name him Michael.”

We broke spat out laughing, giggling and hunching over while Dr. Follett knocked and came in at Michael’s answering.

“Well, you two are having a good time,” she mused strolling in, and I sat up straight to move into my seat as Michael stood and brought his chair closer to me, holding onto the edge of my bed.

“We’re just joking around,” I told her, and I glanced up at Michael with the humor still fresh in his eyes, just displaying his happiness and not shielding from her at all. I loved this Michael right now.

“Well that’s good.” She set her things down at the table, a big pill bottle rattling in her hand as she set it down also. “This is a happy occasion. You should laugh and be happy and joyful,” she smiled at me. I could just feel Michael’s giddy grin back.

“So...time to talk baby,” she held out her hands, and my eyes went to the pills again.

“Your folic acid,” she started. “800mcg per tablet, take it once a day. We’re in your first trimester so we want everything growing and developing as it should and we want baby to be getting all the nutrients that he or she needs to prevent any complications. We’re in your most crucial time, right?”

“Right,” we agreed.

“Right, so take these every day, and your B12--and you said that you already had sufficient B12 supplements, right?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “I’ve been eating pretty balanced, but I still take a pill every day, especially if I’ve had more sweets than regular food.”

“Oh,” her eyes widened. “So you’re having a sweet tooth huh??” She grinned while we started laughing and I shamefully had to admit that I had a more than a sweet tooth, and more than I should lately.

“Nothing wrong with a little sweetness as long as you’re getting the nutrients and balanced meals that you need.”

I agreed.

“So how’s morning sickness been? Or evening sickness in your case?”

I recapped the past few days in order. “It’s been pretty regular. I get nauseous at least once a day, sometimes I lose my food but after I drink some seltzer and relax I’m ok. Usually the nausea just comes and goes.”

“When was the very last time you got sick?”

“Last night again,” I laughed, and she laughed too.

“Ok good. Any stomach aches? Cramping? Sharp pains in the abdomen?” she asked.

“No, no, and no.” I was happy to answer that.

“Any spotting besides what you last told me?”

I was so grateful to answer no to that too.

“Ok,” she beamed. “Good! Let’s look at baby, then!”

I felt the excited pang in my stomach and sat myself up in my seat as she came over, grabbing the gel and a towel to cover me decently while she pushed up my gown dress. My stomach was exposed to the warmed air and the diamonds glinted for everyone to see, as she paused in her spot and her mouth formed a surprised “o” at the sight.

“Oh yeah,” I laughed nervously. “Um, I had my stomach pierced since we last saw you.”

She looked up at me with her still surprised expression while Michael chuckled nervously and touched the edge of his knuckles at my side waiting for her response. And before I could even let her answer, or scold me, I told her, “I’m taking it out soon though.”

She gathered herself looking at me quick enough to straighten herself and answer, back to her friendly smile, pointing out. “You know, you’re actually the fourth patient that I’ve had with their belly button having a ring. And they’re all fairly recent visits, too! The first that I had come in about a month ago, I didn’t even know what to say to her because it was the first time I’d seen it! I’d never seen a patient with a stomach ring before! They’re becoming really popular now I guess!”

Yep. I glanced at Michael and he was staring down at my stomach, eyes looking at the ring not seeming sure if it was a friend or foe right about now. I could almost see him trying to determine it in his head.

“Well you’ll be able to get the news sooner than she did, and you won’t have to wait for me to tell you that; they’re actually not harmless.”

I glanced up at her again. “Seriously?”

She nodded and hummed moving forward to touch the edge carefully. “Is this metal?”

“Yes,” I told her. “I got it done by a professional; he gave me a pure metal ring so it wouldn’t get infected.”

“And have you had any problems with the ring? Any infections or anything?”

“No,” I shook my head, and she analyzed it more, more for herself than for medical reasons it seemed now. That was funny to me that it was something so new to her. Guess it was becoming a big trend now.

“Jessie....”

I glanced over at Michael as the doctor’s voice cut in making me turn.

“---What I would say just to be safe though, to be honest?” I glanced back at Dr. Follett mid-expression, and she raised her brows at me, readying me for her quick reply.

“Take it out.” she made a shrugging expression as she looked at me. “Just to be safe. Just because this is such a new pregnancy, and you don’t want something like a little ring causing any complications that can hurt the baby, especially if it gets infected or torn or anything risky like that. If this is going to be your first child, just for neurotic, overcautious purposes, I would take it out,” she nodded. “What will it hurt, you know?” And somehow her last sentences sent the memory dinging in my head. Infection. I DID get an infection.

“Oh crap,” I blurted, stopping her in the middle of her talking again. “I’m sorry—” I held a hand up. “I’m sorry, I forgot, I did, I did get an infection.” And my heart started racing. I looked over at Michael and he was looking intently and aware back at me. I think that was what he had been trying to tell me. Oh damn.

I glanced back at the doctor quick as she paused and waited openly for me to continue. “A week or two ago, we went into the Jacuzzi at our house and it got infected. We cleaned it, Michael helped clean it for me and afterwards it was fine....is that a problem? Do you think that caused a problem for me?” Suddenly I felt sick again, and it wasn’t from the baby. It was a queasy, scared feeling. I suddenly felt so scared for the baby.

“What was the drainage like?”

“It was a just a little bit of puss,” I told her, “the skin was swollen and it just had white and clear discharge around it.”

“Yeah,” Michael added, “it wasn’t too bad when I cleaned it for her, it was just mostly swollen and it had dried at night while we were sleeping so it was kind of crusty when she felt it aching.”

I looked to him again as he spoke to her openly, not even seeming afraid like I felt right now. He was acting so calmly about it. I thought he would be the one freaking out now.

She looked between the both of us and stopped at me, and mouthed, You’re fine.

I froze and she said it again. “I think you’re fine.”

My heart felt like it beat a million times faster from that, and her next words only made that pang in my stomach happen again as she nodded, “You know what? Let’s look at the baby, let’s see how they’re doing for ourselves and we can talk more about it.”

“Ok,” I whispered, my mouth suddenly so dry. “And can we take the ring out right now? I don’t want it anymore,” I shook my head hard and then felt Michael brushing his fingers on my hand, and I knew that he was calming me. He felt me getting scared.

“You wanna take it out now?” She asked.

“Yes,” I nodded, taking Michael’s hand. “I just don’t wanna risk anything. We don’t wanna risk anything with this baby. This is our first baby and I don’t want any mistakes.”

“The questions about infection aren’t to scare you, I don’t want to terrify you to not keeping anything, but we want to make sure that anything invasive that you have isn’t harming the baby as well, but if you’d like to take it out now I’m certainly not opposed to it. I’ve never twisted them or screwed them in, or whatever you do,” she laughed, “So if you wanna wash your hands and do it yourself, or if you’d like Michael to do the honors, being the father?”

I looked up at Michael who turned to me at the same time, and I waited for his answer as he smiled so happily at his name.

“Of course,” he smirked.

I smiled back at him and he got up from his chair to go wash his hands long and carefully, and when he came back he leaned over me and put his long hands on my stomach, holding the pendant up and holding the ball gently and carefully as I told him to, and carefully he unscrewed the metal ball, until it was completely off and as we watched in silence as he did it, almost like a ceremony. It was crazy how much it meant something big just then, that it was like a transition in our lives. Young, carefree Jessie had to be put away. Momma Jess was taking her place.

He pulled it out as slowly and carefully as when he started, and when it was completely removed he lifted his hands and dropped it into his palm, gesturing out to the doctor as she gave a wonderfully pleased expression, clapping her hands for us.

“Congratulations!” She mused at us grinning. “You’ve just made your first change as a mother!”

It was like she was in my head.


***
---

I held Jessie’s hand as the doctor brought the instrument, searching around her stomach among the goo she squeezed onto it as the black screen showed stripes and spots and blurs of black and white. And then a weird shape came into the screen, and the shape moved, and turned as she moved her hand.

“It’s back here...before I go on what are you hoping for?”

“A girl,” I spurted before Jessie jumped in with “a boy.” We looked at each other and started laughing again, and the doctor had started laughing at us. She was probably used to this.

“We want twins too,” I told her. God twins would be perfect. Anything was perfect. This was perfect. Just the baby in its essence.

“Oh, twins huh? You have twins in the family?”

“On my side we do,” I answered. I thought of Marlon and the twin brother that he was supposed to have when he was born. Brandon. He’d died right after birth. My mother was so heartbroken when she’d lost him. She hurt so badly after that, and then they tried again and had me a year later to make up for it. There would have been ten children in our family. Can you believe that? Ten kids living in the little old house. We really got by.

“All the twins come from my mother’s side of the family,” I repeated.

“Oh so there’s a chance, then,” she rose a teasing brow and turned to Jess, and as I looked at her she looked down smiling, bringing her eyes to the screen.

“Ok so...it’s a little....a little blurry here, let me zoom out and scan so we can see...and you’ll see...there. There, very nice. You’ll see a dark spot right here. Do you see it? Right...here,” she pointed up and we watched as she circled the area with her fingertip.

“There’s your baby.”

“Oh my god,” I breathed out.

“It’s not twins,” she laughed. “Maybe next time, but we do have a baby nested in there. Right now it just looks like a little dot, but that’s because right now your baby is at the “yolk” stage. There’s a yolk sac surrounding him/her and it’s giving him/her all the nutrients that you as mommy are eating now.”

I sat there in shock, just going limp staring in awe at that screen at the small dot that was my baby. My child. Our miracle together was forming, our baby was there growing in her belly and we could see.

I turned to Jess and her eyes were already glued. She hadn’t said anything, she was watching still and wordlessly, eyes held glued onto the screen. I didn’t waste anymore time watching her and let my own eyes go back to the miraculous image of the life in her womb. The life growing, living inside her. It was so amazing. Oh my god it was so amazing.

“He’s attached and inside the uterus, beautiful, we don’t have to worry about an ectopic pregnancy and that’s great. That’s what we want to see. Let me zoom in to show you...here’s the embryo....here’s the amniotic sac...and here’s---where the placenta is attached right now. As you grow all of this will grow and your baby’s going to form and blossom out even bigger inside you, they’re gonna form limbs, and organs and everything over the next couple of weeks. And then in about five weeks we should be able to able to determine the sex of this baby,” she glanced back and was grinning, and I watched her in awe too. Just everything had me speechless at that moment. Everything was mind-blowing.

I saw a movement at the corner of my eye and looked up to see Jessie, wiping her eyes and staring quietly. My heart turned to mush as I looked at her, and Dr. Follett paused silently, putting her arm out to touch her knee, patting her gently. I felt like the most blessed man in the world. Just everything in that moment...everything that this meant to me...I couldn’t take it, I leaned over and kissed her softly, and wordlessly she turned her head into me, resting against me and closing her eyes in my chest while I held her and brushed her hair. The doctor was polite enough to wait while she sat just smiling at us, and then moving her stick again and finding her place on the screen to show us even more.

I looked back down at Jess, openly tearing now as she stared red-eyed at the screen, still not talking. I kissed her again, holding her to me as I bent my head down to kiss the side of her face, moving to her ear whispering. “That’s our baby.”

She sniffed and buried her face deeper, looking up at me and smiling while her lips quirked at me and she rested her head back whispering.

“That’s our world in there.”


***

The doctor took a photograph of the picture, and as she handed to us and we tried our hardest to keep focusing on her as she talked to us about tour, and the schedule we should keep as far as check ups and appointments to see how the baby is doing. I offered to have her arranged to fly to come and see us, but like I kind of knew, she said that had other patients here to continue to see that she constantly met with. She gave us her number and contact information, and told us to still keep contact with her and to call for anything. She was so kind and sweet, I was grateful that we had her and it meant so much that she wanted us to still be in close contact. Even through the check-ups that we had while traveling we promised that we’d keep her up to date with everything, and that we’d send pictures. I had Kevin take all her information and give her mine, and before we left we let our people settle everything technical with the office, as we walked out ahead with security, feeling so giddy. Before we went around to the back we went into one of the rooms for privacy while we put our disguises back on. Jessie tied her long straight hair up and put on a baseball cap and I put the beard and mustache that I’d had back on as we snuck out through the back, holding hands and literally skipping to the decoy jeep, no one even noticing the girl with the sweatpants with the bearded man on the street.

“We’re going to have a baby,” I sang, “We’re going to have a baby.”

“And we’re not telling anybody,” she added, and we both stumbled laughing, me letting her lead into the car first before I climbed in after. I felt Jess’ arms snake around mine before I could even pull the door closed, and just as I turned around she squeezed me, nestling into me before she slid up and climbed onto me, resting across the seat with her head in my lap looking up beaming. I grinned and brought my hand to her face, squeezing her cheeks into a fish face while her lips puckered up and I laughed, going to her nose and pinching it. I felt so silly today. I felt so happy. I felt on top of the world!

I took the brim of her hat and lifted it up from her face to see those pretty eyes, and they were glinting, as I brushed her hair out from her vision so she could see only me.

“No more belly ring,” she shook her head, and though I felt a small part of me die inside, a bigger part of me was still too high from seeing our tiny baby.

“No more piercings,” I added nodded.

“Just me and this big ‘ol belly,” she brought her hands to her stomach and made tapping sounds like she had a ginormous stomach, and not the small stomach that she had now.

“Oh you’ll have your chance baby,” I smirked, leaning down and kissing her quickly. And then I heard her gasp before she stared at me. “Give it two more months.”

Her jaw dropped open. “--Did you just curse me??”

I paused seeing her look at me horrifyingly, and I sat and grinned, pretending like I wasn’t about to laugh. “No....”

“You did,” she accused.

“No I didn’t!” I told her.

“Yes you did!” She pointed. “You just cursed me!”

“I didn’t!” I held up my hands, and now I was, now was openly laughing.

“You want me to have a big belly!” she slapped me.

“I don’t!”

“You want me to be fat and round with a big belly!”

“I never said that!” I shook my head hard for her. “I didn’t. I thought it, but I didn’t say it!”

Her mouth dropped open and then she flew in and started pinching me and I started laughing so hard, hunching over and grabbing her hands to protect myself. We were alone in the backseat, hearing everyone from security laughing at us from the front, the only other ones who knew. And as long as we could we would milk it out just between the two of us...our beautiful, precious, hopefully soon to be pink-wearing little secret.

They sat on the edge of the bed, fresh new glasses in hand, and a spread of wine and champagne bottles now in a line on the floor. They’d taken up their own wine tasting tests, and they compared and contrasted all the rich decadent flavors and the ones they favored. So far they’d agreed that the Cabernet had been the best, the Sangria was a close second and Pinot Grigio had been a favorite third. Their tongues were sweet with the flavors and now their heads were heavy with it. They’d taken a cup from each individually, but together they had drank a whole bottle’s worth.

Natalie took another long sip as Jackie looked out into the room, holding his weight on one hand as he leaned back and savored it.

“I think that the Pinot Grigio might be hitting the Cabernet off for first place,” he murmured. “Maybe it’s just me. I’ve had too much to tell.”

She laughed shortly and took another sip. “It is just you, then. I’m still for the Cabernet.”

He smirked, realizing that he’d made her laugh again that evening. Either he really was that drunk or he was on a roll. He looked at her, sitting with her legs crossed and her bare feet dangling, her toes painted a red that matched her whole look for the day and her legs glowing with whatever oil she’d adorned them with for the night. He took in her appearance again, and wondered why if she was so dressed up, that she was here and not downstairs partying?

“Can I ask you something--” He started.

“Nope,” she finished, smiling.

He shook his head laughing and spoke again anyways. “You’re all dressed up and everything. You look real nice. Why are you up here and not downstairs celebrating with your friends?”

Her smile slowly, gradually molded back into seriousness as she looked away.

“Cause I don’t want to celebrate,” she said. And that was it.

“Why don’t you wanna celebrate?” he asked. “Your friend’s gettin married.”

She looked down into her lap, holding her cup down in her hand as she looked in the reflection of the red liquid.

“She looks real happy,” he added. “Don’t you wanna be happy with her?”

“Yeah she’s happy,” she muttered finally, bitterly. “But for how long?”

“Pardon?” He said.

She stayed silent, looking up and blinking away her distant thoughts. She lifted her cup up for another sip.

“Don’t you wanna support your friend? Don’t you wanna be there for her?”

She was still as she answered. “I hardly wanna support something that I don’t believe is right.”

He frowned at that, and let his brows furrow in his confusion. “What does that mean?”

She stopped and turned to him, looking him in the eyes and seeing similar features to the one of the person that she couldn’t stand most. “Your brother’s not a saint, you know.”

“I never said that he was,” he shook his head.

She stared at him, his waiting face, unrealizing of what she meant, and she scoffed shortly, turning away.

He paused and rose a brow at her, feeling confused, and then feeling defensive on his brother’s behalf. He tilted his glass, “And hey, from what he’s told me your friend wasn’t exactly miss perfect to him, either.”

Oh really, now. “Oh please,” she scoffed. “Compared to all the sh*t she’s put herself through for him she can act however the hell she wants and he still has no right to complain. He’s lucky that she’s even with him. He’s lucky she even gave him another chance.”

“Whoa,” he leaned forward, staring on at her seeing this new aggressive side. “Am I missing something here? You’re talkin like you got a bone to pick with somebody. You got a problem with my brother?”

“I don’t have the problem,” she shook her head, her face in hard stubborn lines.

He wasn’t sure how to answer that. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to. She caught the look in his expression and let out her breath, shaking her head and flipping her hair as she turned away. “Whatever. You wouldn’t understand anways.”

He still paused and she didn’t give him a chance to answer before she leaned down and grabbed the bottle to pour herself another cup. She lifted it up to her mouth and glanced at him, noticing his suit and the dark grey color that contrasted against his dark skin. Among the features that she knew looked just like Michael’s, he had many differences, for one, he was bigger. Much bigger. He was stalky, muscular and lean. He had weight to him, and it showed. He had soft easy looking eyes, and high cheekbones that seemed a trademark for the Jackson family. And his nose, seeming untouched and un-altered sat proportioned to the features of his face, and strangely added to his masculinity. Michael had a certain style; where he had no specific way of dress or clothing that defined his gender. His dress code went against the rules for ways of dress that defined masculinity or femininity. His brother though, there was no mistaking that he was very male.

She noticed that she stared at him for too long, and she noticed that he’d caught her at it. She quickly looked down, ignoring the warm smile in his gaze and quickly gathering herself again. She cleared her throat and looked up again, a quick blink changing the look in her eyes to scorning. “You look so stiff right now….relax,” she threw. “Take off your jacket or something, damn,” she waved at him. “You’re making me feel stiff just looking at you.”

He frowned and looked down at himself, and looked at his suit jacket on over his cocktail shirt. With a pause and a glance back to her encouraging him with her sarcastic look he placed his glass on the floor, shedding his jacket easily, and tossing it to the bed. He held his hands out for her approval and she gave him a regal smile, not giving away whether she was too pleased or not. And he smiled and leaned over again, picking up his cup and taking a long sip.

She took those few quick seconds to look over him again, seeing that in fact her deductions were right. He had a lot of muscle to him. And this layer of clothing really let it show. The bright white of the shirt contrasted starkly with his skin, the collar of it unbuttoned and open at the nape, showing off sharp clavicle bones that dipped in and warned of other sharply defined muscles lower that couldn’t be seen. He took the glass from his mouth lifting his head up and she pulled her eyes away, turning to take another drink herself, ignoring him looking at her from her side.

He could admit silently…she was a beautiful young woman. She couldn’t be older than thirty. But then again he could be wrong. She had the sharpness of an older and established woman. She seemed independent. Was she taken? Did she have children? He glanced down quickly at her left hand placed demurely in her lap and there was no ring to be seen. He didn’t see anyone hanging around her at the party either. Could she be single?

What better way to find out than just asking himself?

He cleared his throat, and just as he was about to ask her she stood up from her place on the bed and walked over to the counter, taking her glass with her as she got more ice to chill. In her movement it had him following her direction, and as she faced the opposite way from him he got a better view of all of her curves, her shapely figure even more defined in her dress. She had a small waist, that flared out into curved hips, her butt casually protruding from the dress showing that she was not lacking in that area at all.

She felt a stillness, quietness behind her and she turned her head to see if he were still there, and a second too late he’d realized it, lifting his eyes up and glancing away just as she’d caught him.

She rose an amused brow, turning back to face forward and feeling the corner of her mouth turn up in a crooked smile. Men.

“So---um,” he cleared his throat again, face hot from the embarrassment of being caught looking at her. “Did you come here with anyone else or are you just with your friends? Is your husband downstairs too?”

She spat laughing, taking the bowl of fresh ice with her and walking back to where he was; the edge of a new swing in her hips. Jackie tried not to notice it.

“No. No husband,” she stressed.

Excellent. “Boyfriend?” he asked calmly.

“No boyfriend,” she sang. “Thank God no boyfriend.”

Perfect. Even better. “Oh. So uh….” He fought to keep his voice controlled. “Any kids?”

She stared at him silently, and then started to laugh. The sound surprised him, but it was a pleasant surprise. He felt himself smiling at her while staring in confusion for a second. “Wh—What’s so funny?”

She calmed her voice down enough to look at him. “You are.”

He wasn’t sure what exactly that meant, but when she walked over to his side and moved back to her seat on the edge, she was looking at him and smiling, crossing her legs again. “That was really clever. You worked into that pretty well. Casually asking me if I’m taken or not. I gotta admit--I didn’t see it coming.”

His smirk grew wider as he leaned back on his hands. “Just wanna see what my chances are.”

She laughed again, and this time he joined in with her. “I’m just kidding,” he added softly, eyes going gentle.

“No you’re not,” she said low.

He paused and looked back at her, and she was staring full on at him, the seriousness in her gaze. A sudden weight grew in the silence between them. She held his stare in a quiet challenge, and it dared him to meet hers equally, and he found that he couldn’t back down.

She was suddenly intrigued by him. His unrelenting stare made her want to probe him even more, see how strong he really was, how confident he really could be. She wanted to see it for herself.

She blinked and leaned forward, swirling the wine in her hands. “Your turn. Now tell me…you got a wife? Kids?”

He didn’t have a wife. But he told her that he had two children, age eighteen and fourteen. Their mother and he divorced almost ten ago and since then he was single and focusing on his music career. He talked a little about that career, and his projects that included writing music and helping his aspiring son record music himself. Nat found herself actually listening, interested in his passion for those things as he spoke about his family and his dreams. It wasn’t the same shallow dreams that she was used to hearing from other men. This guy was actually family oriented. It made him more…tolerable, to her.

He finished talking and looked at her bashfully, chuckling and apologizing. She didn’t mind, but of course she teased him like she did. He thought that was cute about her. She was pushing his buttons for fun. She was playing with him. He didn’t mind playing along too.

“Really though. You look too good to be cooped up here all by yourself.” He leaned back down on his elbows, swallowing the last gulp of liquid in his glass.

“I’m not by myself though, remember?” She smirked at him and he nodded and laughed, giving her his best grin again.

“And anyways, I’m fine right now. Why….” Her voice lowered and she leaned over, her drunken weight making her lean in heavier towards him on the bed, “You trying to get rid of me?”

His gaze lowered to meet hers. “No. Not at all.”

“Cause I’m fine right here,” she repeated, and her red lips were like moving in slow motion to him.

“So am I,” he answered, and his voice came out lower than he’d intended. And was he just seeing things? Or had she moved in closer? She was inches away from him, and he could smell the waft of her perfume from next to him.

“And besides…who says we can’t have our fun up here?” she whispered. He wasn’t seeing things. She was so much closer. She was leaning just over him now, their bodies nowhere near touching, but her hair fell over the side of her face, bringing her eyes out to him. Eyes that were lowered staring into his.

He had to try twice before speaking again. “No one. No one says we can’t.”

“Good answer,” she whispered, and her lips were on his.

Bodies…heat…their clothes were strewn everywhere in a mess on the bed as their bodies scrambled against each other and their hands were in a tangle, him dragging her body up onto the pillows as his lips burrowed into her neck, his hand sliding up her leg and removing the last barrier between them. Few words were spoken, words made of consent, she assured him of their safety and with that last breath he lay over her, spreading her legs wide and scorching himself in her heat, to the point of no return.

She tried to dominate him, tried to push him over but his hands were too strong, he held her down in the bed, searing kisses across her body as his hands played over her skin, touching her, teasing her. He held her up effortlessly in his hands as he drove into her over again, and soon the weight of it within her left her sinking in his arms, throwing her head back and letting out the carnal sound she’d struggled to keep. She wanted to save herself the sloppiness, the lack of skill if he hadn’t had any. But now she knew he was experienced, and she let him take it into his own hands.

Every thrust sent her spinning and careening, every push left her wordless, until unintelligible sounds came out. She wrapped her legs around his waist tight, becoming greedy, selfish, arching her back and taking all that she could as he gave, and gave, and send her crashing down….crashing down into unconscious oblivion, into ecstasy, until she was undone.

And then she came undone.

With his own release he collapsed over her, holding still for a moment to feel her body clenching around him, and pleasured roll of his eyes he closed them, sucking in air and getting the scent of her cinnamon skin and hair. Finally pulling away he rolled his weight off from her so as he wouldn’t crush her frame. He huffed out on his side, looking at her chest heaving up and down, licking her smeared lips and letting out another harsh exhale. He lifted a hand up under his head and watched her, saw her body, hard dark tipped and hard breasts, her flat and sculpted stomach, the shaped line of her womanhood. And he remembered being there.

The wave of emotions had him bringing his hand up to brush across her cheek, caressing her unbelievably smooth skin as she looked up through her mussed hair at him. He had the full force of her gorgeous eyes again, and in-between the breaths that he worked to catch he smiled at her, silently appreciative to her of the moment.

He brushed his large hand down her front, languidly across her stomach as she laid there watching him, silent enough for the both of them combined. She felt the waves of their pleasure subsiding, felt the aftermath of endorphins as they faded away, and as her consciousness came back and she realized what they had done. Another conquest, another man slain. And now that she had him she knew what would come next, and what she had to do then. It was time to drop the hammer before he could. I mean look at him, she’d almost forgotten for a moment that he was famous. He would be the one to do it before she did. They always do.

But not as long as she was around.

She took his hand from her, and dropped it back onto his own chest, pulling her hand away as she gathered her breath…. “I think you should go.”

He paused in his movement, not sure of what he heard. “Sorry?”

“This was nice,” she continued, “But now that we’re done you can go. I’ll save you the trouble of coming up with an excuse yourself.”

His brows furrowed as he watched her doubtfully. Instead of prolonging the unneeded silence she moved back from him, pushing herself up on her hands and sitting up to look down at him, not bothering to be shy or cover herself up. He’d just seen it all; there was no point in trying to act polite now after what she’d just done with him. She never understood why girls did that either. It seemed almost fake.

“I---I’m not sure I understand what you’re sayin,” he frowned.

“I’m saying goodnight,” she nodded.

He paused, looking at her silently, trying to decide whether he’d missed something or not.

She let out a short laugh, shaking her head and raising a lined brow haughtily to him. “You got what you came for didn’t you? You’re all set. Your work’s done for the day.”

He frowned deeper, the lines creasing his smooth face. “I’m…”

“—Done here,” she finished. “You can go. I’m just saving you time here, buddy.” She smirked at him. “I’m not goin to bed anytime soon so if you’re looking for a chance to sneak out in the night while I’m not looking, you’re not gonna get it. Go now while you still can, while I’m still being nice to you. Oh and don’t worry---” she leaned closer, whispering. “I won’t tell anyone.”

He was so stuck, he didn’t get why she was telling him to leave. Hadn’t they just---didn’t she want him to stay around a little longer? He wasn’t sure just what to say. He was so thrown off by that. She was asking him to leave? Had he been---had it been bad? Was it bad for her? Did he do something wrong?

“I’m sorry,” he shook his head, blinking in his so apparent confusion to her. “But did I---” His words cut off. “Was it---”

“Was it bad for me?” She finished his sentence. “No. It was pretty good, really good, to be honest. I just don’t see the need for you to hang around now that you got what you wanted. There’s no trivia in it really. I’m giving you a free pass to go. Usually I’m not so nice about it, but you did open my wine, so…” she let her words die off and end in a knowledgeable smirk, and he still looked at her the same way. He just didn’t understand.

“You want me to go?”

She kept her languid expression at him and shrugged wordlessly.

“But---I thought we were having a good time.”

“We were,” she said easily. “And now it’s over.”

He frowned deeper, truly not getting this. “Why do you want me to leave then? Didn’t you…didn’t you enjoy it?” He was sure that he didn’t have to specify what it was.

She rose a brow at him. “Yeah? And?”

“We could have more of it, if you just gimme a few minutes,” he offered.

For the first time then her face faltered, and she looked at him blankly, her voice stuttering. “I---I’m not sure that you---”

“You just said that you liked it, right? That’s what you said?” he nodded.

She frowned now. “Yeah, but I didn’t mean---”

“—Then why end here?” He cut in, saying matter-of-factly. And her words died off, watching him as if he were suddenly a strange man before her. “We still have the rest of the night ahead. Not exactly like I put on my best performance over there,” he shrugged, chuckling. “Come back with me to my room and I promise I’ll make it even better.”

She stared at him blankly, going through his words and trying to figure out a proper way to respond to them. She hadn’t been prepared for this direction.

“It’s only what—ten? It’s still early in the night. Just come back to my place.”

Go back with him? What? What was he talking about? “What the hell are you talking about,” she finally said.

“What, suddenly you don’t understand English?” he chuckled, lifting up his hand to motion it, “You, come back, with me. To my room. For more sex.”

Her frown deepened as she openly watched him confusedly, not comprehending this.

“Let’s go back to my place and I’ll show you what I mean from there,” he smirked, the sweet sinful challenge in his eyes. “We don’t want your girlfriend to come upstairs if we’re gonna do this all night,” he laughed low, the voice of a man with full knowledge of what he meant. He stood up and grabbed his pants from the bed, covering himself before he knelt down to pull them on. He leaned over to grab his shirt, handing it to her.

“It’s a short walk,” He shrugged. “Just put this on. My room’s just down the hall.”

She stared at the shirt in his hand like it was foreign object. She didn’t understand this. She’d shot him down. Why was he offering this? Why was he offering more pleasure? She tried to go with her better judgment, but this certainly had thrown her off and clouded her mind from thinking clearly. It sounded tempting…more sex with him. And he’d offered to make it worth her while. If it had felt that great with just a quick one like what they had, she was curious what he could achieve with taking his time. But that was the problem. Time. She was spending more time with him. She wasn’t supposed to do that. She was supposed to treat him like she did every other man…love him and leave him with a hurt ego and heart. She could just stay alone in the room tonight, stay here by herself and be fine. She wouldn’t be bothered tonight….everyone else was at the party downstairs. But then again, everyone was at the party. Having fun. Not thinking about her.

“I’m not asking you to move in, Natalie. I just wanna…do that again. Do you again,” his grin widened, his saccharine expression entailing everything that he said and meant.

Her eyes flicked up at him quickly as his bent down to her, the humor glittering in his eyes as leaned in closer. “Come on, baby. Don’t you wanna see what else we can do?”

She watched the glint in his gaze as his eyes lowered, promising sweet, and wonderful things. He sealed his proposition with his lips over hers, and her eyes fell closed feeling him, and giving into the embrace. Of course he was teasing her with it. He loved teasing her. It seemed like it was what he lived for tonight.

She pushed him away and let out a tiny scoff, glancing down and hiding the blush well under her skin as she heard him laughing low as she looked to see the shirt still in his outstretched hand, a hand that led up to his long sinewy muscled arms that had just been wrapped around her just a minute ago.

“I’ve got more drinks at my place too. You liked the Cabernet, right?” he teased further, baiting her for the catch.

She lifted her hand to comb her hair back, ignoring his comment and letting herself think for another long second. One side of her conscience told her to that she didn’t need to be around him any longer, and certainly wasn’t smitten with his skills that badly. The sex hadn’t been that great. She should stick with the plan and send him away. And the other side told her that it wasn’t hurting her ego to do this. She would just be spending a little more time with him tonight, having her fun. Besides, it wasn’t like she had anything else pressing to do here. It wasn’t like anyone else was needing her presence right now. No one else was even thinking about her. Why not have a little more selfish pleasure for herself?

And with that idea, in the next moment without preamble she reached out to pull the shirt out of his hold and bring it down to herself, hesitantly undoing the buttons and pulling it over herself.

He smirked at her silently, glad with her wordless acceptance of his offer. He waited patiently while she buttoned up the shirt on herself, noting how great it looked on her soft body…and he moved around to grab his other things as she stood up from the bed, pulling the long hem of the shirt over her thighs, smoothing it out aimlessly around her. Jackie slipped his feet back into his shoes, going around the bed to meet her as she looked up at him, the conflict still in her mind. He wouldn’t give her another chance to doubt it or change her mind, he stepped forward and held his hand out to her. The movement startled her for a moment and she stepped back, but he ignored the motion and went to grab her hand gently, pulling her forward as he headed to the door. She followed him weakly, being tugged along with him before he got to the door, opening it and holding it to wait for her to meet him as he rested a hand at the small of her back and gently pushed her through. She moved with his direction, still frowning as he shut off the light and closed the door behind them. When he stepped forward and saw her looking up at him still with that puzzlement in her eyes, he chuckled low to himself smiling down at her.

“You shouldn’t frown so much, baby. You’re just gonna put creases in that pretty face.”

That only made her frown harder, and he laughed harder at her, giving up, shaking his head.

“You’re not cute,” she glared at him, but it was too late for her words to have any effect. She’d agreed to this, and she was following him.

“Let’s go,” he pushed her forward again, pointing the direction down the hall. “I’m right down there.”

She followed him, walking by his side the few feet down the hallway as they met his door, not missing how his hand curved strongly around her side, holding her to him possessively. Any other time she would tell him to take his monkey paws off of her, and that she wasn’t his “baby” either…but the way that he did it….It didn’t feel like he was controlling her, but more like he was holding her delicately and carefully…it made her feel safe with him, somehow. She refused to admit to herself aloud though…she knew it was the alcohol talking. This was just another one night stand, and going back to his place was nothing more than her being bored and allowing him to give her more pleasure for the rest of the night. At least that’s what she would tell herself then.

Yet, she found herself eating her words, as he did more than just bring her pleasure. He’d entertained her, as they played card games brought by his nephews and nieces for the trip, and how late in the night they made passion again, and this time they took their time, exploring each other further, taking their free moments to learn each other’s bodies in depth, and he let her take the reins willingly. And at the end of it all they fell down into each to each other’s arms, embracing again, making aimless conversation before falling fast asleep.

The next morning she was lying in bed, staring into his slack face, watching him as he quietly snored before her. She held the blanket around herself solemnly, mind in the conflict of that morning and where she went wrong. She’d stayed with him way longer than expected, and she’d actually enjoyed it. And now it was the morning after; and she didn’t know what to do. She knew what lay ahead of her as soon as she opened that door. Was she ready for it? For the lashing that she would take from her best friend that she’d left dry yesterday night? She told herself yes, she told herself that she knew what she had done last night and was ready to take on the consequences from it, but looking into---what was his name again? Jackie---looking into Jackie’s eyes she almost wanted to stay here under his lifeless arm, have him protect her, keep her from the harshness of realizing what would happen when she stepped outside. She almost wanted last night back. Oh who was she kidding---she did want last night back. Last night she had felt….wanted again. She’d felt important. She’d felt appreciated. That was a far cry from how she’d felt all this time….how she’d felt this whole entire trip. How she’d felt in a long time since Jessie had been with Michael again.

She felt a sting of the emotions at the reminder of being strung along on this trip…the reason why. How was she supposed to act like she didn’t care when it had hurt her so much? To basically be used for someone else’s purpose? To be used and forgotten, and not paid mind to.

She really should be used to it by now…it had become so common, it was practically second nature to Jess, to forget about her whenever Michael was around. So then why did it still hurt? Why could she still feel the pain from it?

Her eyes started to sting as the raw and gruesome memory of that day long ago came back to her, the one of the so many months previously in London. The hardest of the rejections.


“So…Natalie…how…how is she? Is she doing ok?”
“You mean Jessie, right?” A laugh. “It’s ok, I know you do. Jessie’s fine. She’s doing great actually. She’s doing really well.”
“Oh. Well that’s good. I’m glad to hear that. That’s great.”

Nat stopped and closed her eyes, wishing the memory away, but now it only came back more vividly to her.

“Yeah, she works a lot now, but now that she has so much free time she gives it all to the kids again. And to us, of course.” She smiled.
Michael laughed a little, pushing away the sting of emotions realizing that Jessie was moving on with her life. He knew that she had…he knew that she would…he just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.
“That’s great for her,” he repeated. “That’s wonderful.”
“Yeah,” she smiled, taking another sip of her wine. “I can tell her that I’m with you if you want.”
“Oh, no you don’t have to. It’s ok.”
“Are you sure?” Nat paused. “I’m sure she’d wanna know how you’re doing. That you’re still hard at work and everything.”
Michael fought the lump in his throat, the dread of her hearing word of his crazy life, that he was still doing the same thing, proving her right.

He started at the thought, and shook his head. “No it’s fine, you can tell her I say hi though, when you get back home, I mean.”
She smiled at him slowly, almost reading his mind. “You did a great job, by the way. You look great too. I love the hair. The whole look,” she nodded. “Minus the blood shot eyes of course,” she added. “I see you still haven’t worked on getting your sleep.”
He laughed shortly. “Yeah…not really.” He looked at her closer, and really noticed her appearance. “You look great too, Nat. Really. You look beautiful.”
“Thanks,” she smiled.
“No seriously,” he pressed. “You always were beautiful, but you look even more wonderful tonight. That dress looks wonderful on you.”
She looked down at her outfit, the slinky black dress fitting tightly over her curves and she blushed under her dark skin. “Thanks.”
“So, how is it at home? Are you seeing anyone right now?”
“Nope, still single. Thanks for reminding me.”
His face turned red. “I—I’m sorry---I---”
“—I’m just teasing you Mike,” she nudged him. “Geeze, lighten up. This wine is supposed to loosen you, remember?”
“Yeah---yeah, you’re right,” he stuttered, going quickly to take another drink of his glass. Why was he so nervous with her?
He cleared his throat and pushed the nervousness away, and it allowed them to relax, and in time they were both chatting more comfortably again and laughing, sitting closer on the couch as he told stories of past traveling and work, and he noticed in the midst of it that he’d never seen her so happy before, smiling so consistently. It made him feel happy to see her that way.
She was catching her breath as he watched her silently, the smile clear in his words as he decided to voice his thoughts. “You should do that more often, you know.”
She stopped to look at him, the edge of the squint in her eyes. “Do what more often?”
“Laugh,” he told her. “You look so beautiful when you laugh.”
She smiled at him and picked her feet up on the chair, looking away from him. “Oh please.”
“It’s true,” he pressed, reaching out to catch her chin in his hand and lift her face up to his. “You’re very beautiful already, but when you laugh, it’s marvelous.”
She laughed at him, giggling as she looked into his eyes as equally red and glazed as hers. He smirked at her, loving that look in her face and admiring it, and her giggles died off as she took a short breath of air, her voice quieting as she became serious and simply stared at him, seeing his expression slowly turn serious to her.
Their eyes held in that moment, and she realized where they were…what was happening. She was suddenly aware of the heat of his hand on her skin, and the proximity of his mouth to hers, and with one movement she could close that distance.
So she did.
She felt his hands on her back, she found herself in his lap…his arms around her as his fingertips trailed down her body, caressing her skin as they met her thighs, holding her to him as she held his face and deepened the kiss. He tasted so sweet, and the way he held her, the way he reacted to her made her feel heady, and made her hunger for more. She slid her hands up into his hair and angled her head to take more of him, and he took it willingly moving his fingers up her skirt to meet with bare skin, and at the feeling of his touch so eagerly, so intimately against her she moaned for him, lifting herself in place for more.
But that one sound was enough to remind him. Where he was, what he was doing. And with whom.
He pulled his mouth away from her, barely getting a word in before she crushed her lips against him again, making him want to forget his conscience and go further, but that one thought was enough…and he pulled away, hands going to hers as she slid them down to his shirt, frantically pulling his buttons undone.
“Nat--” he tightened his hands over hers, stopping her. “Nat—Nat stop---we---I can’t do this. Natalie.” He pulled her hands down and pulled away from her lips against his neck, looking at her with horror, slowly realizing what it was that they’d almost done.
She finally looked at him, eyes heavy and glazed, and she blinked her fogginess away, making out the expression of apprehension on his face.
“I’m sorry. I can’t.” He said.
Her eyes searched his quickly, her breath lightly panting. “What?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.” He looked at her, the worry in his face, and slowly he started to push her away from him, moving her from his lap back to her seat, setting her down as he let go of her hands until he was completely separated from her, back to the positions they were in before the sudden madness. He stood up quickly from his seat, backing away more of a distance from her and staring down at her as he shook his head.
“Natalie we can’t---” he huffed, holding out his hand. “We can’t do this. It’s wrong.”
She didn’t know what to say. She could only sit there.
“This was a big mistake,” he shook again. “This never should have happened; Jess is….Jess is your best friend,” he reminded her. “Remember?” The most important person in your life? And the love of mine?
She stared at him blankly, and like that she realized what she had done.
She stopped, looking up at him with her frown. “Jess?”
He nodded, glad that she realized it too. He stood straight eyeing her with sureness, looking down at her from his far distance…If anything making her feel more miniscule to him.
“I—I didn’t,” she stuttered, looking straight. “You’re not even with her…” her voice trailed off.
“That’s not the point, we can’t do this. Not behind her back like this. It isn’t right.”
What could she say? She had nothing else to say. He’d shown her what she’d done. She’d betrayed her best friend. And with him, her ex-boyfriend, the man that she was still so in love with. She’d done such a disloyal and treacherous thing behind her back and on top of that she was faced with the fact that he’d not even received it. He’d rejected her cold. She couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t believe what she’d done and now she couldn’t believe that this was happening…she’d betrayed her…she’d betrayed her…
Michael caught the look in her eyes, the worry, and his stiff posture softened. His shoulders relaxed and he sighed walking forward to her, moving to sit down and carefully grab her hand.
“Natalie…I’m sorry…I didn’t mean for this to happen. I wish we could take it back---“
She shook at his words as she turned to him, and ripped her hand out of his hold, the pain, the last straw of the hurt piling into the humiliation and burning it all into one emotion. She glared at him eyes, hot and angry as that one emotion was formed, churned, into anger. Hot, boiling anger at him.
He noticed the change, and his brows furrowed in concern. “Natalie, are you ok—“
“I’m FINE,” she snapped, gathering her composure as she looked away and grabbed her bag from the floor, pulling down her skirt as she stood up from him.
“Let me get my driver for you,” Michael called after her. “He’ll take you home. You shouldn’t be out there alone this late at night.”
“I said I’m FINE,” she barked again, going around him as he watched her and she ripped her coat up from the seat. “I’ll call a cab myself,” she bit, seeing red in her vision. She stumbled down, pulling her heels up on her feet and fixing them fumbling clumsily before she turned around and headed to the doorway, leaving a wordless Michael looking after her, not knowing what to say. It was clear that she was angry now. And angry Natalie meant a bad anything. Now he was afraid, but not just of her, but because he knew that after she left there was one person that she could call and tell about this. And that one person would only hear one of two versions, and neither would be good. If he thought that’d he’d lost her already, this ensured that he lost her forever.
“Natalie,” he called out breathlessly, getting up from his seat to follow her to the door.
“Nat,” he said again, catching her arm just as she opened it.
“WHAT,” she snapped on him, spinning around and giving him the full burning force of her glare as it made him flinch. Suddenly he couldn’t believe that he’d been in her arms a moment ago, and was grateful that he saved himself from it.
“I get it,” she glared, “I’m going. You’re right it was a mistake. Don’t worry—it’ll never happen again. Happy?”
He looked at her hesitantly, bringing his empty hand down and looking at her with pleading eyes.
“You…you won’t…Please don’t tell her what happened,” He breathed.
She searched his eyes hotly, her glare slowly easing as it was replaced with wonder. She frowned at him, seeing the worry in his stare and the…was it fear?
Suddenly the realization came up on her, and her mouth fell open in astonishment at the idea. “You’re still in love with her.”
He wouldn’t say it. He wouldn’t dare admit it. But he knew his eyes betrayed him and gave away every emotion that he felt. He didn’t want her to know. Please, he couldn’t have her know. Please, he begged with his eyes.
Under the surface she felt the reminder of rejection again, of being second-rate and unwanted, but then she felt it covered and coated with something even better. Ammunition. Now she could inflict the pain that she felt, onto him.
A smile suddenly formed from her lips, spreading wide as her eyes lit up with a frightening look. It unsettled him, and he felt the urge to step back.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell. I don’t need to. Jess has forgotten about you already. She doesn’t even mention your name. I don’t need to remind her of her past. She’s moved on from it. You probably should too.”
The sweet satisfaction was what kept her as she saw the look in his face, the look of hurt, and horror, as he stared at her and she made her final exit with a smile. She stepped out of the room and yanked the door behind her, feeling triumphant of being able to share the pain that she felt, and inflict it on him. She wouldn’t be the only one to suffer.
But as soon as the door shut she stopped, standing in place and looking at the floor in front of her, the whole scene replaying in a flash in her mind. She felt the hurt again, the knowledge of what she did, and her face fell, as her heart did.
She’d betrayed her best friend, and there was nothing to say for it, because he was still in love with her, and she’d been shamefully turned away and unwanted.


Natalie felt the sting of her eyes, looking out into the daze as she lay on her side, reliving the horrible memory. Then suddenly Jackie stirred, breaking her from her thoughts as she lifted her hand up to quickly swipe away the forming tears, as he yawned and stretched, opening his eyes as she pulled her hand down, resetting her own face to a cool look at him as he stared at her with heavy lids.

“Hey,” his voiced rasped.

“Hey,” she smiled.

The corner of his mouth quirked up watching her for a moment there, checking to see if this was real and he wasn’t still asleep and dreaming of her. Finally he settled on the former, and smiled. “I’m not gonna lie,” he fixed himself on his side to rest his head on his arm as he watched her. “I didn’t expect you to be here when I woke up.”

She smirked at that. “I’m full of suprises, aren’t I?”

“I’m sure you are,” he laughed.

She looked into his dark eyes, his features that were parallel to his brother’s. And she was instantly reminded again of where they were and what they’d done. She would receive the brunt of the lashings, and most of the blame. He was the brother, and by some sick way she knew that he still wouldn’t receive it as bad as she would. Well then, bring it on. There was no rush for them to exit through that door…and while she was here she may as well make the most of it with him. He’d given her a good time last night, she was sure he could do it again here and now. They might as well take what they could, because once they walked out of those doors there was no turning back. It was now or never, she thought. She’d throw her caution to the wind, and have her reckless fun with him. After all the time of things not being about her, she may as well be selfish for another long and gratifying moment, and take it for all it was worth.

“Hey,” she hummed, smiling considerately. “Wanna have a little more fun before I go?” She teased him, sliding her hand over to his chest to trace circles in the middle of it. There was no preamble…she made it clear what she wanted, and she would make sure that he understood.

He smiled wide at that, loving that she just got right to it herself. And there was no more room for any more thought as she leaned in to kiss him, closing her eyes as he lowered his. Soon his arm was sliding around her, gripping her to him as the familiar warmth of her lips and body ensconced him. Soon it was all feelings and touch and caresses, and she was rolling over him on the bed, leaning down as he held her angling to let him inside, his heat piercing through her, making her cry out as they both made their last moment count as the best.

Little did they know what that last passionate moment would hold in store.

Hey hey yall! Sorry for the wait on this one!
So what I’ve decided to do issss cook up another interlude for yall (aren’t ya getting sick of those?). I had a bout of inspiration with this one thanks to one of the girls on MJfiction.com (Nakamela!!!) and I felt the overwhelming need to get it down. I’d wanted to do it for a long time but never really had the motivation to REALLY get it down until now! But this interlude is a little different. This interlude is coming from a slightly different point of view.
Remember that special night in the Caaman Islands, the night of Jessica and Michael’s surprise engagement party? He shocked and stunned her with his proposal, and the whole family was so happy for them.
Except for one person.
What happened on that night after Nat shunned Michael and she and Jackie slipped away from the party? What exactly occurred the night that unknowingly changed everything in the course of everyone’s lives? Well, now you’re about to find out…..
***Even though I’ve read the parts so many times over I’m sure I still have a handful of typos. I’ll try to fix them in time but right now I’m EXHAUSTED from slaving over a 12000+ word chapter and I just wanna pass out in the aftermath of it, so I’m feeling quite lazy. So forgive me in advance! This chapter is a very conflicting one! The reactions will all be different I’m sure! This is a topic that rubs people every different which way, for sure! Enjoy!



Interlude 13

The lights dimmed on the dance floor as everyone scattered around looked to the center of the room, wondering what was going on as they fell quiet to the music dying down. From where Kayla stood next to Natalie they watched siblings of Michael’s as they shuffled to the center, crowding around the couple of the night, Jessica standing in her glowing orange gown, looking up at Michael in his shining white jacket, pulling her closer in his hands and talking down to her.

“…I've never felt like this for anyone before and I never will. I don't ever want to be without you, and I hope you feel the same. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Have children, watch our children grow up and have children. I want you to be mine, forever. Will you say that you will?"

Kayla’s gasp beside Natalie masked her own sound, and everyone around them watched in excitement and thick anticipation, seeing Michael bend down on one knee.

“Marry me, Jessica.”

Nat stood there in shock, feeling her pulse thudding up to her ears as she ignored everyone around in their scattered whispers and waited to hear what Jessie would say. What she could say. She wouldn’t be that foolish. They’d only been back together a few months now. She’d only just taken him back. They were still only dating. There was no way that she would say yes. There were no way.

They all looked upon him reaching out with a black box in his hand, unveiling the blinding white diamond that even the family could see from their far circle around them. No. No it was too soon. There was no way, there was no way she could say yes.

Don’t say it. Don’t say yes, don’t say it to him…

She looked on, willing the answer into Jessie’s own shocked and stunned face. She couldn’t be thinking to agree with him, so soon after all that she’d been through. After all that HE’d put her through! It was insane!

“Say that you’ll marry me. That you’ll be my wife.”

No. No no no no no!

“Oh my god, Jessie say something,” Kayla breathed.

Nat watched her, clenched fists at her side, staring at Jessie with a small hand held over her heart, visibly trying to find what to say. Don’t say it. She wouldn’t say it. She won’t say it.

“Yes. Of course I’ll marry you, Michael.”

Thunderous applause and cheers roared around her, deafening her just as the shock and bolt all hit her at once. She barely noticed anyone else, all she saw in front of her was Michael standing up and sliding the ring onto her finger, falling into her as her hands closed around him in their embrace.

All the while all she could feel was the dagger in her heart, and the hole gaping there.

She was only shaken from her trance as the family finally moved and closed around the two of them holding hands, giving their own congratulations and blessings, and she could only stand there, feeling stunned, blindsided, and completely stupid for being taken along on this trip. It was all a joke. It was all a play and she was the puppet.

Jessie and Michael came out of the throng of the family, eyes alit with their new happiness, their new joy as they went around to take more blessings from them. And when Jessie’s eyes searched the room and finally fell upon hers, the room squared on them both, time took pause and stood still.

She’s never lied to Jessie. She couldn’t hide her face. She couldn’t hide her expression. What could she do now but stand there and let the pain show on her features. Let the hurt show in her eyes. She felt hurt right now, how could she smile and play otherwise. Did Jessie know about this? How were she to know?

Jessie looked away as Michael tugged her forward and they reached one of his sibling’s daughters, and Nat swallowed and looked to Kay, who was still clapping weakly with an actual smile in her eyes. Nat waited as Kay’s eyes rolled up to hers, and amidst her moment she gave Natalie a weak quirk of her lip, easing a smile.

“We saw this coming,” she shrugged again. “Might as well be happy for them.”

She stared on blankly, almost wanting to recite to her the famous words of Julius Caesar.. But she knew that Kay wasn’t at fault. But her herself, she wouldn’t be happy for them. She wouldn’t stand for it, not after everything that had happened the past year. Not after what she knew about Michael. She wouldn’t stand for it, she refused to stand there like an idiot and smile.

She made strong resolve that whole time as the couple made the round again to their side of the room, approaching them at their end, as Natalie caught Jessie’s expression, smiling as she held onto Michael’s arm, her ring blindingly bright. Even the ring he bought her for the night was extraordinary, she thought to herself, swallowing past her pulse.

They reached where she stood with Kayla and Jessie’s eyes called to them, as she pulled her hand out of Michael’s and held them out to call them over. Kayla moved forward for her hug, congratulating the two. Congratulating them and condoning them for this act of foolishness, she thought silently. But Natalie wouldn’t stand by and take it. She wouldn’t accept this, and she refused to support it. She would never accept Michael after what he’d done.
,
But when Jessie moved back and looked over to her, she felt the pressure on her, felt the scrutiny of her stare, and she was moving forward heavily, going to Jess and wrapping her arms around her slim frame.

This wasn’t Jessie’s fault, she reminded herself. She was as surprised as any of us. She couldn’t hold any blame towards her.

But then again she’d gone along with it.

She’d said yes.

“Congratulations,” she told her, her mouth suddenly dry.

“Thank you,” Jessie whispered through her hair, her voice weak and wary herself. Natalie moved back only an inch, looking her in the eyes and seeing the unsure flicker in her gaze and another movement to her side caused her to look over, and then she before Michael too. His face was held emotionless as he looked at her, in pause and waiting with a still expression, standing warily next to Jessica, waiting for her next words. And in that same second his expression was obscured as Kayla moved forward, giving him a hug and good wishes herself.

She and Jess pulled back, and Kayla let go of Michael, leaving the moment screamingly open for them as Michael’s dark eyes held hers, waiting patiently, waiting for her movement. She remembered those same eyes in London, the eyes that looked over her in bed, the eyes turning her away, the same eyes that she was rejected from. The eyes of the person who just knelt down and proposed to her best friend.

Everything was a blur next. She looked away, her eyes flickering over the room, and her gaze fell upon one of the brothers standing to her right side, looking on at them. Her hand shot out to tap his, and she leaned and asked him quickly as looked to her, “Where’s the bathroom here?”

He looked at her, easy eyes smiling that were level to her own, cheekbones that couldn’t possibly be mistaken for belonging to that family, and brown skin that rivaled her own. He smiled wider, putting on a clear charm as he flicked his head. “Come on, I’ll show you.”

She wasn’t hesitant as he pulled her away, turning their backs to the frozen group of people behind them as they walked on steadily and she forced herself to stay calm and keep her gaze straight ahead. And as they moved farther away from the throng and the sight that she didn’t want to see, she didn’t look back once.

***

The sound of her heels clicking in the hallway sounded through the broad halls, carrying over as she walked slowly, holding her crossed arms to herself while Jackie lead the way, keeping step with her.

“So how long you known Jessie?”

“Since we were kids,” she said habitually, looking straight ahead, mind not far at all from the scene that they’d left.

“So, yall grew up together.”

“Yeah,” she said.

He stopped mid-smile and turned to her, seeing her not even looking at him. He paused in his steps for but a second, catching his pace again, and looking at her as he asked her the next question. “You must be real excited for her then.”

Oh, not quite. Far from it, actually. “Yeah,” she huffed under her breath, nearly painfully. She wasn’t able to fake her feelings before, and she wasn’t able to fake them now.

He was still trying to get her attention. Call it vain, but he’d never before met a woman who’d held so little eye contact with him. She’d barely glanced at him the whole walk here. She looked like her thoughts were elsewhere, like her mind was on other things. But even so, usually women in the presence of him wouldn’t dare lose the eye contact that they held once they got it. He found it amusing that she’d looked at him just once.

He waited to see if she would turn at all, and saw her eyes dazed as they looked straight ahead. What could be going on in that pretty little head of hers? He took that quick second to see her, see her fully. She had skin the shade of dessert chocolate, a shapely nose, her lips were a full and deep red, the sultry shade of blood. Her eyes were dark and gorgeous…made of exotic shaped lines framed by long dark lashes that held even darker brown irises several shades deeper than the skin of her cheeks. Her hair was a startlingly sleek midnight black, long and straight and flowing around her shoulders and down her back. She wore a dark red dress to match her mouth, and it fell over her curves in graceful shapes, close enough to her body so that you couldn’t mistake that she was all woman, but loose enough to take her from party to an evening dinner. There was no doubting, she was drop-dead gorgeous.

And she was practically ignoring him.

He waited for a moment, and let the conversation die off while he watched her moving still. He ruled that she definitely had something on her mind. She hadn’t uttered a word of happiness or excitement once the short time they’d been walking. She didn’t look happy at all, not like her other friend. He wondered what could be so serious and deep that it kept her from being cheerful on a special occasion like this that meant so much for her own friend. And as soon as he thought it, he quickly resolved to do something about it. He could do something to help. When she still didn’t acknowledge him, he tried another tactic. One that worked with all women. Flattery.

“Jessie seems to have a lot of beautiful friends.”

“Hm?” She wondered what he’d said as they’d walked, and in a delayed moment of it coming to her, she stopped and turned her head to him, standing still. He stopped next to her and smiled, that charming smile that he knew that got them every time.

“Are all her friends as gorgeous as you and that other girl?”

She stared at him, and watched his face in its proud and pleased form as he smiled on, his height leaving them eye to eye so she could have the full force of his expression. And all she could think in that moment was, oh please.

She scoffed and shook her head, turning and walking ahead from him. His face fell as he watched her leave and he started after her, picking up the pace as he met her long heeled strides.

“Hey—wait up,” he breathed, luckily catching up to her quick as he looked at her in their level height. “I’m showing you the way, remember?”

“Then just show me it,” she bit. Her expression was unamused and she kept looking straight ahead. Idiot. Dumbass men…they think they can get anywhere with kissing ass. Try someone else, buddy. I’m not the one today.

What the hell just happened there? He frowned as he kept glancing at her, and he kept his feet in it’s fast pace to match her determined strides. What did he say? Did he say something wrong there??

They only needed to walk a few feet further thanks to their newly rushed pace, and they were before the bathroom openings. Just as he realized it he snaked a hand out to grab her elbow, stopping her in her spot right before her head snapped around and she shot him a death glare. Instantly he dropped his hand away and held them both up in surrender.

“You wanna use the bathroom, don’t you?”

Her face faltered as she frowned again, and he pointed forward, leading her gaze to set of doors in front of her, labeled as the ladies and men’s rooms.

She stopped and stared at women’s sign, and it hit her then as she remembered that she hadn’t had to go to the bathroom at all. But lo and behold, they were here. Now what?

Now she found herself stuck again; she had the option of going in and faking her need to use the bathroom so that she could waste some time, or now that she had escaped she could decide what else to do right now. All that she did know for sure was that she wasn’t going back into that courtyard. Not ever.

“You need to use the ladies’ room, right?”

She looked up at him, face not so smug anymore now that she’d wiped the conceited grin off his face. Good. She took in a breath and let it out in a small huff of air, taking a quick glance around the hall, at the gold décor everywhere, the glowing brightness of the whole space. Michael really went out for this. Of course he would. He went all out for everything that he did for Jessie.

Suddenly the sick feeling at the pit of her stomach was back again. “Let’s keep walking. I don’t have to pee anymore.”

Jackie rose a brow at her, staring bewilderedly before he let out a light laugh, breathy and easy sounding, opposite from how he’d looked a second ago. “Oh really. You don’t have to go.” It was a statement, not a question.

She ignored him and walked on, and he immediately followed step with her, speeding up to match with her pace before slowing down again.

“Wanna warn me before you do that?” he drawled at her, but she ignored him. She only kept walking forward, glancing around at the paintings as she went.

“Where are we going now?” he piped in.

“I’m going to my room,” she added shortly.

“To do what?” He inquired.

“I’ll figure it out when I get there,” she said softer, her unsure voice peaking through. “Just show me the way so that I don’t get lost.”

“Please,” he cooed for her sardonically.

She looked over at him and eyed him sharply, and he practically felt his manhood wither with the stare. Yeesh. “Didn’t your mother ever teach you manners?”

She brushed off the slight sting, knowing that he didn’t have any idea that her mother had passed long ago. She simply murmured with her steps going forward, “I guess they never took.”

He let out a low sneering laugh, and kept walking to her pace, as the path up the elevater to the third floor where they all resided. When she saw the familiar hallway before her, her expression lit, and she stepped out of the doorway, barely acknowledging Jackie as he held out his hand for her to go. Again he stared on at her in disbelief and shook his head with a laugh, moving slowly behind her.

“What’s our room number again,” she murmured to herself, looking at the similar doors and counting the numbers in her head. When she spotted the number that rang familiarly in her mind she stopped, and picked up her purse at her side, fumbling for the room key. Thank God that she’d chosen to take it for Kayla tonight, or else that would be another dilemma that she faced for the evening. She didn’t need any more problems to deal with now. She opened up the door and flicked on the light for her room, and sighed in relief as the last of her worries slipped away. She stepped inside and turned around, door in hand to close it, and stopped in place.

He was still there.

He lifted up a hand to wave to her, and she stared at him blankly.

“You grabbin something?”

Her shoulder slumped down as she now realized that she had to find a way to get rid of him. He’d brought her here as she’d needed him too, and now it was time to get lost. “No. I’m staying. Thanks for walking me up, you can go back to the party. I’m staying here.”

His face formed in confusion as he tilted his head. “You not comin back down?”

“That’s what I said,” she shrugged.

“The party’s goin on downstairs though. What are you gonna do here all by yourself?”

“It’s a pretty big room,” she nodded quickly. “I’ll figure out something.”

He wasn’t sure that he could accept that. Why was she retiring to her hotel suite when all the action was going on out there? What was going on that was making her run away? “You sure you’ll be ok on your own?”

Clearly he wasn’t taking her rejection for what it was, so she needed another tactic. She backed up, further retreating into the room. “I think I’ll be fine,” she teased with a smart smile, and she turned away finally to go to the side wall of the room and find a way to occupy herself and further prove her point.

“Ok….” He stood there motionlessly, not sure what to say next. Was it time to leave her? He watched her going through everything on the shelf, fiddling through the counters and finally finding a tall bottle of champagne, lifting it up in her hands.

“Perfect,” he watched her whisper. All that time she didn’t look at him once.

He stood for an awkward and drawn out second longer, and finally realized that his company wasn’t exactly called for any longer. He could take a hint, and apparently, he would take rejection also. He tried as coolly as he could to back away, retreating in his steps and moving out from the door, pulling his hand out of his suit pocket to salute to her.

“Enjoy your drink,” he bowed.

She faked just realizing that he was still there and casually turned her head feigning a surprised look. Then she faked a calm smile, nodding her head to him and bidding him adieu further. With an upward quirk of the corner of his own mouth he moved and closed the door behind him, not realizing that he had held his breath until the click of the door sounded, and he let it out with a whoosh.

Man…he thought. That was…interesting. He replayed the scene in his mind, just somehow seeing it go so different through his own eyes. What had he expected? He didn’t know…maybe that she’d at least invite him in? Not for carnal reasons of course, but at least to have company. He wasn’t sure that he’d ever been denied as a woman’s company before. It was….unnerving.

He walked down the quiet hallway alone, still thinking about it and wondering what had gone wrong, or more, what was wrong with her. She definitely wasn’t happy. That was apparent as soon as they’d left. He wondered what the deal was. Maybe if he’d been able to stay he could have found out from her. He still couldn’t believe that. No invite at all? Jeez. He should his head and let out another huff, walking down the hall. Crazy.

Nat went over to the freezer and pulled out the ice, pouring it in the bowl to freeze the bottle. She placed it onto the counter and ripped off the wrapping on top, revealing the cork wedged into the opening, and with her hand still on the bottle she looked around. Was there an corkscrew around here? She couldn’t find anything. She searched on top and on shelves, and couldn’t find anything, and instead she resorted to doing it manually. She tried and tried to pull the cork out with her nails, digging them into the foam and it didn’t work. She let out a frustrated sigh and let go, feeling defeated.

Then she looked up.

She glanced at the closed door and speedily moved across the room to pull the handle open and peek her head through, and thankfully found Jackie still at the far end of the hall, walking at a relaxed pace.

“Hey wait!” She called out after him.

He stopped in place, recognizing her voice instantly and he started smiling. And he made sure not to turn around as she spoke to him. He’d had one sudden rejection tonight, he certaintly didn’t need two.

“Can you help me open this stupid thing?”

Now he was sure she was talking to him. He turned around slowly and stopped to see her standing by her door, holding up the bottle of champagne and visibly looking distraught. His slow strides led him forward as he held the smirk on his face, meeting her at the door as she held the bottle up to him to behold. It showed a cork tightly wedged in.

He looked at it and resolved, “You need a corkscrew.”

She let out her breath and gave him a look that the statement deserved. “No sh*t, Sherlock.”

His eyes widened at her language, and then they squared on her. “Hey. Do you want me to open it or not?”

She held her jaw tightly, knowing that she couldn’t say anything back to him then. It was her that was asking him for help. Instead of speaking she held a hand up to show him to the room, giving her best sardonic face. His amused eyes lit up at her as he shook his head, walking into the room. She followed him inside as he went to the fridge on the far end, looking atop the counter for the can opener that he knew to recognize from his room. He searched the tops, the fridge, even the tray of gift snacks and desserts that were left in every room as a special hotel-warming present. Finally after a thorough minute-long search, no bottle opener was in sight.

“You don’t have one here,” he sighed out, standing up to her. “You shoulda got it with the rest of your stuff but you don’t have one here.”

She wasn’t pleased with that answer, and she let it show. “Well how are Kay and I supposed to drink, then?”

He gave her another amused smirk, mouth stretching wide, brow rising to match it. She was starting to get really agitated with that look of his.

“I got a good idea,” he smiled, his voice holding the edge of his light mockery as it fell off with a short laugh. “Stay right here.”

She didn’t answer, or more didn’t have time to answer as he moved forward, forcing her to step out of the way as he strode out of the room. She stood there waiting in puzzlement and growing impatience before he came back thirty seconds later, a dark green tool in hand. And she could have sworn that she heard angels sing.

He held his hands out to her, his expression demanding the praise he deserved at the time. And as he knew he wouldn’t get it, he answered, “This what you need?”

She wouldn’t give him that much satisfaction: all he did was get one from his room. Instead she pushed the bottle forward in her hand to him, and with a conceding smile he took it from her, corkscrewing the top, and popping it open. The bubbles came pouring up and over, spilling over his hands and dripping to the carpet, and he held up out of harm’s way of her outfit, letting it settle before telling her to grab him a towel to wipe it. She did as he said and he wrapped the top, handing the bottle to her finally, and finally seeing a semblance of satisfaction on her face. That was a point for him, he guessed. She moved forward to the counter and reached for a champagne glass, pouring it for herself carefully as he watched in silence and smiled. Guess his work was done for the night. He could retire.

“Don’t go too crazy,” he teased one last time for good measure. “My services end with opening it. I don’t wanna hear you passed out on the floor cause I enabled you tonight.”

She looked up at him, and the movement gave him the full intensity of her darkly lines eyes. Those eyes really were something, he thought. And then as he stood there and watched her, he watched as her features started changing…and…what was that? Wow. An actual smile.

She smirked up at him, looking away quickly as she lifted the glass up to her lips, taking a small tasting sip. Her eyes closed in the satisfaction that she felt, and it was apparent his work was really done, and he could go.

“Enjoy,” he nodded, and finally he turned around, moving away as he slid his hand into his pantsuit pocket, looking down at his feet as he neared the door.

Nat caught the movement in the corner of her eye, and she lifted her head up to see him just as he was halfway to the exit, watching him in his retreating footsteps. She wondered for a second if he would go back to the party, back to everything downstairs, and then she thought of how she’d be alone here by herself, drinking. Sulking. Part of her wanted to be alone right now, to wallow and stew on her own, and part of her wanted company. He wasn’t exactly the company that she’d had in mind for it, but at this point she didn’t really have a lot of choices of the company to keep now. She knew that she’d already made enemies downstairs, so there was no one else to turn to for the night. She wasn’t going anywhere for a good long time….

“Hey.”

She’d realized that she’d said it, and there was no turning back. He was already at the door, and he’d been just about to turn the corner before he stopped and looked her way.

“You gonna let me drink this by myself?” she shrugged.

For a moment he stood there and stared at her in surprise, and then his features again stretched into his chesire-cat face, and it instantly made her regret her words. Oh Lord, what had she done.

He turned back towards her and made his way into the room and she almost wanted to tell him to forget it, and kick him out just for the sick satisfaction of seeing his shot-down face. But she thought better and kept silent, and watched as he reached over to grab a glass of his own, pouring himself champagne and taking his own sip before he clanked his glass together with hers. “Cheers.”

***

Since I met you, I’ve begun to feel so strange
Every time I speak your name that’s funny
You say that you are so helpless too, that you don’t know what to do
Each night I pray, there will never come a day
When you up and take your love away
Say you feel the same way too and I wonder what it is I feel for you


Chapter 113

August 30, 1996

He could feel her round stomach pressing into him; her arms hooked around his neck as her legs on opposite sides of his hips encased him. He was trapped under her, and with her sweet lips brushing lightly across his, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

His eyes looked up to hers again, and he saw her beautiful and glowing smile looking down from where she knelt on him. He watched her lean down, kissing him again, and he was back in bliss. His hand held onto her sides so firmly and crept them up under her shirt. It was a flimsy top, poofed at the arms and stomach so that it again accommodated space for her belly. The dark green color of her clothes complimented her brown skin. She wore yoga pants, stretching over the slim curves of her legs and thighs, giving him a lot to imagine whenever she walked in front of him. Something he’d made sure that she did all day.

Under her shirt he felt for her milky smooth skin while his mouth greedily reached up for her again, and she obliged. Who knew how long they kept this up for. As soon as he’d entered that door they’d found the entrance to her bedroom, dropping to her queen-size mattress and kissing the afternoon away. After enough time their energy had to go somewhere, and finally Nat released him, bending her head into the crook of his neck, softly kissing upon his cheek.

Again, bliss.

She sighed out onto him, tracing her fingertips along the hairs at the back of his neck. She hadn’t seen him in a week...A week of being without him, without seeing his painfully handsome, yet unsettling and frustrating face. She’d missed him so much it had become insanity. How could that be? Who would have thought that someone could miss another like she did him. That the touch of someone else’s skin, the warmth of their presence could be craved like his was for her?

It had been frustrating while he was gone. She’d almost counted the days until he came back to LA. Almost counted.

Ok, she did count them.

Being away from him so long after the intimate time that they’d been spending had been maddening, and Kay could attest to that herself. She had witnessed it, firsthand, and yet it made her so happy.

But all of that didn’t matter now, because Jackie was here, and he was in her arms again. It was about time.

“I missed you,” she breathed.

Even though she couldn’t see his smile, she knew it was there. He ran his hand up and down her skin, letting her know that he’d missed her so badly too. The more time that they spent together, the harder that it was for them to stay away. It was to the point that they even rubbed off on each other, and learn to communicate in different ways. She had taught him how to interpret her silence, and how to communicate with silence himself, and he taught her not to be afraid to use her words to say how she truly did feel. It was a small step between them, but it was moving forward nonetheless.

He held her close, breathing in the scent of her skin, of the lotion she’d put on that smelled of dessert and delicious, edible things. He didn’t want to be away from her.

But after a moment of taking her in he knew he had let her go, and reluctantly he lifted his head, trailing kisses on the curve of her neck along the way, that delicious scent of her skin taking him again. And then he let out a groan.

“I hate that I have to leave so soon.”

She didn’t open her eyes, still in the comfort of being in his warm arms. “Then don’t. Don’t leave.”

He kissed her neck again, and it sent chills down her spine while she felt her baby happily jolt in response.

“I wish. But I can’t miss this meeting. I gotta talk with my producers. But I’ll be right back tomorrow.”

She knew that there was nothing else to say. He had work to do, and she knew that. At least they had the promise of being together again tomorrow, and all day. He had come by the house now to see her, and bring Siggy and Brandi to stay the night so that he could pick them all up and leave for Neverland in the morning. Also, it wouldn't hurt for Nat to spend time with the kids and bond even more. As soon as he’d brought them he’d let the kids take the car, going out shopping while it gave time for them to be alone. They both knew exactly how they’d spend the time together and had used it as effectively as they could, which brought them to now. Alone in the house and on top of her bed.

That then reminded her to ask... “When are the kids coming back?”

He paused and looked up at the clock in her room, determining between the time it is now and the time Siggy left.

“They should be back real soon now. Siggy said they wouldn’t take long at the mall.”

She looked up at the clock after him, seeing for herself that it’d been a long time since they’d been gone. She turned back to him scowling, weakly slapping his arm. “They’ve been gone an hour. I told you we had time for sex.”

He laughed up at her, smirking while he squeezed her waist. “Yeah right, and risk getting caught by my kids? No thanks. You’re fine baby, but even that ain’t worth it.”

That made her laugh low, bringing her arms to sliding down on his chest. She supposed that she could understand that. Besides, she could silently admit that just seeing him had been enough.

Finally Jackie let his thoughts show through his features, his concern forming in his soft brown eyes. “You’re sure you’ll be fine with them?”

“Yeah,” she looked at him. “We’ll be ok.”

He looked up at her silently, reassuring himself that this was ok. She could see his thoughts already, and she’d reassure him herself.

“They love me, remember?” She reminded him. “Everything’s good.”

“I know they do,” he offered, “I’m just—I’m leaving them by themselves.”

She raised a lined brow. “They are teenagers! They practically live on their own. They’ll be fine here. We’ll have a good time, I promise,” she squeezed him with arms around his waist.

He let his shoulders relax again, smirking at her finally. He knew they’d get on fine. It was just that part of him that wanted to make sure they all got along, that wanted to be there at all time to make sure everything was ok. He wished that he could stay there now.

“I see what you’re thinking, old man,” her wary voice warned him. “Stop worrying. We’ll be fine.”

He broke from his thoughts instantly at his pet name, and he wrapped his arms around her waist grinning up and looking at her.

“Oh so you can read my mind now?”

“Yes,” she hissed playfully, and so seductively into his space. “I can.”

He hummed at her, letting his hands curve over her sweet behind. “What else can you do?”

“Can I show you?” she whispered, lowering her lips to him as she lowered her body.

“Mm, girl...” he groaned, squeezing her in his hands as she flicked her tongue up across his lips, “You can do a lot more than that,” he growled, and her hot breath coated his lips as she dove down, just before the sound of the front door closing was heard as their lips touched, making them both freeze in their caught position before they heard it---

“--Dad! Nat! We’re back!”

Nat turned her face away in defeat, and his soft mutter of “damn” was coated by her heartfelt sounding “****”. They quickly pulled away from each other, Nat going back to sitting politely on the bed and fixing her hair before getting up, and pulling her clothes back into place.

Jackie wiped his mouth before standing up from the bed, hoping to look somewhat innocent as he followed Nat walking out in the hallway to meet the kids. The first thing he saw was Brandi holding bags up excitedly talking to Nat just by the bathroom.

“I found clothes to wear to the party tomorrow!”

“Nice!” she mused, and he pulled up to her side as Siggy waved to him from the end of the hall, turning the corner to hunker down in front of the TV that he’d left before.

“Wanna see what I bought?”

“Sure,” Nat nodded. “Let’s go in my room and you can try it on and show me.”

“Ok!” She nodded excitedly and smiled at Jackie as she took off, heading into Nat’s bedroom.

“Wait a minute--” he’d called out before she closed the door. As she paused and turned he held his arms out in place, waiting for her. “I’m not gonna get a kiss before I leave?”

She smiled again and opened the door run over and give him a hug, and he leaned over kissing her affectionately, brushing her tied curls as she stepped back.

“Now you be good for Nat, ok?”

“I know,” she nodded.

“And if you need anything call me,” he said.

“I know,” she smiled, trying not to roll her eyes.

“Yeah I know you know.” He returned the expression, bending low to kiss her again before he turned around to face the hall. “Siggy! Keys!”

“They’re right here!” he called back. He was glued to the TV now, he wasn’t getting up. Jackie sighed out and started towards him in the hall, but just as he was side by side with Natalie he knew that he couldn’t go without saying goodbye to her first.

She caught the look in his eyes before anything, and she smirked calmly, seeing him step towards her, hand politely on her waist.

“I’ll be back in the morning,” he promised her.

She nodded quietly. “Ok.”

He stepped forward and kissed her quick, and a second of kissing turning into two seconds, and three...and the groan at his side told him that Siggy actually had decided to get up, and decided to come meet him at just the wrong time.

“Get a room, Pop,” he teased. And Brandi simply giggled from the side.

Nat laughed and glanced away to hide her embarrassment as Jackie pulled back from her, rubbing the baby in her belly to familiar warmth. “See yall in the morning. 7 o’clock,” he reminded them.

They all gave a reply of acknowledgement and he turned towards Siggy’s way, and just as he handed him the keys Jackie gave his son a big man-hug, patting his back before turning to leave.

“Bye y'all,” he called out once more, and they all waved goodbye to him again, seeing him out from the top of the steps.

“Bye Dad,” Nat couldn’t resist calling out, and just as he stepped out her flashed her a grin, bowing before closing the door behind himself.

Brandi cheered instantly. “Girls night!”

Nat grinned, and Siggy gave Brandi a smirk of his own, saluting them as he turned back around to leave. “You guys have your little slumber party, I’m finishing my movie.”

Nat gave him an astonished stare, shaking her head. Boys. They thought everything was a slumber party. She turned back to Brandi and she was already heading back to the room.

Nat followed her inside closing the door behind her, thinking that maybe they could have a little girl’s time of their own. It’d been a while since they hung out without the boys there in the way to keep them from gossiping. Maybe a slumber party wouldn’t be too far from the truth tonight.

“Brandi,” she called as Brandi plopped onto the bed. “You feel like painting your nails?”


***
---


I don’t need all those things that used to bring me joy
You make me such a happy boy
And honey you’ll always be the only for me
Meeting you was my destiny

You can be sure I will never let you down
When you need me I’ll be around
And darling you’ll always be the only for me
Heaven made you specially


“Hold still, babe.”

I was leaning over Michael and spreading the cream on his face, massaging it into his rosy cheeks while he held me and closed his eyes, holding his mouth tightly closed with cheeks puffed out just like a child. His skin had flared up today while he was practicing, and it was the least I could do to help him through the aches.

I rubbed the cream down to his neck, going to his almost purple-colored hands and massaging them as they were swollen, carefully going over his skin and getting his fingers especially.

I kissed the tips one by one, my little treat--the least I could do for my poor baby, and I asked him, “How do you feel now? Better?”

“Much better, thank you,” his sing-song voice so cute with me, and I glanced up to him smiling, lifting his palm and kissing it for my own benefit this time, as I crawled over him and tackled him down to the bed. He laughed and bared his pearly whites at me while I pulled the pill out of my pocket, and held it up to him.

“And this too,” I said.

I saw him pause as he stared at it, and I couldn’t lie, it made me nervous for a second too. Even though he promised to work with me last night and follow what I’d said the other day, I almost expected him to retract his word at any moment, saying that he wouldn’t do it. But as I waited and he looked at my hand, he reached out and took the pill to drop in his mouth and swallow, all my thoughts and doubts went away.

I moved into him happily and wrapped my arms around him, going up and kissing his cheek, grazing my lips across his freshly-shaved skin and nestling my head into him. The phone rang and I lifted my head slowly, sad to be interrupted from our potentially wonderful cuddling session. I finally pushed myself up and moved off him to crawl over and pull it up from the hook. I felt his hand lazily reach up to touch my waist, and ever so casually trail down to hold what was not my waist, and that action was so not childish.

I reached down and took his hand, pulling it around me as I answered quickly, “Hello?”

“Hello Mrs. Jackson.”

“Why hello Ms. Smith,” I mused, falling back into Michael’s chest as he settled around me. Well if I was gonna be interrupted, may as well be by someone worth it. “Whaat’s up?”

“We have a quick favor to ask of you.”

“Of course. You and Kay?”

“Me and Brandi.”

“Oh--" That stopped me. "Brandi’s there?? Hey Brandi!”

“Hi Jessie!” I heard her call back and I grinned.

“Brandi’s there with Nat?” Michael hummed soft. “Our Brandi?” I looked up at him and nodded quickly. By ‘our’ Brandi, he meant his family’s Brandi, but now whenever he talked about the family I was included in that. His family was ‘our’ family now; his house staff was ‘our’ house staff. It always secretly made me feel so special, so welcome in his world.

Before I could even ask Natalie answered for me, “The kids are staying with me while Jackie does some business in the city. He’s picking us all up tomorrow for the party.”

“Oh cool!” Sounded good to me! “So what’s this favor that you need?”

“--Ask her! Please ask her! Pleaseplease!”

I heard Nat softly laughing and I smiled wider, waiting to hear what was going on.

“I’m helping Brandi put her outfit together for tomorrow, and she set her eyes on a certain gold necklace with a shiny cross on it.”

I paused. “You mean my necklace?”

“That’s the one.”

I imagined it, and then steadily eyed her through the phone. “You mean the necklace that I let you borrow months ago??”

“Hey--let’s not go into the past, alright? The little lady wants to borrow it. She’ll take good care of it for you. Right?”

“Right! I promise!”

Suddenly I heard muffling and Brandi herself had come onto the line huffing, “Auntie Jessie I promise I’ll be good with it and I’ll bring it right back after I’m done! Pleaaaaaase...”

Ugh. Damnit. She had me right at ‘Auntie’.

“Of course you can, honey,” I told her, hearing my voice go softer like the sap that I was. “Go right ahead. I bet it’ll look great on you. I can’t wait to see!”

“Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you Auntie! You’re the best!”

She was killin me. “Don’t worry about it. So tell me...What are you gonna wear tomorrow?”

We made small talk after that, a little bit of girl talk added in, and then Nat cut it short letting me know that she had to do Brandi’s hair. They were getting primped and prepared for tomorrow, and now they had to decide on a hairstyle for tomorrow too. I understood and said goodbye, but before I did of course Michael had to talk to his favorite niece. I sat on him, playing my fingers into his as they chatted together, leaving Nat and I on the side to wait as uncle and niece bonded. Finally after more endearing words being exchanged they closed the conversation, with his promise that they would talk more tomorrow at the party for us.

“I can’t wait to see you all,” he told her. “...Of course! And is your mother coming too? ...No? Aww...”

Enid? I paused. Jackie’s ex-wife? He’d invited her?

“Oh, well tell her that I’ll miss her. Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow then. Tell Siggy I said hi too. Alright Brandi, I love you very much. I love you more. Goodbye!” He waited, and then finally turned the phone off, handing it back to me as I placed it behind me on the bed. He was all content smiles, and I leaned back into him and rested into his chest as he wrapped arms around my waist.

“You invited Enid to the party?”

He hummed. “She’s family too.”

Of course she was. “Right. I just didn’t expect that she’d be there. Since Nat’s gonna be there too.”

“Huh?” He frowned looking down to me in a semi-awkward angle, and then his eyes opened up as he breathed, “Ooh, Natalie.”

“Yeaah,” I mocked him in his tone, laughing at him.

“Oh,” he said again, his eyes dazed for a moment as he thought of it. “I didn’t even think of that. Well, Enid’s not coming anyways, so I guess there’s no problem there. Not like there would be a problem, though. Enid doesn’t have an issue with Natalie.”

“Right,” I agreed, “But it’d still be awkward. The ex-wife and the new girlfriend? You gotta admit that sounds like a little tension there.”

“Wow, now that you say it,” he looked down at me. “Guess that worked out, then.”

“Yeah,” I smirked, “I guess so.” A bullet dodged, definitely.

“And the kids are staying at Nat’s now, huh,” he rose a perfectly done brow with his expression that showed that he found it highly intriguing.

“Mhm,” I hummed to him.

“They’re really getting close then,” he said.

I nodded, pulling his arms around me closer. I snuggled up and as I moved I felt the friction of his warm skin heating into mine, the fine hairs of his arms tickling the bare skin of my own.

“Wow,” he said again as I nestled into him, like that was all he could say. I turned my head into his collar and took a long sniff from his smooth skin on the parts not covered by the cream, and his hand came up to hold my head there on him, not petting, just holding.

“I....” he started, and his voice trailed off then as he paused. He was looking for the right words. At least I hoped that he would say the right words. He hadn’t exactly been their biggest fan.

“Good for them,” he finally finished.

I smiled silently, glad for that right answer. And then I took closer to his body and the comfort of just being buried in it. He went quiet again, and didn’t say anything else for a minute. I figured that he was still thinking of the situation. My thoughts were confirmed as he spoke again.

“What do you think about it?” He asked, and I smiled on him.

“I think it’s great,” I hummed, gracing my lips against the sweet-smelling collar of his shirt. “The kids love Natalie. It’s great that they’re staying there for the night.”

He fell quiet for a little longer, and I could almost hear the fleeting thoughts in his head as I heard his heart steady beating under my ear. What was he trying to figure out to say? Was he gonna say something about the relationship again? About the kids spending so much time with her? Michael and Nat had never exactly had a smooth track record, and her dating his brother didn’t make her any more understandable to him than she had been before. So I knew the fact of the kids bonding and getting so close to her must have not even registered to him at all. I stopped and looked up at him, smirking with a tease at his puzzled face. “You just can’t wrap your head around the fact that they’re all becoming a family, can you?”

His eyes broke from their daze to look down at me, my words striking a visible chord in his mind. He stared at me wordlessly, still seeming unsure of what to say. That was alright, I’d be here all day to defending my girl and her newfound happiness.

“It’s just that...” his doe eyes stared into mine as his loose, kissable lips formed the words he searched for. “You know...At one time I didn’t know what to even think of those two separately, let alone as a couple.”

I laughed, giving him that as he said again, “Nat and Jackie.”

“Nat and Jackie,” I repeated. My smile grew wider as I kissed the top exposed part of his chest. “They’ve come a long way,” I nodded. “He makes her really happy. And she does him, too.”

“I don’t know a lot about how they’ve been lately...but he does seem really happy now.”

“Well, of course,” I murmured, lifting my head to see him. “They’re in love. And they’re having a little boy. One was eventually going to follow the other.”

He paused against me, still deep in thought. As intuitive as Michael could be to other’s emotions, sometimes he just missed the little things right before him, right in his circle. But at least now he could see that Nat and Jackie were real, and they were a match, and they were genuinely good together.

“She’s changed a lot too, I have to admit,” he said. “She’s so much calmer now. I never thought I’d see Natalie act that way.”

I had to agree again.

“That always helps,” he added.

“Mhm,” I nodded. “She’s relaxed a lot the past few months. She’s the calm one of the group now. And now I’ve taken her crazy.”

His eyes widened as he looked over at me, and then he started giggling, turning his head down as his eyes then squinted with amusement at my admittance. I laughed back at him and rubbed his skin under his shirt as his gaze softened, and his smile relaxed into a saccharine smirk.

“My crazy pregnant lady,” he whispered, and he said it like it was the most endearing thing to say. For him it probably was.

“So tomorrow, we’re telling everybody about it,” he said.

Well that was a quick subject change. I nodded. “Right after the appointment.”

He grinned again at that. We were going to see the doctor tomorrow to get our first ultrasound, make sure that the baby was ok and get a new dosage of prenatal vitamins for me. Our plan was to do all this before the party, so that if anything we could be sure that it was ok to tell the family about the baby and show them proof ourselves after we got the initial “ok” from the doctor. Tomorrow was gonna be insane.

“You know, can I be honest with you?”

I focused back on him as he looked down at me, seriously. Uh oh. “Mhm...” I started.

“I’m so surprised you didn’t tell Nat and Kay yet. I thought they’d be the first ones to know,” he rose his brows.

I huffed shortly, stopping and smirking and simply having to agree with him. I thought that they would be too. But after a lot of thought on my own, I’d decided not to. There was a reason that I hadn’t told them. “I didn’t want to tell Nat until the party. Lately she’s been so happy, and the family’s starting to really love her and bond with her. Your family,” I clarified. “She’s finally getting so close to them and I want her to enjoy that as much as she can before we drop the bomb on them all. Everything’s always about us. I want her to have her spotlight for a change. I want her and Jackie to enjoy it.”

“So then why wait until tomorrow if we’re leaving after then?” he asked.

“Because we are leaving after tomorrow,” I smiled. I knew that had trumped him, and I told him again. “After tomorrow we leave, we’ll be gone and they’ll be alone with the family. And she and Jackie will go back to having all the attention to themselves.”

His perfect eyebrows rose at that, and he made a face that told me that he was very impressed with me.

“My little genius,” he hummed, leaning in to growl into my ear as I giggled at him holding him back.

“That’s a great idea, actually,” he said, pulling up from me. I looked back up at him and smiled. I already knew.

“We’ll have the party, let them have all the attention, and then we unveil the pregnancy and after we have our day. Then we leave, and everything goes back to normal.”

“Yup,” I nodded.

“And then when we get back on break you’ll have your big belly and we can get all the attention again,” he grinned wide, and that made me laugh out loud.

“You’re such a diva, baby,” I tapped him, and he leaned down into me laughing as he kissed me so softly against my waiting lips.

He went quiet again, relaxing as he stared down at my mouth, tracing his thumb across it where I knew my brown lipstick had smudged. “You think Nat’s still mad at me?”

I paused at him, not exactly sure what he meant. Nat got mad at him for a lot of things.

“About what I told Jackie about her past...” he finished for me. Oh...

“Well...” I looked down. “I don’t know, that was a while ago. She’s maybe forgotten by now.”

He made a face at me. “Yeah, but you know Nat. She doesn’t forget anything. She holds her grudges.”

“Yeah she does,” I agreed low, and glanced up at him. “But she has a right to for this one. You broke her privacy,” I told him sternly, remembering her outrage vividly from when it had happened.

“I know,” he said lower.

“Wasn’t your finest moment, babe,” I pointed.

“I know,” he said again. And I rubbed his sides for comfort. I wasn’t trying to guilt him anymore than he felt. I knew that it hadn’t been a good time for him when it happened.

“I’m sure she forgot it by now,” I assured him. “This pregnancy’s calmed her down, remember? I’m sure she’s over it. But it wouldn’t hurt anything to say sorry,” I shrugged. He looked down into our laps and I knew he thought about it. Michael would do the right thing. He hated people being upset with him. I knew that he would make it right. And besides, Nat was coming to the party with the fam. That didn’t say ‘grudge’ to me.

I knew he wouldn’t want stay on this topic any longer, so I changed it for him. I kissed his chest again and rested my head onto him, smiling up into his face. “I’m so excited for tomorrow morning.”

He looked up at me and his eyes cleared, and there was that smile again. “I can’t wait either. I’m so excited to see our baby.”

I agreed. “Even though it’s only a little speck right now,” I sighed.

“That’s still something,” he finished for me surely, almost sternly himself.

“Yeah it is,” I grinned, reaching up to pull him down by his neck, sealing his lips with my own.

By the time we pulled away we were breathless, and the taste of his lips had made me really hungry. Food hungry. I had an idea.

“Baby...” I cooed up at him, rubbing his arms and putting on my most adorable face. “I’m hungry.”

His eyes cleared up for me. “What do you want to eat?”

“Anything,” I told him. “You pick it,” I nudged.

He nodded. “I’ll be right back.”

Suddenly I remembered what brought us here in the first place. He’d been in pain. I grabbed him before he got up. “No wait—Are your hands still hurting? Forget it,” I shook my head. “Don’t go. I’ll get it myself.”

“I’m fine, baby” he said, smiling as he leaned down and kissed me again. “I’ll get it.” Even as I went to protest he didn’t give me a chance to move as he got up quick and left the bed, striding out through the door to go and get me my food.

I sat there staring at the empty opening, again seeing how he so quickly was ready to do anything for me. I finally let the smile creep wide on my face, feeling so happy. I turned around and my gaze passed over all the packed suitcases that we had ready to leave, and still, I was so giddy with all of this. He wasn’t going to be the only one being taken care of on this trip.


Could it be I’m falling in love?
Could it be I’m falling in love?
Could it be I’m falling in love with you?


If there were anything that Nat loved to make, it was Italian dishes. And tonight’s meal was exceptionable, the proof being that Siggy and Brandi were scarfing it down themselves with her. Siggy’s plate was a mountain of food when he’d started, his plate full of lasagna and green beans and parmesan chicken and mashed potatoes, and now he was already halfway through it, not giving himself a chance to breathe as he ate the food down, one side dish after another.

Nat watched on with an impressed expression as he tore down the dish, devouring his plate and still reaching to the middle of the table to grab more mashed potatoes and chicken. And once that was in his plate it was a done deal. He dove in again.

Nat watched him with an arched brow for moments longer, and then finally she shook her head and turned to see Brandi who was eagerly yet much more politely eating from her plate. She stopped and smiled, watching her lean over her plate carefully with her neatly shining curls that she personally had styled for her, all hanging down in fluffy ringlets around her head.

Finally she spoke to her. “You like the food?”

Brandi looked up with bright eyes and smiled eagerly, “Mhm” as Siggy let out a gruff sound, still gulping down his plate. Nat turned to him again and found herself with that same expression as previously on her face.

“Oh I know that you like the food, Sig,” she drawled.

Siggy stopped and looked up, a trail of lasagna hanging out of his mouth with his guilty face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

She smirked and laughed, shaking her head amusedly and taking another bite of food herself.

“The food tastes really good, Natalie,” Brandi spoke up. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” she smirked, feeling proud of her cooking skills being well received by them. “I’m glad yall approve.”

“Dad cooks good too, but not like this,” she admitted, scooping another spoon. “You should show him how to make this. It’s so good.”

Nat took the second compliment with pride. “I’ll show him how to make it when he shows me how he gets his steak so perfect. You know he still won’t give me the recipe on how to cook it??”

Brandi’s eyes twinkled with the beginnings of a laugh. “He doesn’t tell anybody. He calls it his secret recipe.”

“So I’ve heard,” Nat grumbled again.

“Yeah, it’s his secret recipe cause he probably puts crack in it,” Siggy muttered, and she turned and laughed at him.

Brandi ignored her brother and went on, “It’s his best thing to make so he doesn’t tell anyone so that they can’t cook it like him. He still hasn’t even told Mom it.”

That made her pause.

“Yeah,” Siggy added. “Mom is still mad at him for that too.”

...Mom.

...Enid.

It was the second time tonight that she’d heard her name. She was reminded of things that had gone through her mind as of late, thoughts that came back as she heard Brandi talking to Michael about her mother, making her realize that this was Jackie’s ex-wife that they spoke of, and bringing her mind to think of things that she’d never realized before. Before she was sure that Enid knew about her, and knew about her relationship with Jackie, or lack thereof. Back then she had just freshly known that she was pregnant, and she and Jackie were far from settling down and playing nice with each other. But now things were serious, they were actually settled down and together, and Jackie was having her spend more and more time bonding with the kids. Suddenly she wondered what she had never thought of before. How did Enid feel about it?

What did Enid think of her and her relationship with Jackie now? She knew for a fact that she thought something of the age difference. Everyone else sure did. It wasn’t like she and Jackie were that close in age. They were practically two generations apart. Did Enid judge her for that? Did she think of her as using Jackie, some young girl after him for his fame? Her chest tightened at the thought. She wondered if Jackie’s ex thought of her as trifling, if she thought of her as some gold-digger after Jackie’s money. She knew deep inside that it had never been the case, she had never wanted him for anything but who he was, but she also felt partly unsettled, with the idea that maybe someone else thought differently. Not to mention the fact that Enid must know that she was getting closer to her kids. She was no longer just “Dad’s new girlfriend,” to them...they were now actually friends. The kids were sleeping over. What did Enid think of that? She knew that she was their mother, and still an active part of the family, she must have a say on those things. So then what did Enid think of her personally, and of her relationship with her husband their kids?

She looked down into her plate, biting the inside of her lip as she thought silently, deciding to find out for herself. And what better way to find out than from the kids themselves?

“Hey...” she started.

She twirled her fork around aimlessly, feigning a casual expression to match her tone as the kids looked up. “We’re all grown here, right? We can talk maturely between each other.”

Both Brandi and Siggy’s ears perked up at those words, words that signaled talk that was bound to be juicy.

“Your mom,” she started. She came straight out and said it. No need to beat around the bush. These kids weren’t foolish, and she simply wanted to know. “I know she knows about me and your dad, but now that things are kind of serious with us, I guess you could say...” she wrinkled her nose at that. She sounded so old-fashioned talking that way, not to mention that she felt tingles saying those words. That she and Jackie were getting serious. She shook her head and the thought away. “How does she feel about me and you guys? She knows you guys are here right? She doesn’t have a problem with it?”

Brandi’s brows furrowed as she spoke up, showing her disagreement. “No...Why should she?”

“So she doesn’t care? She knows you guys are here? She’s ok with it?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “She knows, she said it was fine.”

Really. “Ok, and what about me? She’s ok with me and him?” She wasn’t sure she should go into exactly what she meant just yet. She hoped the kids figured it out.

Brandi nodded, and looked towards Siggy for assurance as he agreed too. “She knows that Dad trusts you, so she trusts you too.”

Really... “You mean she’s alright with it? She doesn’t think I’m using him, or think I’m out for his money or anything?”

“....Well,” Siggy admitted. “At first she kinda did. But Mom doesn’t really trust anybody Pop dates...but that’s just cause she knows that girls are always throwin themselves at him, and they all just want him cause he’s famous. But she knows that you’re not like that. She knows you’re cool.”

“Oh.” She felt pretty much reply-less other than that. She no longer knew what to say. That pretty much answered it for her. “Ok,” she finished, and glanced down almost confused at how simple that had been. “I was just asking because I never really heard what your mom thought about it. Your dad never really mentioned it, but I guess I never asked,” she shrugged truthfully. She felt she could be honest with them. They’d understood everything well so far. “I know you guys are ok with us being together, but I know it must have been weird at first, especially for your mom to hear.” Nat looked between the two, her calm eyes holding their attention. “I know it came out of the blue, me being pregnant. I know especially with you guys too it must’ve been weird to hear that suddenly your dad was having a baby with someone else.”

Siggy paused, taking her words tentatively. “Well I mean, at first I did think it was kinda weird, I mean it was random how Pop came to us and suddenly was tellin’ us that he was havin a baby with a girl we never met. I mean--we met you at Uncle Mike’s engagement party but that was it, right? We never talked, you know? We just knew you as Jessie’s friend and that’s it.” He shrugged, and Nat nodded in acceptance. He was right. It was very out of the blue how things came about. She couldn’t argue that.

“But then he was tellin us how excited he was about the baby, and how much he wanted us to get to know you and stuff, we saw him just bein happy about it, and we knew that it was you making Pops happy so it was cool.”

Nat paused and watched him in silence. He’d just revealed something so casually, so easily, but he had no idea what those words had just done to her heart.

“I never thought it was weird,” Brandi spoke up, very matter-of-fact sounding. “Dad was always talking about you, so I knew that he liked you. And when he told us that you were his girlfriend I was happy because we already knew that he loves you a lot. He wanted you to be his girlfriend for a long time.”

“A long time,” Siggy echoed drastically, and that stopped Nat in place, making her arch a brow.

“Really....” She said aloud, and her voice hummed her curiosity.

They both nodded.

“And, how do you know that he wanted me to be his girlfriend for so long?” She frowned.

“Nat.”

She turned her head to Siggy, who squared his eyes on her. It was his turn to look at her seriously, and very matter-of-fact. “We may be younger than you, but we ain’t stupid. Dad tried to act like it wasn’t no big deal and that he didn’t care, but it was so obvious as soon as he told us....he was gaga over you. He tried to play it off around us all the time but we always heard him on the phone with Grandma talkin about it when he thought we weren’t listening. He was always talking to Grandma about you, all the time.”

“And Uncle Jermaine,” Brandi added.

“Oh yeah,” he recalled. “And Uncle Marlon,” he added in.

“And Aunt Rebbie,” she piped back in.

She was stunned. For once she didn’t know what to say. What on earth...She had never known this piece of information before. He’d been talking about her to his family? And his kids knew that he’d wanted to be with her? She thought back to the times when they were simply fighting, and purely hated each other, or pretended to. Apparently ‘hate’ was the complete opposite of the emotions that he’d held for her all that time. But then again he had ended up admitting that to her himself.

...That one sweet day. The day that changed everything. How could she forget that glorious afternoon.

She pulled her thoughts away from the events of that time before the images could become trouble for her. She was still in front of the kids now, she needed to behave. She cleared her throat, looking back into her plate where she held her fork. “Well. That’s good to know.”

“Yup,” Brandi added coolly, like it was an ordinary fact. “Dad loves you a lot. And Mom knows it. Everybody does.”

Nat couldn’t stop her smile from spreading. “Does he.”

“Yeah. He loves you a lot.”

Her eyes softened visibly for them too see, and her heart softened inside, where they couldn’t. The fact of it was something she knew, something he told her every day, but it was certainly different hearing it from his own kids. She certainly didn’t mind hearing it from them.

“And we know that you love him too.”

“And you need to tell him, soon,” Siggy ended curtly.

Her head shot up. She stared on, stunned at what she thought she just heard as she looked at him in horror. “What?” she breathed.

“We we see the way you look at him when you think we’re not looking too. We catch those googly eyes of yours,” Siggy teased gloatingly. “Natalie, you can’t lie.”

Nat’s eyes flicked over Brandi with an equally horrified face. “Who—who told you guys that?” She wouldn’t dare say the words to clarify what she meant. Either they knew what she was referring to or she hoped to God that she was imagining that Siggy had even said that in the first place.

“Like we said,” Siggy went on, with a triumphant smile. “Young, but not stupid.”

“Why haven’t you told him?” Brandi frowned. It wasn’t a condemning frown, or judging. She simply was asking her. Asking why she didn’t admit her love for her father. She plainly did not understand it.

“I---I was going to tell him!” She stuttered. “I am!”

“Well why haven’t you then?” she said again.

She actually had no words for that. She should have known this would be fire for fire. Her kids were as truthful as their father. She should have thought twice before prying into information from them. She sat there, still in shock that they knew about her situation, and then she was faced with the brutal truth of Brandi’s words.

Why.

Why hadn’t she told him yet? Why hadn’t she yet said those three words?

That’s right....Because she was scared. Because those were the only words keeping her from being one hundred percent vulnerable and open with him. Because it was the last shred of her wall that she had between them both before he had total control of her soul, and worst, her heart.

“You need to tell him, Natalie,” Brandi insisted, noting the omission of answering. “He really wants to hear it. Dad loves you a lot and he says it all the time. You should tell him you love him too. It would make him really happy if you did.”

And just like that, in her simple, non-complicated reasoning for things, Brandi basically told her that there was no reason for her to hold herself back if she loved him, when he clearly and truly loved her so fully himself.

“I...,” she started to speak and closed her mouth, swallowing and speaking more intently. “It’s not that I don’t want to. I will tell him. I will,” she said more surely, for herself more than for them. “When the time is right I will. We’re just waiting for the right time,” she admitted, telling the truth to them too. They’d told her so much already; she may as well admit that bit. She realized that she and the kids were sharing a lot more lately than just secrets.

“Ok,” Brandi accepted that finally, shrugging as if there were nothing else to say for it. “But don’t wait too long, because he said that after the baby if he’s gonna marry you he’s not gonna do it until you say it.”

At this rate she was going to have permanent whiplash. This time she almost choked on her spit to add to it. “WHAT?”

“Good job, stupid,” Siggy muttered. “You weren’t supposed to tell her.”

“Hey,” she regained herself enough to gently reprimand him. “How ‘bout we not call names at the table, thank you.”

He looked down, guiltily. “Sorry.”

She went right back to her expression, gaping again. “Jackie said what??” She corrected herself, shaking her head. “Your father said what??”

“Please don’t tell him that I told you. I wasn’t supposed to tell,” she shook her head. The guilt showed in her eyes. Her father was speaking of a lot more than just their relationship to them. He was talking about marriage.

Nat nodded her head quick, closing her mouth from it being gaping. Brandi looked over to Siggy, whose body language was casual and shrugging, simply saying, ‘oh well.’ Brandi looked down into her plate, taking a bite of her food quietly, resigning from talking for the rest of the day. She had let the cat out of the bag, and there was no way of getting it back in again.

Nat watched her by her guilty expression, and she felt for her. After several tries of clearing her throat, and of keeping her mouth closed, she swallowed, biting her lips as she smirked.

“I won’t say a word to him,” she said. “I promise.”

Brandi looked up, and with wide eyes she watched Nat’s light face, her own look quickly forming into a relieved and thankful smile. Nat couldn’t help it, her eyes winced and she smiled back, and she looked to Siggy, smirking too, reaching over to grab another piece of lasagna at the table.

“Can I just ask one more thing?” she said, getting their attention, “And then we’ll drop the subject?”

They both stared, waiting.

“...Why doesn’t your father want you to tell me?”

Brandi stopped and paused thoughtfully and smiled, wondering if she should reveal that last bit of information, as she’d already given away too much. But then she finally decided that after now it was worth it, and wouldn’t hurt anybody.

“Because...” Her voice trailed on the edge of a laugh. “He said that he knows you’d run screaming if he asked you now. He wants to wait until the baby so that you’re all mushy and motherly by the time he asks, and you’ll have no choice but to say yes.”

Nat paused, and her mouth fell open before it widened into a huge amusement-filled smile. Brandi’s eyes lit up with humor as Siggy laughed, recalling his exact words that day as he told them.

Nat laughed along with them, sounds of giggles and chuckles all around as they picked up their forks and knives and slowly went back to their plates. She bit her lip, fighting and failing to hide her continuing smile as she felt the subtle prickling of her eyes filling up that she was accustomed to by now, thanks to the little ball of love growing inside resulting from said man.

She supposed that while they were together, she could admit one last thing. “I guess he’s right, then. I wouldn’t say yes any other day.”

The house was so quiet now. No kids yelling, no parents laughing, it was silent. And I think he would agree that we both missed it.

We hung around a little bit, and Michael made tea for me before we both went downstairs. And now we were sitting in front of the fireplace in the library, while Michael sat back and I brought the slice of cake over to him as I sat down and draped my legs over his, letting him bring his hands to rubbing my skin slowly as I ate a piece. I offered him the next one and he declined, and I took the bite, quietly licking the frosting from the spoon after. I couldn’t help it. I glanced to the fireplace surrounded by all the beautiful books that we had around us, and dropped my head onto him, sighing.

“Fun party, huh”.

I glanced up and saw him smiling from the top of my eyes. “You did amazing. I had no idea about it.”

“That was the point,” I smirked. “I was sick of you only surprising me. You deserved one for a change.” I kissed his shoulder. “You really did. And I don’t wanna toot my own horn—“

He snorted.

“—But, I carried that out pretty darn well, didn’t I?”

He grinned rubbing my leg up and down and warming me up all over from it. “You did. And I’ll get you back for it.”

You’ve gotta be kidding. “No,” I lightly smacked his hand. “No getting me back. Just let me have this babe, geeze.”

He started laughing and leaned into me while I held the plate out of the way, accepting his kiss to the side of my cheek. That was better.

“I’m glad we did this,” he started softly. “At least we can enjoy home for a few days before the circus begins. We’ve still got a lot to do left. We have to finish packing and I still have tracks to put away and I’ve still got a lot of recording to do when we go and--I was just thinking about it—how are we gonna do all this before the baby even comes.”

I hummed to myself, knowing I asked the same question every day. “Yeah,” I sighed on him. “Just when we were ready to settle down and be calmer, this happens.”

He started laughing and I joined in, and I felt his arm stretch around me as I nestled in. I heard him make a small sound, and I glanced up to see him wincing, closing his eyes and making a face before he opened them again. And then it reminded me. I reached into my pocket to grab the half-pill that I’d had all day. I held it out to him. “Here.”

“Hm?” He looked up and over at me slowly and I jumped in talking quickly, “It’s still a half. Just take it with some frosting and you’ll be good.”

He looked at me, and just like I feared his expression wasn’t happy. He turned his gaze away from me, not saying a word.

“Babe,” I frowned.

“Jess, what’d I say,” he murmured, lifting his hand up to push mine further from him. “No more. I’m doing this without them.”

“Well,” I sighed, “Ok, look. About that...I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

He sat back and finally turned and looked at me.

“You’ve been taking them for a good while, even though it hasn’t been long they’re still in your system, and you still have been having withdrawals, and I just really think it would be better, and safer, if you just weaned yourself off of them instead of cutting dry.”

He stopped and stared, quietly searching my eyes. “You don’t trust me to do this?”

“No that’s not it,” I shook my head.

“You think I’m gonna go back?”

“It’s not about trusting you,” I said firmer. “It’s about your health.”

“I am being healthy by not taking it,” he bowed. “I can handle it. I’ve been fine all day.”

“No,” I shook my head. “You weren’t fine. You had a headache. I saw. You had to leave the group several times ‘cause of it. If you keep getting symptoms like that while we’re leaving, what’s that gonna mean for your shows? It’s too risky for you to be playing superhero right now, Michael. You can’t risk getting sick this way, not this close to leaving. I know you wanna fight this and come out strong and that’s amazing and I admire it--but sometimes you have to admit when you can’t do something on your own. And you can’t do this,” I held.

I should have known that as soon I’d said those four words it would not go well, but it was too late. I’d said them and now it’d set him off. Michael was Michael. You couldn’t tell him that he can’t do anything. There was no “could not” for anything.

“How do you know that?” he glared. “It was only a headache. I’ve been fine so far.”

“So you’d call headaches, backaches and snapping at employees, ‘fine?” I rose a brow.

He paused looking down. “That was different. I was just frustrated. I apologized to Chamia.”

“You were having withdrawals,” I corrected him. And he went still, not even looking up at me.

“I’m the nurse, right?” I said softly. “So I know. I’ve seen this so many times before and it’s debilitating in itself. It’s hard to get control of it once it starts.” He didn’t say anything in response so I cut a piece of my cake for him. “You’re lucky that your staff understands. They love you, though. We all do.” I held the spoon up to his mouth, and his eyes suddenly switched up to me. I watched in that second as his brows furrowed deep and he held my hand away.

“I’m not hungry. You told my staff?” He frowned.

“No,” I pulled out of his grip. “I didn’t have to. They’ve been around you longer than I have. They’re not stupid, Mike. They all know.”

I brought the spoon up again and his hand took mine and pushed it down from him, pushing my hand away.

“I said I wasn’t hungry,” he bit. “You had no right to talk to them about that. That’s my private business.”

I finally gave up and dropped the spoon down. “Well if you heard what I said, I said that I didn’t tell--” he started to get up before I could even finish my sentence, and his movement sent my legs dropping down from his lap as I almost fell over, having to steady myself on my hand and looking up startled before I could sit myself straight.

“Well excuse the fuck out of you,” I glared at him. Oh now I was upset. “I didn’t tell them!”

“How do they know then??” He spun around, glaring down at me. “How else would they know?”

“Oh, I don’t know, let me see,” I drawled sarcastically for him. “You made one of them cry, you told another to keep his distance away from me...you sent another calling your mom in a panic while you TRASHED our room...”

His eyes shot wide. “Who told you that?”

“Your MOTHER did,” I stared him down. “She said that Bill walked in on you flipping out and didn’t know what else to do. And when she came back she cleaned up the mess you made in the room. She said you broke everything. My things included. I’m assuming that that’s what happened to my clock and lamp.” I burned at him with the full force of my glare. He wanted to get rude with me? Today was not the damn day.

He stared ahead, clearly looking in shock that I knew about it. That was the thing with him; he never thought that we knew. He didn’t realize that other people could see what he was doing. That everyone close around him knew when something went on. He could play Mr. Mysterious all he wanted to everyone outside of here but inside these walls we knew him best. It was obvious to all of us.

“So yeah, ALL of that,” I went on. “I’d consider that not-normal behavior for you. And while we’re on the topic, why would you tell BJ that? To stay away from me??”

His eyes refocused as he glanced at me and looked down again, mumbling between loose lips. “He was getting too close to you,” he said. “It was unprofessional.”

“No,” I stopped him. “BJ is nothing but respectful with me. He’s never been anything less than that.”

“And it wasn’t just you,” he shook his head sternly. “It was Chamia too. It was the way they were acting.”

“How they were acting???” I glared. “They’re seeing each other! What do you expect? It’s not like they’re making out in the kitchen during hours! They’re dating privately. They’re not doing anything wrong.”

He stared on, with an angry face. I was too far in to care.

“You wanna talk about unprofessional? The way you acted with Chamia. Now THAT was unprofessional. You were in her face,” I pointed at him.

“I apologized to her,” he bit.

“That is not the point,” I threw back. “The point is that you shouldn’t have had to yell at her in the first place. Chamia does her job and she does it extremely well. You always say so. You’re always raving about her. And then suddenly now she’s incompetent and getting on your nerves?? You need to get off your high horse and realize that if there was any time that she was messing up, if there was any time she was less than amazing, it wasn’t cause of her, it was cause of you. Because YOU terrified her.”

I paused just then. Just the look in his eyes made me stop. They looked struck, and hurt. I went still, realizing how far I went. There was a silence looming in the air now, where Michael wouldn’t speak and where I was now afraid to. I shouldn’t have let it come to that. Right now wasn’t the time to start a fight with him at all. He still had a headache, and he was clearly irritable, and god....it was still his birthday. It was still his day. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t do this now.

I looked down in my seat and took the plate away from myself, putting it on the table at my feet. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to do this right now. It’s still your birthday, and I don’t want you to remember it like this. I just want you to be happy.” I stood up from the couch, keeping my eyes away from him. “I’ll just leave you alone. Come find me later when you feel better. I’ll be around.” I moved away from the seat and finally turned, looking up him and walking slowly to where he was, gently holding his shoulder as he turned his head into me, standing still and watching warily as I held his face and gave him a weak kiss to his cheek as he didn’t respond to it. And as I pulled away I took his hand, dropping the pill into it and closing his fist around it.

“We can do it the right way so it lasts. Just think about it. If not for me...do it for the baby.”

With that I let him go, and left.

I walked out of the door, breathing in deeply. I felt like a mess. I felt unsettled with myself. I’d come to realize lately that that was what me feeling hormonal felt like. Maybe that was what pushed me to go as far as I did with him. I couldn’t imagine myself being so confrontational like that any other way. Man if we were going to keep up eight more months of this, I was going to have to learn how to rein in the outbursts myself. It felt like I was bipolar or something. I walked over into the living room where the rest of the balloons and streamers and confetti were still strung around, and instantly I felt my phone vibrating. I looked down into my pocket and checked the phone, and smiled reluctantly, shaking my head seeing his name. I sighed out and picked it up, not even answering him. Just waiting.

“I think you’re going to be a crazy pregnant lady.”

I fought the wide stretch of my mouth and curved my lips in seriously.

“Man...I feel like I should mop my face off of the floor after that.”

I couldn’t help it anymore. I let it out. I was smiling. “Oh yeah, I forgot. We’re supposed to hold hands when we’re arguing.”

He snorted on his end, as I moved over to the arm of the couch sitting. “That wasn’t arguing. You verbally attacked me. Besides, I had nothing to say back to that.”
I stayed quiet.

“Because you were right,” he finished low.

I looked down.

“I’m sorry.”

“...Don’t be,” I murmured. “You’re right. I attacked you. I definitely blew it up too. I’m feeling all wonky again.”

“The baby?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.

“Do you feel like you’re gonna throw up?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I just feel unsettled. I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll come over,” I heard ruffling as he moved on his end.

“No,” I stopped him. “You stay there and think about what I said. I was serious. I don’t want you to do it this way.”

I heard him sighing on the line, knowing that he must have sat back down. Good.

“I was thinking,” he said low.

“Good,” I said. “Think some more. I don’t want you to do it this way.”

I heard him sigh out again. That was a record, folks. “What’s the use in taking just half a pill? It doesn’t do anything for me. You know that.”

“It’ll help wean you off of them, instead of sending you into full withdrawal like you’re going through now. The way you were frustrated now is the same way you’ll be frustrated on tour, and you don’t want that happening. You said this is your last tour, right? That you want it to be your last?”

“Right,” he muttered.

“And I know you want to make it the best.”

He went silent. He knew that I was right again.

“And I know you don’t want any mistakes. This is gonna throw you off your game if you don’t control it the right way. Your rehearsals have been amazing. You can’t afford to have anything getting in the way of it now. Not nothing.”

I paused and made a face. “Double negative. Not a thing,” I corrected myself.

He started laughing at me and I smiled. I loved making him laugh. I let him ease down again before I spoke. “But do you see what I’m saying?”

He went quiet, and I heard his gentle breathing on the end.

“Can I come over there?”

I sighed, “Michael--”

“We’ll talk about it. I just wanna be next to you to do it.”

I sighed out again. Michael: 3. Jessie: 2. “Go ahead.”

I sat on the couch and turned around, and saw him coming around slowly as I dropped my head on my hands waiting. He came around the corner and joined me, sitting in front of me and taking my hand. I felt his fingers slowly rubbing my skin as I watched him, not giving him any expression.

“I finished your cake,” he hummed.

I held my face. He was just tryna please me.

“Can I kiss you?”

I so badly wanted to say no to him. But his kisses were amazing. And like I said, it was his birthday. He could get whatever he wanted. I’d told him that. “Yes.”

He smiled knowing that he would win, and leaned in, giving me the softest, sweetest kiss on the lips. I tried to hold my iron will while his smooth mouth moved against mine in the smallest strokes, and as I felt his fingers holding my face in place by my chin. I fought it. I fought the melting feeling. But dang was it hard. This man’s had years of experience on me. And he knew me like no one else did. I was surprised that I didn’t drop into his arms right then. I lifted my hand up to hold him and he bent his head, and I surrendered to it. Oh, that man.

When he pulled back I had to fight falling onto him, so I held myself in place. But his arms wrapped around me and took me with him, bringing me with him on the couch, making me lay against him while he lifted my leg up to lay over his and I slowly relaxed again. We were almost the exact same way that we were down in the library.

He sighed out and dropped his head back, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. His headache again.

I dropped my head onto his chest doing away with my iron will, and I put my arms around him, kissing his chest and looking up at his closed eyes. He rested back and exhaled, going still and silent.

“You want me to take the pills.”

“Yes,” I nodded.

“And then what?”

“And then,” I fixed myself closer into him, “And then we’ll take it from there. We’ll wean you off slowly. I can even make it a whole pill if you want. It just needs to be less than what you’ve been taking.”

He went quiet again, and I looked up at him, his made-up face, his sloppy and un-sculpted curls under his hat. I reached up and took the edge of one, tugging it gently while I waited for him to answer me. Seemed like forever by now.

“...Fine.”

I glanced up again.

“Alright.” So I didn’t imagine it that time.

“Alright?” I smiled.

“Yes,” he hummed again. “Alright. We’ll do it the way you wanna do it.”

I instantly grinned. And then kissed him. I saw him trying to stifle his own smile, and I dropped my head against his arm that was hung around me, just smiling up and being happy that he let me win without another fight again. Without much of a fight at least.

“Anything else?” He rose a perfect brow.

“Mm mm, nope,” I shook my head, finally nestling up into him. He wasn’t upset, he didn’t hold a grudge with me for yelling at him or anything. Man, there was true power in this pregnancy. Michael was so much more passive nowadays. And agreeing even quicker to things? I had to come up with more requests before these nine months were over.

He closed his eyes again and dropped his head back, wincing as he laid down. I pouted for him and brought my hand up brushing across his neck as I stared up at him.

“Still have your headache?”

“Yeah,” he answered soft.

I bit my lip. “Did you take the pill?”

“Yeah,” he smirked. “I took it.”

“Good,” I smiled wide, trying and failing to control. Damn. This baby was everything.

I rested on his shoulder for a while, thinking fleeting thoughts before I took in a deep breath. I was craving something sweet. Candy.

“Do we still have any?” I murmured, looking around the room to see.

“Huh?” I heard Michael say beside me. And then I found one. A lollipop. Perfect.

“Nothing, sorry,” I told him, leaning to the table and grabbing the lollipop to unwrap. I sat back and saw Michael watching me, and I smiled at him quickly as I took the wrap apart, popping it into my mouth. Perfect. I sucked on it while he still watched me, and I smirked, twirling it in my mouth that way that somehow makes it taste even better to you. He watched me still, silently sitting there while I brought my other leg up on his lap to join the first.

“Betsy was so cute,” I remembered her cherry shaped face and her munching the food from us.

I saw the edge of Michael’s smirk. “She was.”

“Sorry,” I remembered. “You don’t feel like talking.”

“No,” he shook his head. “Go ahead, you’ll take my mind away from it.”

That’s right, the topic of babies could take his mind away from anything.

“Seriously, if we have a girl---IF,” I stopped him before he answered me, and his responding smile showed me that, “We’ll have to get her a cute little headband like the one she had.”

“We’ll put that on the list,” he said.

“We’ll make sure she has a ton of them,” I smiled. “One in every color.”

“---But for our BOY,” I bowed my head and Michael started giggling entertained at me.

I laughed, putting the lollipop back in my mouth and finally going quiet. I’d led him relax peacefully.

I rested back quietly, checking my fresh manicured nails and minding my own business, but as I glanced up I saw his eyes watching me. I stared back for a moment and looked away, but even when I looked back at him I saw those deep eyes that seemed very intent on watching me. I stared back even longer for a moment, and realized just what he was staring at. I’d been around enough boys, and long enough to know what he was thinking of right now. It made me laugh.

“Can I help you?” I teased.

He didn’t say anything. I took the lollipop out and licked it straight up, and felt him go dead still under me. I licked it again for good measure and then slid it back in my mouth teasing it until just the tip came in. He had a good imagination. He could see.

I grinned, still with it held between my teeth. He didn’t say anything to me, but my word....whatever it was poking into my leg that wasn’t there before told me that he was enjoying the show. It made it harder for me to breathe, and I tried more to focus on concentrating on what I was doing.

After several more seconds that lump got harder, and I felt like closing my legs together, just imagining it and what it was ready to do. He was really happy to be watching me.

I switched my eyes up to him, in a way that feigned innocence but truly wasn’t, and I teased him more. “You know....”

I ended up crossing my legs like I’d needed to. “You could just ask.”

I watched him pause before he answered. “Ask what?”

My smile spread wide. I twirled the ball of the lollipop in my mouth, and watched as his intent eyes focused solely on the movement, watching with the most attention I’d ever seen him give.

I pulled it away. “What you want,” I hinted.

He swallowed and I saw the movement under his skin, before he breathed out through loose lips again. “What do I want?”

I slid it back into my mouth, watching his eyes glued as it disappeared from sight. In a smooth movement I brought my leg down to press into him, into his bulge letting him know that I knew what was going on. I felt his fingers on my legs gripping me, and, bingo. There we were.

“What do I want,” he repeated. And was it just me or was his voice a little more breathy?

“I knew it as soon as you came out here,” I told him, with a full and mumbling mouth. I knew that did something for him too, as strange as it sounded. I made a distinct noise as I took it back out, and I knew that sound reminded him of other naughty, naughty things.

“I know exactly what you want,” I whispered up to him. “And I’ll give it to you. All you have to do is ask for it.”

He went so still, and I watched, and waited. I don’t know why he was hesitating, but I’d make it easier for him. I lifted myself up, leaning into him as he moved back watching. And I leaned over, purposely bringing a hand between his legs for support, and casually cupping him in my hand as I slid the lollipop in, kissing his cheek for him. And I casually leaned in closer, whispering into his ear. “It’s your birthday. You get whatever you want. All you have to do, is ask.”

I moved back, seeing the cutest sight of him with the stick sticking out of his mouth, and I stood up from him, moving around the couch and walking away.

“I’ll be in the room when you figure out the right words,” I called. And with that I left the birthday boy alone to make his decision.


***
---

Jesus Christmas.

I pushed myself up from the chair and turned to the stairs climbing them two by two. Where was she right now....I looked into the bedroom on the first floor and she wasn’t there, and I took the next steps up two by two into the second floor, bursting through the door. There she was still in her red dress, the skirt bunched up at her hips, her legs crossed on the bed while she smiled at me.

“Well that was faster than your usual time,” she joked.

I walked in and closed the door behind me. So I made good time, huh? I wasn’t wasting any more.

“Did you think of what to say?”

“Yeah,” I breathed. “I know exactly what to say.”

“Say it, then,” she coaxed, the most devilish smile on her face.

I smiled right back. “I need help getting rid of this headache.”

She looked pleased by that answer. “How,” she purred.

“You know how,” I smirked, walking to her. I moved to where she was sitting, and she turned to look up to me from her seat on the edge. I felt like a brick down there. Now that I knew that it was on her mind, I was ready for anything.

I took her hand, playing her fingers to encourage her. “My head hurts, baby. And you know, what helped it last time, was....”

“Was what,” she smiled, playing her fingers with mine too.

Oh god, was she really going to make me say it say it? “...These...” l brought my hand up and ran my thumb across her lips slowly, just imagining them being used in the most wonderful way. ...Ugh it was starting to hurt down there now.

“My lips?” She arched a brow.

Yes. There we go.

She smirked and leaned forward, lifting my hand up and kissing it. “You love my kisses, huh?”

Not quite. Ok yes but, not quite like that... “I was thinking more....near where my hand is.”

She looked down at me. “Your stomach?”

Argh. No. She was doing this on purpose. “No. I mean...here,” I pointed quick to it and pulled my hand away.

“Oh...” she nodded, smiling up at me. Finally. She reached her hands up to my belt, and grabbed the buckle, pulling the strap out while I watched and held my breath, looking down at her undoing it slowly. She went to my button and fly, and zipped it slowly down, pulling my pants down after with only my underwear left to go.

She leaned forward and I went completely still, and watched her kiss it, holding her lips in place. Oh god yes.

She pulled back and smiled up at me. “There. All better.”

P—Pardon??

“Headache gone now?” She rose both brows.

“N—no,” I stuttered, and swallowed hard. “Jessie,” I groaned.

She started giggling while I took her shoulder. This was not funny at all.

“What is it that you want, babe?” She grinned. “You gotta say it.”

“You know what I want,” I nodded.

“I don’t know anything unless you tell me,” she smiled, tracing her hand across the waistband of my briefs. Ugh. That hand. Fine. I couldn’t take it anymore. Fine I’d say it.

“I want you to use...use your mouth,” I mumbled.

“To do what,” she hummed. And I watched her peeling my underwear off of me, setting me free while she took me in her slim hand and slowly started caressing me.

Oh god.

----

I watched him fighting between the pleasure I started making him feel, and between saying the words I so badly wanted to hear. I rubbed his hard length smoothly, giving him more incentive to say it. Oh he’d say it, if he knew what was good for him. And he knew that it would be good for him.

He leaned in and I watched him taking a shaky breath, giving himself to me more as I wrapped my hand around his full hardness now. That told me that he was deep in. There was no going back now. I wanted to hear it and I wanted to hear it so bad. And now I wanted to taste it. Oh I wanted to taste it so damn badly.

“Just say it babe,” I whispered, moving my fist up and down on him. “What do you want me to do?”

“Fuck,” I heard him whisper softly. And with that I had to tighten my legs together feeling the throbbing ache build between them. It wasn’t just him dying from this.

I licked my lips, holding my mouth tightly closed fighting going ahead and doing what I needed his command for. Instead I tightened my hand, moving my fist up and down harder while I felt his hand on my shoulder tighten, holding me hard under him.

He leaned down while I glanced up quick, and he slouched over me, breathing heavy next o my ear and balancing himself on the bed. My heart started pounding waiting to hear the magic words from him, and then I felt his hands move to my knees, spreading them open and going to my center, cupping me and rubbing me in my wetness there. Oh crap.

My eyes fluttered closed just before I stopped myself and brought my free hand down quick to rip his away, glaring at him.

“No.” You are not getting off easy like that. “Just say it.”

And for that little indiscretion I went back to rubbing him, using both hands on him now, one on his length and one at his base, torturing him even more.

“Just say it Michael,” I breathed, ignoring the aching feeling of wanting his hands right back between me.

He gasped out next to my ear. “Suck me.”

Fuck. I barely heard it that time.

“Say it again,” I goaded, with words and fingers.

He gulped, dropping his head down next to mine. “Suck it, please.”

I’d make him tell me what exactly of his he wanted me to suck, but even for me that would be cruel. Those words were enough for me. I took him and turned him to fall back to sitting on the bed, and I crawled down to the carpet on my knees, not wasting any more time. I took him, and slipped him in.

I heard his loud groan as he fell back flat onto the bed, and I started laughing, taking more of him into my mouth while I ran my tongue over his thick skin. Oh, fuck, yes. I started sucking him instantly, and then once I had that first taste, I was lost from there.

---

I was dyin. I didn’t know what else to do but hold on for dear life. I was going to explode. Seriously. And she’d teased me too much. I was gonna go right then and there. I tried to hold myself in as much as possible but oh GOD her mouth was relentless on me. Instead I took a deep breath, trying to regain myself as much as I could so I could get up on my elbows, propping myself up to see her moving, to see her moving down on me.

Bless her soul.

---

I licked him as slowly and as carefully as I did the lollipop that I’d had I my mouth. I’d teased him enough with it earlier, I had to carry through. And just as I pulled up from the tip I held him in my mouth, keeping just his tip there, sucking on that, hard, and I heard him taking in long shaking breaths as I looked up and saw his closed eyes and head tossed back from the top of my vision. I felt his fingers reach and start massaging my neck, easing me down onto him and I smiled, letting him guide me further. I took him in deep and did my work, moving back and forth on him, and having to pull back myself if I went too far. I went back to bobbing my head and felt his fingers tighten on me. He was close. I could feel it. So I worked harder. I made sure to make moaning sounds from my mouth to his skin, letting the vibrations go through him as I went on, and sure enough it provoked him, and he gripped my neck firmer, pushing me down on him another inch. I started drooling on him--as attractive as that sounds--but I had so much of him in my mouth that I was, so I made that gross slurping sound of when you need to control your spit, and oh that did him in. He took my hand from his thigh and brought it down so I could grab his base, and I grinned, going to his balls and holding them carefully while I worked them right along with holding his base, moving my head on him. I took him even deeper....dangerously deep, and I choked a little feeling him at the back of my throat. I pulled back and swallowed with a deep breath, and went back to sucking him, going and regaining myself while I worked him with my fingers. I was used to this happening, but I couldn’t help it. I’d take all of him in me if I could. But he was not a case where I could.

I eased myself down further, going from milking him in my mouth to moving my head back and forth, and I felt his hands massaging my neck more as he eased me down again, and I went with him. Then I felt his hips circling, and I felt him getting into it, and I felt the wetness pooling between my legs as it grew more just knowing his reaction.

Man I tried so hard not to touch myself, but I couldn’t help it. I reached down quickly to go under my skirt and slid into my panties and made a few circles on my swell to ease the aching down, and once I’d touched myself and felt the soaking wetness I couldn’t help it...I had to go deeper. I slid my fingers inside and opened my legs wider as I moved them in and out of me moving along raggedly with the rhythm of Michael’s shaft inside of my mouth, and I let the knowledge and feelings take me and let the chills swim through my body, and I let the moans out onto his skin, feeling him turn his hips into my mouth even more, moving in and out with his pace. I pulled my hand out finally and circled my tip, and with one last touch I went back up to grabbing his base and massaging him, and I felt his hips as he gently rocked himself in and out of my mouth with the new scent of my own dripping pleasure now coated on my fingers. Mm...this was too much now...I was loving it too much...

When he started bucking his hips I knew he was close to done, so I started sucking him harder and faster, just going relentlessly on him. Then it happened sooner than I thought. I heard his long and helpless moan and then I felt the hot liquid of him pour into my mouth, and as I did he pulled me farther down, his length almost completely in me, his tip reaching the back of my throat. I started swallowing him down, taking large greedy gulps on him to make sure that he felt it, and his hands were firm on my skin, holding me there with him deep in my mouth as he trembled all over.

But he held me a second too long. While he kept me there and finished off I swallowed him down more, squeezing and massaging his balls gently and fighting the hot tears springing out as I gagged on him again, trying to swallow it back. It made me choke, and then gag again, and when I closed my mouth over his shaft I felt my stomach flip, but not in a good way. Not in the way I liked. I pulled out from his hold, taking him out from my mouth and going still and feeling the uprising from my stomach to my throat. And in a fast second I knew what was coming next. That was it. I turned away and covered my mouth, crawling fast for the nearest trashcan in the room next to the dresser where I curled over and ultimately lost a lot more than his body liquid.

Oh great.

---

Oh my god.

“Oh my god,” I jumped up and ran over to her on the ground, pulling my pants up as I dropped down to her side.

“I’m so sorry,” I stuttered. “I’m so sorry,” I took her hair and pulled it back into my hands while she threw up even more into the can. “I’m so sorry baby, I was too rough—I shouldn’t have done that oh god I’m sorry, oh god--” I choked.

She was coughing so hard, gasping and hacking, holding the can tightly wrapped under her arms while she buried her face into it. I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there feeling scared and helpless and watching her just curled there, sounding like she was dying. She coughed out even more, leaning and spitting into the can a few times before she finally lifted herself up, and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand rolling over to sit down against the dresser drawers. I bent over and brought my hand up to her face quickly, brushing her cheek, wiping her mouth off with my sleeve and brushing her hair away while I made sure that she was ok.

“Are you alright?” Oh god it was my fault. I shouldn’t have shoved her down on me like that. What the hell was wrong with me?? “I’m so sorry baby, I didn’t mean to--”

She shook her head, her panting breaths just slowing down to deep inhales and exhales.

“I’m fine,” she gulped. “I’m---“

Her eyes bulged out and she shoved my hand away from her as she covered her mouth again, crawling to the trash to throw up another time. Oh god, as if I didn’t feel shitty enough. I rubbed her back in circles and pulled her back into my hands again, and let her finish before she turned back around, going back to her sitting position while I wiped her mouth for her on my shirt’s arm.

“It wasn’t---” she stopped and paused with a finger held up, and I watched as she waited it out, obviously making sure that she wasn’t going to be sick again. I guess she wasn’t, she exhaled and took her hand down, taking a shallow breath. “It wasn’t you.”

She held onto my shirt then. “You’re fine.”

I didn’t feel fine. “I didn’t know that you were getting nauseous, I didn’t think you’d get sick. That’s never happened before....right?” I paused, dreading my own question. Please let that not have happened before.

She took another deep breath and breathed out again. “No, it’s...it’s not your fault. It’s his fault,” she pointed down to her stomach, and immediately I realized. She was having evening sickness again.

“At least I think,” she added with a swallow.

“It’s the baby?” I breathed, going out to rub her stomach.

She nodded her head, her hand going over mine. Well that made me feel alot better. It felt so much better to know that I hadn’t made my wife sick, the baby had.

I smiled then. The baby.

And suddenly we were looking at each other, and giggling, laughing together and seeing the humor in this. I was glad that we could take humor in this. And finally I let out a long breath, dropping myself down into her and resting with my head on her chest, feeling her warm skin on mine as I straightened myself down laying on her. She wrapped her hands up around my neck, and I felt her brushing my hair with her fingertips...and I brought my hand down, sliding it up under her dress to touch her bare belly. Her beautifully warm, swollen belly.

I felt her scratching my scalp gently and it felt so good. I closed my eyes, resting into her chest more, feeling her full breasts against my face. Just then I’d realized something about them. I’d realized had they’d gotten bigger too. Her whole body was changing, and evolving for this baby. It was so beautiful.

Man...I smiled to myself, rubbing her stomach under my hand and holding her.

I heard her breathe out above me, and I closed my eyes.

“...Some birthday, huh?”

I bit my lip smiling, rubbing her stomach more. “No....No, it was excellent. And that was perfect.”

I felt her humming quietly on me and I sat up, slowly turning around to see her. “Just know that you’ve given me everything I could ever want.” I reached up and held her face, held my world in my hands. “You’ve given me the greatest gift.”

She smiled down at me, her eyes softening, and I raised my mouth up to her lips, kissing her gently. I was glad that she didn’t fight me, or tell me it was yucky that I’d kissed her after what she just did. She would be carrying our child in her for the better nine months of our year. For her, I would do absolutely anything. And that included breaking free from my pill problem for her, the right way.

She traced her fingers over my mouth, and I kept rubbing her stomach and felt the size and shape of her belly, the bump fitting right under my palm. I glanced up at her and openly admired, feeling nothing but the affection and adoration that I had for the love of my life and our baby in our hands.

And then I realized it. What else I felt. Nothing.

I felt nothing.

“Hey,” I nudged her.

She arched a lined brow.

I thought of it. “My headache’s gone.”

Her eyes cleared and slowly her mouth spread until she grinned at me, laughing softly as she took my face and leaned down, kissing me again, and again and again before burying her face down into my neck. I pulled my hand out from her dress to wrap my arms around her, and lifted myself up so we could hold there. And we did. We just held there.

“I love you baby,” I heard her sweet muffle into my ear.

“I love you too,” I whispered, and kissed her hair.

“Happy Birthday.”

I smiled finally. “Thank you.”